Girl asks me to respect her?

[Lucky8ball]

So last week there was this new gal working at my restaraunt, and so basically we hit it off and I asked her out in my new direct and demanding style . After a couple days we went out to eat and then we got high together and basically hung out for a few hours, also her sister showed up to smoke with us but left after like an hour. The gal said she was tired and had stuff to do in the morning but I persisted and managed to get us making out in a parking lot, but everytime i tried to escalate she'd shut it down. After an hour she was trying to go (I found out later she actually did have stuff to do in the morning) and I was trying to push harder to at least move it into her car (this was at like 1am btw), no dice. Near the end she asked me to 'respect her' which really confused me because I've been asked that once before and I have had no idea how to respond to it, I mean to me it isn't about respect, I feel like I respect her... but at the same time I like pussy, so damn, let me in girl. The date ended and we both went home. I'm proud I at least made some progress with her and got a date, but I want to know what I've done wrong because she's cool and I would like to see her again. We've talked a little bit at work, it isnt weird or anything at least for me, but we haven't gone out since.

Why might this girl want to slow down, and not have sex with me? I think maybe it's because I slotted myself into boyfriend territory, any ideas on your guys' end?

Also, how do I deal with a chick asking me to respect her, Do I just ignore her and keep pushing for sex until she leaves in frustration at me?

Any insight would be appreciated

 

[Lotus]

Make sure you are paying attention to her signs and body language and not just your end goal. ask yourself what are the signs she's giving? I'm betting there's something you missed that would have told you she wasn't ready to fuck.

Maybe you were in the relationship zone, or maybe you were to platonic and she just friend zoned you, but either way you didn't turn her on enough to get any more then a make out.

 

[ray_zorse]

In my experience, getting high together is murder for seduction, weed makes u paranoid and puts u in separate spaces, if u must smoke together do it after u fuck. Apart from that +1 Brum, she brushed you off for some reason, probably you moved too slow & didn't display sexual intent.
Ray

 

[Lucky8ball]

Thank you guys for all your advice, so basically just not be afraid to talk about sex and flirt a Lil bit?

Anything I can do to kind of fix it? Just ask her out again and see what happens?

 

[RDawg]

Lucky8ball

Firstly, love the avatar man! I'm a PENS fan as well. However, tough loss tonight, fuck the rangers haha!

Anyways, breaking down your situation, there are definitely a few possible things that could of happened here:

1) It sounds like you were in between a "lover" and "boyfriend zone".
2) The whole "respect me" thing sounds like some sort of LMR. Personally, if a girl said that to me, I would respond with something like "I am respecting you. We both went out to eat and smoked some weed and now were just having a good time kissing. Isn't that respecting you?" and then continue escalating (maybe grabbing her hand eventually and putting it on your cock or whatever).
3) Also, I probably would have started escalating as soon as you guys smoked some weed (Note: I can remember Chase telling me through I believe some research articles he read that "weed" increases sex drive in women. However, I had one experience (not a great experience) with a girl who I was on a date with and she was high and the date didn't end in sex).


Also, a little bizarre that her sister showed up on the date? Just of curiosity, why did she? I know I wouldn't of liked that if that was me on a date with a girl. That would just make things complicated with her in the middle, especially if she was with you guys for an hour. Plus, it looks like it could of cut into your escalation time with her and killed an hour.

Anyways, good job on making some progress and getting her on a date and at least getting to the point of escalating. Hope some of this advice helps brother!

Go PENS! Game 4 Wednesday

Rdawg

 

[Lucky8ball]

Rdawg, I'm legit loving you dude I'm also Italian haha
But yeah pens are dicking on the rangers in 7 its in the bag.

So what happened was we were driving around to find a cool place to see the city when her sister eventually called her, and my gal accidentally invited her to come smoke. I could tell she didn't mean to right when she said it, but basically we were escalating before the sister showed up and when she arrived we had to stop to go smoke.

She didn't leave for an hour and when she did we went back to the parking lot.

And yeah every time I tried to get her hand on my dick shed pull away and all that jazz :/

Thanks for your advice though I appreciate it, any tips on what to do to try and get a second date? And if I get it should I escalate as quickly as possible or just go with the flow?

 

[RDawg]

Rdawg, I'm legit loving you dude I'm also Italian haha
But yeah pens are dicking on the rangers in 7 its in the bag.

Haha Fuckin right on man, a fellow paesan!

So what happened was we were driving around to find a cool place to see the city when her sister eventually called her, and my gal accidentally invited her to come smoke. I could tell she didn't mean to right when she said it, but basically we were escalating before the sister showed up and when she arrived we had to stop to go smoke.

She didn't leave for an hour and when she did we went back to the parking lot.

And yeah every time I tried to get her hand on my dick shed pull away and all that jazz :/

Ya, it just sounds like with her coming, it made things more "boyfriend zone-ish".

Anyways, you potentially got three options if you would life to move forward with this girl:

1) Invite her over to your place directly for some dinner, movie, popcorn or whatever and then attempt to escalate and fuck her. (Typically, I like doing this with girls who I don't care so much for and I failed escalating on them the first time. It's low investment on your part, which makes things simple and easy).

2) Invite her out for a "romantic-like" second date as Franco usually describes on the boards. Typically, you would not escalate on her at all to potentially change her feelings about you and then you would set-up the third date and go for the kill. (This might be the best scenario, but it's more high investment from your part (e.g., time consuming, etc.).

3) Invite her out to a party, club/bar or social event where you are seen with other girls (e.g., pre-selection). If you follow this path and do it correctly, this will raise your value level, since it has already dropped from the failed escalation. Furthermore, this would potentially make things easier when trying to escalate on her, and sex would probably happen with less resistance. If you don't sleep with her on the party date, you can set-up a third date with her and then go for the kill. (Personally, I usually only do these type of "party dates" when I am busy with things in my life and I'd still like to meet other women at the same time, so meeting at a social event is a great option. This is more of an outcome-dependent approach and is somewhat low-investment as well.)

Hope this helps buddy!

Rdawg