GF doesn't like to give bj's

[ChristianB]

Hi guys - quick question. Wasn't sure if this was better in sex category, relationships category or here.

My girlfriend is great - we have good chemistry and she is very affectionate and feminine towards me. However the one thing I am missing sexually is that she doesn't like to give BJ's. If I ask enough times (not in nagging/pest way but just keep bringing up occasionally) she will eventually do it but I can tell she just does it for me and not because she's excited to do it. Usually when I ask she says to ask her when shes drunk (we both rarely drink anymore so this is more just deflection). At first she would say its because she isn't good at it but I was able to frame it/reassure her/positively reinforce things in way she doens't use this excuse anymore. The other excuse is that she says her mouth is small (lol) so its uncomfortable I laugh at this but she keeps insisting and brings up story of her dentist telling her her mouth is small/doesn't open very wide. We've had this same convo many times.

I don't go down on her although I've offered and she says its not really her thing either. We have good sex in general + she orgasms hard most times. She definitely has higher sex drive than me although she's not kinky at all (neither am I).

I haven't brought it up in past few weeks - but would like to get to point where its regular thing and she enjoys it also. Is there anything I can do? Or are some girls just like this with blowjobs.

 

[Will_V]

Hi guys - quick question. Wasn't sure if this was better in sex category, relationships category or here.

My girlfriend is great - we have good chemistry and she is very affectionate and feminine towards me. However the one thing I am missing sexually is that she doesn't like to give BJ's. If I ask enough times (not in nagging/pest way but just keep bringing up occasionally) she will eventually do it but I can tell she just does it for me and not because she's excited to do it. Usually when I ask she says to ask her when shes drunk (we both rarely drink anymore so this is more just deflection). At first she would say its because she isn't good at it but I was able to frame it/reassure her/positively reinforce things in way she doens't use this excuse anymore. The other excuse is that she says her mouth is small (lol) so its uncomfortable I laugh at this but she keeps insisting and brings up story of her dentist telling her her mouth is small/doesn't open very wide. We've had this same convo many times.

I don't go down on her although I've offered and she says its not really her thing either. We have good sex in general + she orgasms hard most times. She definitely has higher sex drive than me although she's not kinky at all (neither am I).

I haven't brought it up in past few weeks - but would like to get to point where its regular thing and she enjoys it also. Is there anything I can do? Or are some girls just like this with blowjobs.

Maybe she just doesn't like bjs, but first I suggest looking at how you can make the experience better for her.

What do you do while she's sucking? If you are passive, she's going to get bored. Grab a bunch of her hair, reach down and caress her nipples, or further down and rub her pussy. Run your hands all over her body. Make her beg for it first. Spank her lips with your cock. Etc.

Something I like to do is have her lie on the bed while I stand in front of her mouth, and while she's sucking I rub her clit until she gets all her wires crossed. A lot of fun to watch.

Point is, if she isn't into bjs especially, and the experience isn't otherwise satisfying or stimulating, she'll eventually stop wanting to do it. But if you stimulate her in other ways, she'll associate it with something good.

Negotiations of favors, in my experience, don't work when it comes to sex.

 

[Bill]

Ask for them during foreplay when she is turned on and have her play with herself while doing it, so she’ll associate it with pleasure.

 

[FAB DRONES]

Maybe instead of asking for a BJ make it part of sex. While fucking her as she’s lying on her back, take a break from her pussy and stick in in her face

 

[Zoro]

Think about women’s sexuality. They get turned on by emotion and experience, so I imagine girls who love to give blow jobs associate it with strong positive emotions or are getting more out of the experience than just sucking on your knob.

One way to do this is to physically stimulate her as well. But in my experience that isn’t always necessary. You can make her feel sexy as the emotional part, and turned on by your dominance and leading in the bedroom as the experience.

For instance, one of my exes would spontaneously do sexy nude dances for me… but actually I think it was more for her, even though I benefitted. And often those dances would turn into hand jobs, blowjobs and sex shortly after, unprompted by me.

The reason is because she suddenly was in the mood to feel sexy and she knew that dancing for me would make her feel that way, and that she knew I would do my part as the “lead” just like in actual dancing. In the other words, even though she initiated it, she didn’t have to step out of her feminine role. She decided to poke the bear, and now here it comes to have his way with her, but not before letting her have some fun teasing her honey.

Now the way to actually cultivate this association in her is less clear to me, but I think it has plenty to do with making her feel comfortable with her sexuality around you, and being able to bring out her fantasies and encourage them. I always thought she was a great dancer and loved watching her dance, and made it known. This slowly turned into a regular thing. I think she started doing it as more of a workout to K-POP dance workout videos.

I also made an effort to get better stimulating her mind in the bedroom, getting better at “dirty talk”, role playing, outright physical dominance, and “directing” the experience. All of this benefits from a subtle touch in my experience, because it works best when you lead while calibrating to her. Women change gears all the time. One moment she wants a tender caress to warm her up, the next she’s screaming to fuck her harder.

I think there are more ways to approach this, but this is what came to mind when I read your post.

Right now seems like her experience is just sucking on a knob. Cultivate a more sexy experience for her so she feels like a sex goddess and you’re a sex god, and suddenly she’s polishing the golden rod of pleasure in a divine act of love and lust for the both of you.

PS

Don’t forget to have good game in the rest of your relationship too. Neediness, over availability, lack of leading, etc. can have a detrimental effect on her attraction for you as well. Take a holistic view on this, it’s not just rub her pussy when she’s sucking your dick. It’s make her feel like a woman who’s with a man.