wasn't sure to post this but seeing as the latest GC article is on the same subject ....
well, i've been quite successful 'shitting where i eat' i've been with a few of the hottest girls i work with. a couple in their early 20s and a girl i'm seeing presently who is a beautiful 30 year-old (i'm older). it's worked out quite well for me. none know about the others (i believe).
one of the younger girls, i think i broke her heart, which of course i'm non-too proud of. although i told her repeatedly that she couldn't be my girlfriend, i did too many datey type things with her. frisbee in the park, holding hands, etc and my actions were not congruent with my words. she is a lovely, sweet girl and very pretty, too. i very much regret this and this has probably led me to being the opposite with the other girls. they don't seem to mind. they are definitely under no illusions as to what's going on. on the other hand i now feel like a cold hearted, unfeeling rock. and while i know it's for the best, i'm having a hard time developing a connection with anyone at all. a connection for my sake. i've had plenty of fuck buddies in the past, but i always felt close to them, still. even though it was just casual relationships, i still liked them as people.
the 30yo, in particular, is awesome. beautiful, sexy and smart. my younger self would be falling in love with her by now, but i feel nothing. i don't know what happened to my feelings. anyway, i'm rambling now ...
there's another girl. i think most men would agree she's cute but she's not as beautiful as the others. but i've always had kind of odd taste and she's just the one i want. let's call her eyelashes. it's been at least 18 months - 2 years we've been colleagues but the type of colleague i never really get the chance to talk to. AFAIK she's ~24.
there've been a few incidental things which might be misconstrued as IOIs. eg, i'm walking down a corridor, she comes out of a side door, sees me, says 'hi, LC' puts her arm through mine and walks along with me making small talk. some other things, i can't remember.
so last week, i'm all hopped up on caffeine and phenibut (google it. i'll be happy to share my experiences, also. just ask) and i decide to force an interaction with eylashes. i go into where she's working, talk some bullshit, ask her about her relationship ( kinda recent breakup) and ask her what she's up to and basically ask her out that night. she has to get up early next day (it's true, she already said previously) and declines. i'm cool with it, like everything. i say, 'well maybe you'll change your mind ...'
when i'm leaving work, i'm outside the main door, and she comes out. i call her back, ask her if she changed her mind, (no) so i pull out my phone and tell her to give me her number; again, in case she changes her mind. she inputs her number and i let her go.
next day, i add her, via her number, to my [ whatsapp-style comms app ] but she doesn't accept. even a week later still nothing.
now, this is obv a dead set. going nowhere. i can see that. but, another thing is, there's a guy. let's call him muscles. i often see him talking to eyelashes, but he's a real friendly guy, he talks to all the girls. not sure but it seems they may be together. difficult to tell. in a round-about way i've tried to weasel info before proceeding but hit a brick wall.
i'm older. and although i may have a certain respect, i'm clearly not part of the clique of the younger guys so i don't receive any of their gossip. this is mostly conscious on my behalf. i can't be bothered with most of the crap they talk about. so i just stay on the fringes.
anyway, this is the problem. if eyelashes is with muscles then she will no-doubt have told him about my indecent proposal, as well as told all of her other friends and colleagues. i think i might have gone a bridge too far. am i now a secret laughing stock? is there a way to salvage this? i don't want her to feel 'awkward' every time she sees me. personally, i feel nothing. don't really care at all but have to respect her feelings.
i plan to do this:
next time i get her alone i'm gonna have a convo something like this
me: i saw your pic on 'whatsapp' ... looks just like you (it's a pic of a cat)
her: bla bla bla giggle
me: noone ever told you you look like a cat?
her: bla bla
me: yeah, but you don't move like a cat. you lack a cat's grace. you're more like a clumsy dinosaur, clumping around in your big boots, bumping into things and dropping stuff (it's true)
her: laugh, bla bla
me: bye!
depending on her responses i might bust her for being rude and not accepting my friend request. 'what kind of a friend are you, anyway!?'
hopefully she will see that i can tease her and diffuse what may be for her a tense situation, and not make a big deal out of it. then the ball's in her court
some thoughts and other things-
-the incidental IOIs could have been genuine but i waited too long and allowed muscles the opportunity to swoop in (i really hardly ever have chance to naturally talk to this girl)
-i'd been trying to perform some preframes earlier in my interactions with this girl. some examples: i ask her something, she replies. i say 'it's ok, i won't tell anyone. i can keep a secret, can you?'
or, i'm talking with another girl colleague who asks me some personal questions and i try to draw eyelashes into the convo, like: 'what do you think eyelashes? that girl was asking me about xxx but i think we shouldn't discuss our private life at work, don't you?'
also, prior to all this she always laughed at my lame-ass jokes and seemed interested in what i said, despite, as i stated, hardly ever having any interactions with me.
tl:dr
macked on a girl at work that i probably shouldn't have. now i'm concerned about my rep at work with my other colleagues and also would like to exercise some damage control.
