FR  Girl at the bar

Sky

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
25
Location
Australia
It was Friday night, I'm currently in Taiwan having a month break. After suffering from a mild cold for the past week, I decided to go check out a local bar that my mate works at.

I arrived at the bar at 9pm, walked in and notice this girl sitting by herself in front of the bar table, swiping her phone whilst she sips her red wine.

Since I'm not that experience I wanted to try some things and see how this interaction will go.

I gently tapped her shoulder, asking her if the seat next to her is taken or not. She quickly looked at me and said no dismissively, then went back swiping her phone. No matter, I sat down and grabbed a bottle of Belgium beer, recommended by the bartender. I tried to start small talk with the bartenders (2 girls) and they were dismissive, just nodding and answering my questions with yes/no. Oh well, I guess these people aren't open to have random small talks.

After 5 minutes, I gently tapped the girl next to me again this was roughly the conversation.
(Note, conversation was in Chinese Mandarin)

Me: do you always come to the bar by yourself?
*She looks at me, smiles and turns around*
Girl: No, I'm only here by myself tonight because I want to get a quick drink.

Me: It seems like girls tend to lean towards wine in general. Do you like drinking wine?

Girl: Not really, I'm chose this drink because my period is close.
*This caught me off guard, wasn't expecting this response.*

For the next 10 minutes we vibed and I deep dived her in regard about her job and her ambitions. Just your basic getting to know you type of things. (@Chase shout out to your deep dive article, really elevated my conversation skills). There were some mild flirting and plenty of touch from my end.
(I noticed that when I'm at a bar or a nightclub, I tend to gently tap girls shoulders and slowly lean towards them whilst gently touching their upper back. They seem to not mind it.)
I also used the "bored look" and looked away which prompted her to ask me questions.

(Since I'm from Australia, the locals generally gets very excited. This is definitely an advantage.)
*I realised that she's definitely heavily invested into me, asking me questions. Laughing, smiling and occasionally hitting me gently. I'm not gonna lie I feel like a fucking god, just being able to control and attract a girl.*

Now this is where things gets funny. She said that she's actually waiting for her friend; As she was saying this to me, I interrupted and said, "Your hair is so fucking cute." I gently patted her head whilst making this comment. The friend walks in and saw me doing this was visibly displeased.You should've seen his face when he saw me, it was absolutely fucking priceless. Legit he was not expecting another guy stealing his girl. I shaked his hand and introduced myself, I then turned back to the girl and our conversation ensues. At this point she's still heavily invested in me as her full body was facing towards me. Honestly, I feel bad for the guy. So I decided to ask for her insta and took a selfie with her where our face literally was touching each other. I told her that I'm going to go chill with my mates outside
(bartender later told me that my mate is smoking outside).

Now whilst chilling with my mates outside we actually texted each other back and forth.

Me: kiss emoji
Girl: ❤️
Me: is he boring you out? :p
Me: You know it sucks that you're working tomorrow. I really want to get to know you, cause you're so cool. Let's meet up at a bar on Sunday
Girl: haha thank you
Girl: he's like a little brother to me

This was basically it, followed by some mild flirting.

Fast forward, Saturday night. She asked me what I'm doing tonight. I told her I'm just chilling at home recovering. (due to me chilling with my boys till 5 am in the morning. I was absolutely hammered.)
This was the conversation on instagram

Girl: are you going back to the bar?
Me: probably not, where are you?
Girl: oh I'm just about to head home. Probably going to watch netflix.
Girl: popcorn emote
Me: (she liked this response)

Now this is where I think I fucked up. She definitely wanted to do something with me but I gently dismissed her which probably pissed her off. This is where I thought about Chases' article about attraction having an expiry date. Regardless we're meeting tomorrow night (haven't set an exact time yet), so I'm not too fussed about it.

Sunday morning I messaged her.

