Getting Tons of Dates but Not Succeeding Past That

[Paulie Walnuts]

Currently the biggest issue I'm having is not GETTING DATES anymore, it's getting those dates to turn into stuff. Ever since I've been here my pickup tech has improved like 999999%, I'm getting makeouts and pulls at the bars/parties, I'm actually getting responses to number closes in Nightgame too (two of my dates this week are a Day 2 and a Day 3 from nightgame cold approaching, already successfully hooked up with one of them). I also have 2 high interest one's that I haven't scheduled, one super hottie that's a maybe for Wedensday (waiting to see if her girlfriend cancels dinner) and the other I haven't scheduled yet because frankly I just don't find her all that attractive.

What's currently frustrating me is a lot of my "First Dates" from online game don't turn into anything, whether I talk too much and I"m extremely passionate, or when I use Phenibut and I'm more quiet and Masculine and just talking about the girl and deep diving her; I'm not seeing much interest after the first date on a lot of these. It's strange because they'll "SEEM" high interest but then go cold after the date. Like I'm talking winky faces and tons of flirting over text and then in person.... I dunno....

I'm still just not sure how to act on dates, how masculine to be, how much leading do I do; I'm SO. BLOODY. CONFUSED. Today for instance the hot German girl I went out with told me that my "stare" unnerved her, "it was like I was looking into her soul and seeing through her" (I was really just trying to use masculine eye contact but clearly I don't know how yet haha). Yesterday when I was a little more reserved and didn't lead (she kinda did... as embarrassing as that it) at the end of the date she asked me if I wanted to hangout again, and I was just like "hangout...?" and she's like "Yeah I just don't feel the click", so then I grabbed her and started making out with her and she was totally into it but then said she just didn't feel any chemistry with me. So obviously I left and didn't bother texting her back when she hit me back up.

Is this a question of not screening properly, not using enough sexual framing and Kino, not bringing enough Value, not building comfort? I'm so confused about what I need to do to become an expert seducer, I'm not saying my skills haven't improved massively since I've been here, I'm simply not at the point I read about in the Tribal Elders LR's.

Another confusing thing to me is that women tell me I'm handsome/hot/attractive during night game (no not all of them were wasted haha) but during dates or in the day I get told I'm more Cute. However when I bring nightgame tactics on dates I don't get callbacks, I'm not saying I don't get laid ever on dates or makeouts and hookups or whatever I'm just saying my closing ratio is really low and it's confusing the hell outta me! Like randomly when my fam had guests over the other night I got an okcupid message from this cute blonde I'd been talking too (that I'd just asked for the number of and said we should hangout) and she legit verbatim said "I'm so horny right now", "here's my number", then 10 minutes later "I hope you get this message soon so we can have some fun ".

Clearly my physical appearance is quite attractive but I'm either lacking in masculine dominant behavior or simply not consistent enough in it.

Off to go read more of Chase's articles hahahaha....

 

[Skid]

Hey track ,

Back on the very first date ever had I remember the girl said to me that we had a lack of chemistry. At the time I had no idea what the fuck that ment. Sounds like you don't either. By what you've described you're without a doubt a hot guy that can say hi to a girl and she'll hook really fast then agree to moving with you in 1 or 2 minutes probably less. You're asking about how masculine to be etc but you've got that down solid you're eye contact makes girls melt and they find it really intimidating. Remember girls look for 3 qualities in a man they want for the long haul which is what you seem to want since you're saying you already pull girls from clubs you want to see girls for longer than 1 date - can totally relate to that , those qualities are :

Be a friend
Be a lover
Be a provider

I think your issue is you are all lover you only satisfy a girls sexual desires and not her emotional ones. Just by the way you emphasise how you are making out with girls etc. Chemistry is your ability to be a companion and a friend to the girl you like. You don't need to be 100% masculine manly all the time it's not realistic are the women your attracted too ALWAYS super girly 100% of the time? Probably not. You only need to pull it out when your flirting or trying to arouse her, learn to chill abit and not focus on being super masculine all the time.

