Getting more second dates, closing and great dates that go nowhere

[avgs30]

Maybe this isn't the best place for this, sorry in advance. I have some random thoughts on dating and would like anyone to give their opinion on what I'm about to say.

I remember some time ago maybe around 2 years ago I'd have tough time lining up mulitiple dates. Now that's no issue. I can have a few a week very easily. I dont do daygame although I want to, Ive mainly been using dating apps. Now, the issue for me has been having all of them interested in me and being able to close consistently. I have this weird thing about me where I want th girl to always be interested in me but I have the option to not see her again even if I have no interest, which obviously doesn't always happen.

I always try to at least make out on every first date and very rarely do I not. There could be a million reasons but girls start flaking out on me after the first or second dates. I have a 3rd date with this girl today though. I can't pinpoint why but it's frustrating why I can't get more 2nd dates, is this just how dating is with apps now? Everyone's dating multiple ppl so it's hard for anyone to want to meet the same person again? Also lopgistically I try to set up first dates a little closer to my place, is this too forward?

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An example recently of a girl on a second date flaking on me. First date we went to a bar, had wine, date went well and we hit it off. We didn't make out but I texted her I had a great time the next day and said she said she did too.

I then went to Puerto Rico for vacation and was a little less responsive. I took a couple days to respond and she ignored me. I texted again a day later saying I was lost in the moment on vacation and disconnected myself and how it would be great to see her again and she agreed to another date. I really didn't want to lose her, I would not do this with other girls.

We went on the second date last Wednesday night and took a walk to the water after and made out and she was following my lead in everything. We were laughing, having a good time. Then she told me she was going home to Virginia for holidays for two weeks (she's a teacher here in NYC and I actually confirmed there's a two week spring break now).

Then I texted her Friday morning "Happy Friday! Do you get to leave early today?" Then no response. Then two days later on Sunday night I asked her how her weekends going and no response. This is super strange given how well our second date went and kind of disappointing. I'm dating other girls but I actually liked her a lot and don't want to lose her.

This is very confusing. I know there's a million reasons why she may not want to see me again some of which might have nothing to do with me. I just feel like radio silence and blatant ignoring is pretty cold. I'd be up front at this point if I were her idk. Hopefully she's ok, yes it actually crossed my mind that something may have happened to her. I've dated enough to know that girls usually at least respond in this type of situation, I just want some closure.

Any thoughts on what could have happened and how to deal with this situation with this girl and closing more in general, while keeping girls interested and not losing them after first or second dates?

Thanks

 

[Inbocca]

Great job on the progress man. It's funny how it seems like you'll never get past a wall, until you do -- and then there's another wall right after.


It sounds like your dates are going well but you're not giving them what they want. There are a handful of articles on the subject and there's a few different theories/reasons why this happens, but just about all of them agree that usually the best way to fix this is to fuck em at the end of the date.

Dating apps are pretty generally used for hookups and casual flings. It sounds like you're looking for a girlfriend (or at least someone you can see more than once), so maybe try another outlet like cold approach or the girls in your workplace or school.

 

[avgs30]

Not necessarily looking for a gf but if I like a girl I'll try to see her multiple times and don't care if have sex on the 3rd date or so. I'm open to having a gf but I think approaching dates this way scares girls off, especially online and in a big city like New York.

Chase has some posts where you'll stand out out if you have sex on the first date or at least go for sex on the first date. I've read many of these articles but it takes me (and I'm guessing many other readers too) some time to fully believe and implement what he's saying.

If everything was as easy as reading and applying then the world would be a totally different place ha. I need to read some posts again and again sometimes and they make more sense as I hit certain walls like you said.

I think I need to at least go for first date sex and live with the results. I need to read the post on first date sex and take these steps better.

I sometimes invite girls back if I get a good vibe but about half or a little more than half of the time they say no. Maybe I'm not escalating properly? Also is it too forward to schedule dates closer to my place?