Getting her to come see me.

[MisterJ]

I'm a little embarrassed to be posting about this, but I could definitely use some outside perspectives. I'm 33. Over the summer, met a 24 y/o. We worked together at a summer job, and she had a long-distance long-term BF. Still, we bonded a bit over songwriting, wrote music together, and one night (3AM, under stars - we worked in the woods) I confessed that I had a crush on her. She said she thought she had feelings for me too. But, nothing happened because of the BF.

Now, 2 months later after the end of the job, she's broken up with her BF. Not FOR me, but her attraction to me helped her realize she wasn't happy in her relationship. Ok. So that makes me feel good. We texted a bit, chatted on the phone a bit, but it's cooled way off. I was hoping, now that she's single, she'd be excited to potentially come see me. She's sad about the ex. And feels distant now. We live in different places, but I told her I could help her pay for a plane ticket. My dream is to have her with me for a little while and we can finish what we started and see where it goes. I daydream about it all the time, to an obnoxious degree.

I think I need to let this one go. But I'd still love to have her come see me. Any ideas on how to sell her on the idea?

 

[Finalstep]

I'm a little embarrassed to be posting about this, but I could definitely use some outside perspectives.

No need to feel that way. We're here to support each other.

I confessed that I had a crush on her. She said she thought she had feelings for me too. But, nothing happened because of the BF.

Can you rewrite here the short conversation - what exactly the two of you said - on that?
Nothing happened = you wanted to take action but she stopped it? or you simply did nothing?

Generaly confessing "feelings" does not seem to be a good idea unless she is emotionaly
way more invested than you, i.e. "head over heels with you." Even then. Why? It takes away the
mystery and kills tension (this is what women fall for not for your feelings.
Feelings I've seen it rarely work with girls in the seduction phase.
Many women prefer to chase after you. If you show her
you are already sold on her - no need to chase you, you already are hers. No mystery,
no tension, no wondering, no FUN for her!

Control yourself and save it for after you've head sex a few times with her and she
starts pushing you to show/express feelings. The function of feelings is for her
to feel bonded, i.e. on the safe side in case she's pregnant after having sex with you.

Too much, too early pushes people away.

We texted a bit, chatted on the phone a bit, but it's cooled way off.
I was hoping, now that she's single, she'd be excited to potentially come see me

In a situation where you already spent a considerable amount of time together, I consider
texting conterproductive. By texting and calling you providee a lot of value to her.
Even though it's a long distance. Until she is invested, until a sexually romantic relationship
happens, avoid that and just briefly build rapport and set up a logistics for a date.

Any ideas on how to sell her on the idea?

Would like to hear that from more experienced forum members as well.
Had similar situation (long distance) but the step you are asking about did not work.
So me for the time being simply gave it up.

Seems you played the role of a rebound for her.

 

[Fuck This]

Can you get a cheap flight to a neutral location, and get a hotel room?

Here is why...

Plausible deniability on her part
"Adventure" mindset where you two focus on each other, and locals don't know you per se...
Get commitment if she gets the room and you buy the flight. Or Vice Versa.