Is there a comprehensive guide to dealing with girl’s who are shy or skittish? I find more often than not i’m running into girl’s who show signs of interest in the shape of skittishness/ acting weird as a result of the attraction.
It’s probably an age thing as I find I have an easier time interacting with older women and the occasional confident younger girl, even though i’m younger.
I’m mostly seeing a sort of female version of ejection, where they’ll run away due to the tension they feel. Or they’ll obviously avoid me/can’t make eye contact. Supplicate and go out of their way to make my life easier/say sorry alot. I deal with this a lot but I think ejection is the biggest pain because they’re quite literally trying to get away from the interaction despite me doing what I can to take the pressure off.
I’ll add that these girl’s are often times otherwise confident with other people. But I do run into the occasional all around shy girl who will REALLY close off.
I was talking to this girl fairly recently who was talking so fast out of nevousness that she literally ran out of breathe and was sort of incoherent. She later ejected from the interaction despite my efforts to make her comfortable.
Thanks
This happens to me a lot too. Sometimes I would be talking to girls and they'll...
- Forget how to talk
- Talk so much that you can't get a word in
- Approach me and then run away
- Say things like.. "Why are you talking to me? they're so many other girls here, so why me?"
- Give you back handed compliments or try troll you for no reason
- Blurt out super sexual stuff, not in a sexy way but a super awkward way
- Have trouble maintaining eye contact
- Literally melt if you touch them
From my experience, this happens when they are extremely attracted to you, and think your fundamentals are phenomenal, hence putting you on a pedestal.
Think of it like how us men act around gorgeous women... we can become retarded
So because of this I'm guessing that you're a very good looking guy, but like
@uriel pointed out, may be struggling with appearing more attainable.
I've found some ways to go around this
1) Be as laidback as possible
Remember, these girls are nervous as hell around you. So the best way to get them to relax is to be relaxed yourself.
Give them plenty of space, take natural breaks from conversation and lean back so they can get comfortable in your presence.
Also having overall laidback/nonjudgemental vibe will really help them open up. Make them feel comfortable being absolute dorks around you, and reframe their awkwardness as being cute
2) Take it easy on the seduction/arousal tech
For these girls, your vibe and presence are arousing enough. Doing too much seduction tech that raises arousal can actually get them feeling too skittish and they'll eject early
Again think back to your beginner/intermediate days, when you were approaching super hot girls. You probably forgot what to say and how to deliver your routines so you ejected early to save yourself from the rejection, despite being insanely attracted to them
But when you interacted with less attractive girls it was probably less nerve wrecking, and you were able to stay in set longer... Well the same shit happens with girls, and too much arousal too soon can sometimes backfire
So save all the arousal tech for when they're more comfortable with your presence
3) Keep conversation focused on them
The more they talk, the more comfortable they'll feel around you. So even it it feels very clunky, persist until you can find a topic related to them that they're passionate about.
For example I had a girl once that for almost 30 minutes straight won't shut up about her love for Tik-Tok. This may not be the most seduction friendly topic, but she was showing signs of intimidation. So I drilled on that topic for as long as possible until she was comfortable enough to go along with my sexual frames and escalation
4) Compliment and Qualify Them more
Again these girls are currently in fight and flight mode. They are scared that they may not be good enough, so you can take the edge off by giving them some genuine compliments to ease their fear of rejection
5) Show Vulnerability
Use a little self deprecating humor. Make mistakes. Tell them about how you grew up being shy and how it was so hard to grow out of it.
Show that you're human and have flaws just like them. It will make them feel more at ease
6) Persist Through The Awkwardness
Even when doing everything you can to ease the tension, some girls may never fully relax. In those situations focus on staying laidback while leading the situation the best you can.
They eject?
- Re-open them later..
"It's you again! Miss me?"
They have a hard time maintaining conversation?
- You can re-frame it..
"You know what I like about you? You're super comfortable with silences and being chill. A lot of girls sometimes do too much, and I like how I can be myself around you with no pressure"
They over-invest or over supplicate?
- Balance it out, by showing gratitude towards their gestures and then also investing a little yourself to not make the attraction imbalance any bigger
7) Close The Deal Fast
Again, the reason why these girls are acting so skittish is because they have insane levels of attraction for you. Which means they want to bone...
So after building some comfort it's best to move as fast as possible, because if you wait too long you she will talk herself out of it
Sometimes you can lay these girls extremely fast because all you have to do is build just enough comfort to get them compliant enough to say yes to your pull attempts... but don't be surprised when they jump your bones when you two are finally alone
Hope this helps, but think of this as a high quality problem