Me: hey meet you at the bar at 9pm
Girl: it sucks that it's raining tonight :(
Me: Hey, are you trying to take me home? I knew it! :p you were only after my good looks and organs from the starts.
Girl: No
Girl: what are you talking about? *Laughing emoji*

Okay so the reaction wasn't necessarily bad nor was it good. I was trying to take a risk (chase mentioned the importance of taking risks, going for the win and not playing too safe)
I interpreted the raining comment as her trying to hint me something, but I guess my read was wrong and it backfired.
Now for everyone out there, would you say that this move is somewhat uncalibrated? My thought is that the attraction has expired and she found the comment offensive? Had I made something happen the night prior, things may have happened?

I later tried to reschedule the date at a later time, but she mentioned that she doesn't want to come because it's raining.

Monday (today), I messaged her and said. It was a pleasure meeting you. She responded warmly and that's it. I later found out that she blocked me lol

Not going to lie, I felt semi sad for a bit. My emotions were playing with me and it felt very weird, just this strong melancholy overflowing in me.

Anyways this was a good experience. I'm open for criticisms, but this is definitely a start to my seduction journey.

-Sky
P.S written on mobile so excuse the bad writing. :p
 
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Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
607
Location
With yo girl...
Don't tap girl on the shoulder just open them over the shoulder with your back to the bar. Dont sit next to her unless it's the only seat open and talk by moving your head towards her way when shes talking. Bored look is good. Aloof body language should follow not you leaning over to hear what they are saying unless both of you are standing close. If she can't hear you because it's loud motion over your ear and have her lean over to you and get close then you can put your hands on her back and start kinoing.

A girl by herself at a bar is out looking for dick so heads up (lol) next time. Your window was when she mentioned Netflix. Plenty of ways to get invited over like:
"got any booze over at yo place I'm dry"
"great let's catch on show on there"
"Lets Netflix and chill (bolder, direct route I'd say 70-30 not working but go big or go home".

She probably blocked you because you didn't move fast enough for her and were behaving like a fan and not a secret lover she could've gotten dick from on the side. Or she has bf and doesn't want u hit to her up constantly and showing up on her dm's for everyone to see. I wouldn't worry about it. Go out and get new leads. Lesson learned. As for her not wanting to go out on a rainy day, sometimes it can be a valid excuse. It definitely reads that way here but I'm not you so...
 
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HeartRipper

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
31
Since I'm not that experience I wanted to try some things and see how this interaction will go.
This is definitely good. Any experience is good for reference experiences. The better your game becomes, the more you will look at these interactions and plainly see how you fucked up. And you will be happy you did 'em.

Couple of points:
I gently tapped her shoulder, asking her if the seat next to her is taken or not. She quickly looked at me and said no dismissively, then went back swiping her phone.
Generally stay away from asking for permission. This is what every unskilled man out there does. Just sit and then ask her if she is expecting to be joined by someone. If she says yes, then you will know how much time you have to make things happen.

I tried to start small talk with the bartenders (2 girls) and they were dismissive, just nodding and answering my questions with yes/no.
This would've been a great idea if these are people that you personally knew, as that would work well in your favor for social proof. However, you took a risk and this girl saw you failing socially, which was not good for you.
I generally would've preferred that you kept it going with the girl immediately after you sat down. You let her not-so-positive reaction knock you off. After sitting, you could've introduced yourself, shook her hand and start with the wine talk from there.
After 5 minutes,
Otherwise, waiting another 5 minutes was a bad idea. It signals nervousness, indecisiveness and overthinking.

I also used the "bored look" and looked away which prompted her to ask me questions.
This was good. A girl asking you questions is (almost) always a good sign. An uninterested girl usually doesn't want to know.

