Getting over missing out and being a late bloomer.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

A while back I posted a thread about how I missed out and how it bothered me to where I wanted revenge. I talked about how angry I was that a certain group of guys in high school and college dated and slept with hot girls because they happened to run in certain crowds or be a part of certain cliques (frats, etc.).

I thought more about it and though I get some cute girls now, I realized what is missing for me is that sense of exclusiveness. What really leads to so many angry players and frustrated late bloomers as they get older is that the same sense of exclusiveness and hierarchy is not there anymore. Not only that, but also what we associate with being "older". "Older" means more stable, mature, and calm while "younger" means wild and crazy. Unfortunately, these have some very negative connotations when it comes to being "the man".

About that sense of exclusiveness, what happened in high school and college was that a certain group of guys got hot girls and beautiful women and they belonged to that exclusive group. They were a part of that exclusive group of guys that had the parties, girls, and decided who was in and who was out. They had power over things that most guys wanted and had a way of controlling who got it and who didn't.

After college, the same exclusiveness, "cool factor", and validation tends to die down. People live their own lives and are no longer forced to deal with each other anymore or at least not as much as they used to. The issue is, that sense of craziness, wildness, drama, excitement, validation, and everything that came with being "the man" in your school days tends to not exist as much when you are an "adult". "Adult" means the horrible word called stability, the one word players hate. For some reason, it seems like we attach all of the negative labels to older players. Older players don't get to party as much, they are supposed to be more "mature", and more James Bond rather than Van Wilder. The parties are more about wine tasting rather than crazy high energy parties filled with sluts. Not only that, but things such as "brotherhood" and "social hierarchy" are no longer around.

So the plight of the late bloomer can be summed up like this:

When the time to be immature and wild existed (high school and college), he was too mature for it because he had so many obligations he wanted to take care of (good grades, employable major, and wanting to get out of his shitty town). Unfortunately, when he did make it in life, he did not get the same opportunity for the "experience" which means a life full of lots of friends, being on top of a social hierarchy, tons of sex, and lots of parties. Now he wishes he could have a taste and experience of some of that which his friends that blossomed early got.

It drives him mad that he did not enjoy the alcohol fueled parties full of people he knew.

Sure he can pursue a classy "life purpose" (be a buddhist, climb mt everest, etc.) but it still isn't as "cool" as having a life that consists of hot girls, drama, validation, sex, partying, and being "the man".

As for how that can be overcome, I think the guy who finds the answer to the issue of late bloomer woes would have effectively changed the game forever.

 

[Orelfius]

Well, there's two very different issues that you merge in one.

1) Not being in the "exclusive hot/cool" circle of a given social environnement (aka: not having others being envious of your social position)

2) Not being able to party wild anymore, having to be serious and responsable.


And I answer thise:
First is very easy to fix:
a) Find any environnement that suit you.
b) Befriend a couple of people there.
c) Have so much fun with them in front of the others that they beg you to join the club.

Why it so prevalent in high school and much less after? Because in high school people get nothing else to do, literally, But it's not because people don't care to do it anymore that you can't do it. The only thing is that it's more difficult to get people envious later than in high school: they tend to be busy with their own life. But hey, that's fair: you're also more skillful now than at 16 too.

For the second point: No you don't. You can party like a wild caveman even if you're 70.

Exemple:
a) Sell all your stuff and move to S-E Asia, India, Eastern Europe, Central America (anywhere where it's cheap, really).
b) Hang out in hostel.
c) Make friends, have such a great time that everybody want to join your click.
d) Et voilà: you will have the high school glory feeling that you long for.

See? By geting older, you absorb too much "this is how you're supposed to live your life." It fossilize your brain, you stop to be creative, you stop to be curious... YOU TRY TO FIT others expectation instead of looking for creative ways to fullfill your needs.

But nothing stop you... except the way you see life.

 

[lao che]

this is wrong thinking, IMO (Edit: the Original Post, not the guy who posted shortly before me)

i had way more fun in my thirties picking up girls than i ever had when i was in my teens and twenties. and i bet you i had pretty standard experiences - that is to say, most people probably feel the same way as me about that time in their lives.
difference is i spent my thirties doing as much damage as possible, whereas they spent their thirties raising kids and putting up with their wives.
so i win that one.


there was a forum member called FeeliWastedMYYouth. "missing out" was a huge problem for him.
ray zorse, radeng and myelf dicsussed this in quite some depth on this thread:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?t=10481

although, please note, i am not comparing you, Oh Pry, to that guy. for him it was a huge hurdle, impossible to overcome, and it crippled him into inaction.

"who the fuck cares about the past at all when you got pussy coming out your ass ..." - Radeng


i wanna know how old you are, bro. let's see where you're at on this journey

oh and stop thinking about other people. people who don't even exist anymore. living well is the best revenge etc etc (i haven't read your original post but you mention anger and revenge)