One of the issues I had with the girl I mentioned above was somehow for an entire date I just bantered talked about random shit and never got to know each other. I can't say for sure this is your issue because you haven't described any interactions in detail but what dramatically helped me in this area was story telling. I'm also suspicious you don't fully understand what actual deep diving looks like - maybe because you've never experienced it in person (I was like this). You start by asking probing questions and finding motivations and reasons behind why she does things (or why she doesn't motivate her to live the life she wants to live ) - with more socially competent girls they will launch into stories about their experiences etc - if she doesn't then you tell her story that relates to what she's saying (relating is really important when building emotional connections with people & if you can't relate sympathise) and then you both trade stories and that launches into another topic and then you relate more. After which its a good time isolate her & pull her in for some fun times.

Skid

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

@Skid, I can fully say the Deep Dive is probably my issue, I really have zero emotional connection with any of the girls I go out with (hence why they're able to NEXT me so fast and I'm able to do the same),

like...... I'll never get girls super interested in seeing me again, even if we have sex it's always more like a "meh" kinda thing.

Hence will concentrate on probing questions and properly deep diving, could the beginner level of this just be asking "why" to everything?

 

[Skid]

@Skid, I can fully say the Deep Dive is probably my issue, I really have zero emotional connection with any of the girls I go out with (hence why they're able to NEXT me so fast and I'm able to do the same),

like...... I'll never get girls super interested in seeing me again, even if we have sex it's always more like a "meh" kinda thing.

Hence will concentrate on probing questions and properly deep diving, could the beginner level of this just be asking "why" to everything?

Definitely when you start learning deepdiving it will be feel forced and unnatural like anything new you'll be asking why how and what and sometimes girls will give you answers with a lack of detail or honesty. Which either means you don't have enough rapport with her and therefore when she gives a uncertain answer relate to her with a story about you in a similar situation - if you can't just sympathise by saying something like : "yeah big decisions like that are a lot of pressure it's totally normal to be unsure" to build rapport and hopefully then she opens up more. For a really long time I'd just ask these probing questions and give no positive feedback and when you don't give positive feedback when's a girl says something important about herself and you just say "oh" she says to herself this guy thinks I'm really lame and goes into auto reject. What's even worse is if you continue to show interest in the girl after this because it's very incongruent and makes her feel like you just sleep with anyone and have no standards. Make her feel special! Show her that it's her amazing ass that motivated you to talk to her but her personality which made you want to stay.


Or she may genuinely has not actually thought about the things you are asking about in which case you've screened a girl you probably are never going to have a awesome emotional connection with because you can't relate on anything in life don't have similar goals or experiences. Yeah sure you can do your best to sympathise with these girls and maybe have them feel connected to you but you won't feel a connection to them and if you want something more than sex with a pretty girl on a regular basis you may not be satisfied because the connection is one sided and fake imo.

So yeah just start by asking why and how about her job studies etc and then work I following that up with what I've said above.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

@Skid,

Hey brother thanks for the advice! I just got back from the second date I had today and not only did my deep dive work really well but we actually connected! Turns out we have tons in common (she just got into Law School and I'm studying law) plus a whole bunch of other shit! Simply by asking questions and actually being interested in what she was talking about worked really well for me! It's not that I'm not typically interested in what women have to say when we're out, I'm just always concerned about getting slotted into the "Provider" frame rather than a Lover one, and I tend to use far more banter and polarity than I should; even if I like the girl I tease her a little too much.

We just kissed a bit at the end so we'll see how it goes but I think we'll end up seeing each other again, will continue to practice the emotional connection; thanks for helping me find another piece of the puzzle.

 

[Fuck This]

Ask yourself, what reason does she have to see you again?

During that first date, did you seed the idea that you two could have an adventure together?
Doesn't have to be a concrete "We should do XYZ" thing, but it should make her think "I want to see what he comes up with next!"

When you deep dive you should listen for clues in her comments and questions that something excites her. Could be your dog at home, could be your parent's cabin at the lake, could be season tickets to the opera. Make her imagine having that experience with you thorough using descriptive imagery in your words. Like describing the sunset over the Pacific ocean while Whale watching on the California coast. If that excites her, she is going to attribute that excitement to being around you.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

@Tworocky, Haha I guess I still have to lose the complete entitlement mentality most guys have that girls should just like them for "them", until you've built that emotional connection and provided value and good feelings they have no real reason to stick around yes?

I've got to differentiate myself from all the other potential suitors they have.

I can certainly do this I'm just gonna have to practice, see what makes them tick and then use that to seed an adventurous powerfully visualized idea.