As she was saying this to me, I interrupted and said, "Your hair is so fucking cute." I gently patted her head whilst making this comment.
Good excuse to escalate touch. The verbal comment could be better though. See Tony D's comment on plain verbal openings. Works well in interactions too. Rather than a plain comment on her hair where she just smiles and says "thanks", be more artful with it (Hank Moody style;)).
Something like:
HR: Your hair's so soft (as you touch and stroke it lightly), I wonder how much time you spent with your comb and mirror before you came here."
Then rather than a simple "hahaha, thanks", she can instead respond with something like:
Her: Hahaha. Not that much actually.
And boom; you have a better interaction on your hands just like that.

The friend walks in and saw me doing this was visibly displeased.
I think you could've handled the assessment of the situation better. You don't want to be unexpectedly interrupted by a friend of hers. Instead, like i mentioned, you should've asked her if she was going to be joined by someone soon. It was also important to let her know what you were about. Tell her you were going to meet your buddies in a few. This helps in 2 ways:
One, she gets to know how long she has with you, and know that you had a life going on before you came to meet her and that you will have one after you have separated from the interaction.
Two, you have seeded your exit, so that when the situation demands that the interaction ends, like when the friend came over, you have a plausible excuse, rather than a simple, "well, I guess I need to leave now."

I shaked his hand and introduced myself
Read Chase's post on breaking circle. Let the guy hang there for a few minutes without interrupting the vibe between you too. If breaking circle, let the girl do it, not you.

So I decided to ask for her insta and took a selfie with her where our face literally was touching each other.
Take her number. It is more solid. And I have mixed feelings with taking selfies. Comes off as try-hard. Unless she is the one that asked to do so. I simply do not imagine this as being something that a sexy man that girls drip for and are dying to meet again would do.

Me: is he boring you out? :p
Attacking the other man is just lame and displays low-value. Stay away from bad-mouthing the other party, as this could have been someone important to her (she has known him longer than you). It could've been her brother. Do not simply assume he was the boyfriend. And even if he was, simply ignore it and don't bring it up. Otherwise, you risk looking insecure.

This was basically it, followed by some mild flirting.

Fast forward, Saturday night. She asked me what I'm doing tonight. I told her I'm just chilling at home recovering. (due to me chilling with my boys till 5 am in the morning. I was absolutely hammered.)
This was the conversation on instagram

Girl: are you going back to the bar?
Me: probably not, where are you?
Girl: oh I'm just about to head home. Probably going to watch netflix.
Girl: popcorn emote
Me: (she liked this response)
The reason you get contact information is to set up a meet and some minor maintenance. Otherwise, I have been a long fan of texting and I can attest: avoid much texting when you can. You are more prone to misinterpretation and fuck-ups over texts that you cannot quickly fix, unlike in real time interaction.
When she asked you what you were doing tonight, after telling her you were recovering, you could've turned around and asked her what she was doing tonight. Calculate the logistics and figure out (with her) how you could meet. Probably not that very night as it was not good for you, but set another day there and then. Read this post by Chase about Moving Fast.
Your leading through the whole thing (after you separated) was a bit off. It is your job to figure out logistics and make it as easy as possible for the girl to meet and sleep with you.

Me: Hey, are you trying to take me home? I knew it! :p you were only after my good looks and organs from the starts.
This was good but severely uncalibrated. It will become better with practice anyway.

Overall, this was great for reference experiences.

I know this was long, so some major takeaways:
  1. Do not wait 5 minutes to engage. Do so quickly.
  2. Do not be thrown off by the girl's not-so-inviting response and swiping. Introduce yourself and keep engaging.
  3. Find out her situation (for logistics) early, so that you know how much time you have.
  4. Do not break circle. Let her do it if she has to.
  5. Avoid trash-talking the other guy as he could be someone important in her life. It also doesn't help your seduction in any way.
  6. Get her number. That way you can text and call her. Unlike the gram.
  7. Lead heavily and make it easy for her to meet with you and get laid.
  8. MOVE FAST!!!
 
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Sky

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
25
Location
Australia
This is definitely good. Any experience is good for reference experiences. The better your game becomes, the more you will look at these interactions and plainly see how you fucked up. And you will be happy you did 'em.

