- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Hello again everyone. First of all, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who's been helping me on the boards this past month or so, all the feedback has been much appreaciated.
Anyways, for today, I have a few more questions:
1. I was on a coffee date earlier today, and we were discussing what careers we wanted with our majors and how we were going to do that etc. I mentioned that I was trying to open my own practice as a therapist. She said "Oh, its funny that you say that because I'm in therapy right now". I asked her if its to help her get over her ex fiancee (she recently broke up with him), and she said partially, but also, that she's "been through a lot of shit in her life". By the way she said it, she seemed uncomfortable talking about the topic. I paused and looked at her, hoping she would elaborate anyway. She instead chose to change the topic. It feels like this would have been a gold mine in terms of creating emotional connection if I explored that more. But at the same time, she seemed like she didn't want to talk about it, and if I tried, I would be met with resistance.
So, my question is, when I stumble upon a sensitive topic which she may not be ready to talk about with anyone, should I persist in asking her about it anyway? Or should I just let it go and hope to come back to it later?
2. The above date didn't go so well. She texted me that she "wasn't interested" after we were done. To be completely honest, I still wasn't completely sure about this girl, like, she only stayed for about 20 minutes. I wasn't really sure what she was all about yet. I'm still uncertain if I like her for anything beyond her looks, and I'm consciously aware of all this. My point is, I don't feel like I'm too heavily invested in her.
Despite this, I still feel really depressed for messing this up. Like, I feel pretty terrible right now. I'm still working on my ability to consistently get dates (I've been on only about 3 in the past month and this was also my 4th one ever), as a result, I feel like each one is pretty valuable, and it always sucks when it doesn't workout.
Obviously, if I could get any number of dates whenever I felt like it, I wouldn't give two shits about each individual one that I mess up (as long as there is consistent improvement in my game). But being that this is not yet the case, do you guys have any tips for how to avoid feeling all depressed/frustrated? Because this feeling obviously intervenes with my ability to do other more useful things with my time.
Anyways, for today, I have a few more questions:
1. I was on a coffee date earlier today, and we were discussing what careers we wanted with our majors and how we were going to do that etc. I mentioned that I was trying to open my own practice as a therapist. She said "Oh, its funny that you say that because I'm in therapy right now". I asked her if its to help her get over her ex fiancee (she recently broke up with him), and she said partially, but also, that she's "been through a lot of shit in her life". By the way she said it, she seemed uncomfortable talking about the topic. I paused and looked at her, hoping she would elaborate anyway. She instead chose to change the topic. It feels like this would have been a gold mine in terms of creating emotional connection if I explored that more. But at the same time, she seemed like she didn't want to talk about it, and if I tried, I would be met with resistance.
So, my question is, when I stumble upon a sensitive topic which she may not be ready to talk about with anyone, should I persist in asking her about it anyway? Or should I just let it go and hope to come back to it later?
2. The above date didn't go so well. She texted me that she "wasn't interested" after we were done. To be completely honest, I still wasn't completely sure about this girl, like, she only stayed for about 20 minutes. I wasn't really sure what she was all about yet. I'm still uncertain if I like her for anything beyond her looks, and I'm consciously aware of all this. My point is, I don't feel like I'm too heavily invested in her.
Despite this, I still feel really depressed for messing this up. Like, I feel pretty terrible right now. I'm still working on my ability to consistently get dates (I've been on only about 3 in the past month and this was also my 4th one ever), as a result, I feel like each one is pretty valuable, and it always sucks when it doesn't workout.
Obviously, if I could get any number of dates whenever I felt like it, I wouldn't give two shits about each individual one that I mess up (as long as there is consistent improvement in my game). But being that this is not yet the case, do you guys have any tips for how to avoid feeling all depressed/frustrated? Because this feeling obviously intervenes with my ability to do other more useful things with my time.