well, i've been quite successful 'shitting where i eat' i've been with a few of the hottest girls i work with. a couple in their early 20s and a girl i'm seeing presently who is a beautiful 30 year-old (i'm older). it's worked out quite well for me. none know about the others (i believe).
one of the younger girls, i think i broke her heart, which of course i'm non-too proud of. although i told her repeatedly that she couldn't be my girlfriend, i did too many datey type things with her. frisbee in the park, holding hands, etc and my actions were not congruent with my words. she is a lovely, sweet girl and very pretty, too. i very much regret this and this has probably led me to being the opposite with the other girls. they don't seem to mind. they are definitely under no illusions as to what's going on. on the other hand i now feel like a cold hearted, unfeeling rock. and while i know it's for the best, i'm having a hard time developing a connection with anyone at all. a connection for my sake. i've had plenty of fuck buddies in the past, but i always felt close to them, still. even though it was just casual relationships, i still liked them as people.
the 30yo, in particular, is awesome. beautiful, sexy and smart. my younger self would be falling in love with her by now, but i feel nothing. i don't know what happened to my feelings. anyway, i'm rambling now ...
there's another girl. i think most men would agree she's cute but she's not as beautiful as the others. but i've always had kind of odd taste and she's just the one i want. let's call her eyelashes. it's been at least 18 months - 2 years we've been colleagues but the type of colleague i never really get the chance to talk to. AFAIK she's ~24.
there've been a few incidental things which might be misconstrued as IOIs. eg, i'm walking down a corridor, she comes out of a side door, sees me, says 'hi, LC' puts her arm through mine and walks along with me making small talk. some other things, i can't remember.
so last week, i'm all hopped up on caffeine and phenibut (google it. i'll be happy to share my experiences, also. just ask) and i decide to force an interaction with eylashes. i go into where she's working, talk some bullshit, ask her about her relationship ( kinda recent breakup) and ask her what she's up to and basically ask her out that night. she has to get up early next day (it's true, she already said previously) and declines. i'm cool with it, like everything. i say, 'well maybe you'll change your mind ...'
when i'm leaving work, i'm outside the main door, and she comes out. i call her back, ask her if she changed her mind, (no) so i pull out my phone and tell her to give me her number; again, in case she changes her mind. she inputs her number and i let her go.
next day, i add her, via her number, to my [ whatsapp-style comms app ] but she doesn't accept. even a week later still nothing.
now, this is obv a dead set. going nowhere. i can see that. but, another thing is, there's a guy. let's call him muscles. i often see him talking to eyelashes, but he's a real friendly guy, he talks to all the girls. not sure but it seems they may be together. difficult to tell. in a round-about way i've tried to weasel info before proceeding but hit a brick wall.
i'm older. and although i may have a certain respect, i'm clearly not part of the clique of the younger guys so i don't receive any of their gossip. this is mostly conscious on my behalf. i can't be bothered with most of the crap they talk about. so i just stay on the fringes.
anyway, this is the problem. if eyelashes is with muscles then she will no-doubt have told him about my indecent proposal, as well as told all of her other friends and colleagues. i think i might have gone a bridge too far. am i now a secret laughing stock? is there a way to salvage this? i don't want her to feel 'awkward' every time she sees me. personally, i feel nothing. don't really care at all but have to respect her feelings.
i plan to do this:
next time i get her alone i'm gonna have a convo something like this
me: i saw your pic on 'whatsapp' ... looks just like you (it's a pic of a cat)
her: bla bla bla giggle
me: noone ever told you you look like a cat?
her: bla bla
me: yeah, but you don't move like a cat. you lack a cat's grace. you're more like a clumsy dinosaur, clumping around in your big boots, bumping into things and dropping stuff (it's true)
her: laugh, bla bla
me: bye!
depending on her responses i might bust her for being rude and not accepting my friend request. 'what kind of a friend are you, anyway!?'
hopefully she will see that i can tease her and diffuse what may be for her a tense situation, and not make a big deal out of it. then the ball's in her court
some thoughts and other things-
-the incidental IOIs could have been genuine but i waited too long and allowed muscles the opportunity to swoop in (i really hardly ever have chance to naturally talk to this girl)
-i'd been trying to perform some preframes earlier in my interactions with this girl. some examples: i ask her something, she replies. i say 'it's ok, i won't tell anyone. i can keep a secret, can you?'
or, i'm talking with another girl colleague who asks me some personal questions and i try to draw eyelashes into the convo, like: 'what do you think eyelashes? that girl was asking me about xxx but i think we shouldn't discuss our private life at work, don't you?'
also, prior to all this she always laughed at my lame-ass jokes and seemed interested in what i said, despite, as i stated, hardly ever having any interactions with me.
tl:dr
macked on a girl at work that i probably shouldn't have. now i'm concerned about my rep at work with my other colleagues and also would like to exercise some damage control.