Couple of points:

Generally stay away from asking for permission. This is what every unskilled man out there does. Just sit and then ask her if she is expecting to be joined by someone. If she says yes, then you will know how much time you have to make things happen.


This would've been a great idea if these are people that you personally knew, as that would work well in your favor for social proof. However, you took a risk and this girl saw you failing socially, which was not good for you.
I generally would've preferred that you kept it going with the girl immediately after you sat down. You let her not-so-positive reaction knock you off. After sitting, you could've introduced yourself, shook her hand and start with the wine talk from there.

Otherwise, waiting another 5 minutes was a bad idea. It signals nervousness, indecisiveness and overthinking.


This was good. A girl asking you questions is (almost) always a good sign. An uninterested girl usually doesn't want to know.


Good excuse to escalate touch. The verbal comment could be better though. See Tony D's comment on plain verbal openings. Works well in interactions too. Rather than a plain comment on her hair where she just smiles and says "thanks", be more artful with it (Hank Moody style;)).
Something like:

Then rather than a simple "hahaha, thanks", she can instead respond with something like:

And boom; you have a better interaction on your hands just like that.


I think you could've handled the assessment of the situation better. You don't want to be unexpectedly interrupted by a friend of hers. Instead, like i mentioned, you should've asked her if she was going to be joined by someone soon. It was also important to let her know what you were about. Tell her you were going to meet your buddies in a few. This helps in 2 ways:
One, she gets to know how long she has with you, and know that you had a life going on before you came to meet her and that you will have one after you have separated from the interaction.
Two, you have seeded your exit, so that when the situation demands that the interaction ends, like when the friend came over, you have a plausible excuse, rather than a simple, "well, I guess I need to leave now."


Read Chase's post on breaking circle. Let the guy hang there for a few minutes without interrupting the vibe between you too. If breaking circle, let the girl do it, not you.


Take her number. It is more solid. And I have mixed feelings with taking selfies. Comes off as try-hard. Unless she is the one that asked to do so. I simply do not imagine this as being something that a sexy man that girls drip for and are dying to meet again would do.


Attacking the other man is just lame and displays low-value. Stay away from bad-mouthing the other party, as this could have been someone important to her (she has known him longer than you). It could've been her brother. Do not simply assume he was the boyfriend. And even if he was, simply ignore it and don't bring it up. Otherwise, you risk looking insecure.


The reason you get contact information is to set up a meet and some minor maintenance. Otherwise, I have been a long fan of texting and I can attest: avoid much texting when you can. You are more prone to misinterpretation and fuck-ups over texts that you cannot quickly fix, unlike in real time interaction.
When she asked you what you were doing tonight, after telling her you were recovering, you could've turned around and asked her what she was doing tonight. Calculate the logistics and figure out (with her) how you could meet. Probably not that very night as it was not good for you, but set another day there and then. Read this post by Chase about Moving Fast.
Your leading through the whole thing (after you separated) was a bit off. It is your job to figure out logistics and make it as easy as possible for the girl to meet and sleep with you.


This was good but severely uncalibrated. It will become better with practice anyway.

Overall, this was great for reference experiences.

I know this was long, so some major takeaways:
  1. Do not wait 5 minutes to engage. Do so quickly.
  2. Do not be thrown off by the girl's not-so-inviting response and swiping. Introduce yourself and keep engaging.
  3. Find out her situation (for logistics) early, so that you know how much time you have.
  4. Do not break circle. Let her do it if she has to.
  5. Avoid trash-talking the other guy as he could be someone important in her life. It also doesn't help your seduction in any way.
  6. Get her number. That way you can text and call her. Unlike the gram.
  7. Lead heavily and make it easy for her to meet with you and get laid.
  8. MOVE FAST!!!

Appreciate your feedback mate. Very insightful.
Sky
 
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