Girl being flakey...what to do?

[Leadoff]

Not sure what to do in this situation. This is a girl I've gone out with 8 or 9 times on and off on a casual basis. I slept with her a few weeks ago for the first time and then a week later we had a bit of a falling out regarding a mis-communication and had no contact for 10 days before having a 1 1/2 hour phone conversation to clear things up where we both agreed we wanted to hang out again...that convo was last Wednesday. On Sunday I texted her at 2:30pm saying I was gonna be in her area that afternoon and asking if she wanted to meet for food or a drink. She replied 4 hours later saying she was out with friends all day, and she was now out with her dog if I wanted to join. I replied 1/2 hour later "you ok to meet at 8?" She replied "probably not tonight". My reply was no worries...sounds like you had a very busy weekend, and she replied "was relatively busy" and "hope you're having a good one" I said yes-very good and she replied "good to hear" and I left it at that. Messaged her today at 5 and said "I'm going to be down there later, want to meet up around 8:30?" Her reply "can try me. Finishing up some work, then heading to the gym. Not sure how late I will be there. Message me when you're down here later and see if timing works for us to connect". I replied "sounds good...can also meet a bit later if you prefer". I message her at 8:15pm "hey x, in the area now...let me know when you're finished". She replied at 9pm and said "hey sorry, I didn't see your message sooner". I replied 5 mins later and said "no problem - I'm still in the area...up for meeting?" She replied right away saying "I am not exactly sure what time I will be done. Don't want to keep you waiting. Perhaps best to plan for another evening". I replied "up to you, do u have a particular evening in mind?" She replied - bc she's moving this weekend she's starting to move things during the week. So prob best to play by ear this week or wait till next week. She sends another message 5 mins later asking where I am now. I reply saying I'm at a gas station nearby where she is. This is at 9:20. She replies at 10:45 saying "just finishing up now". I reply at 11:30 and say give me a call. She didn't call or reply after that.

Any thoughts here? She was flakey like this previously and I stopped texting her and she started chasing me...saying she missed me and when can we meet up etc. I'm sure she'll reply tomorrow sometime saying she fell asleep or some other lame excuse. Weird that she would ask "where are you now?" and then not reply for over an hour. All I can think is that she made plans with another guy and wanted to make sure I wasn't at the place they were going and could only respond when she went to the washroom so as not to text in front of the guy. I suspected she did this a couple of times when we were out. Anyhow, any suggestions as to what to say, text her back? I do really like this girl. She's pretty hot, so I'm sure has a lot of guys after her.

Thanks!

 

[ray_zorse]

Ahem, well firstly, read the site, what is taught here is not how to get a particular girl or how to correct past mistakes but rather how to meet more girls and proceed smoothly to sex, preferably on the first or second meeting.

You shouldn't be dating 7~8 times before getting sex, either you didn't make your move or she's jerking you around and controlling you. Same with the texting, you've been totally compliant and allowed her to hold leverage on you by not committing to a plan, if this happens you just say no thanks... and maybe try again later but only on your terms. Never go on date that she sets up cos it means in this case she isn't making time for you and is trying to multitask you into her routine.

The dynamic of the 7~8 dates and the text conversation is that you are chasing. Hard. It cannot be fixed now. Delete her number. Then read the site and work on getting to the stage of approaching new women.

cheers, Ray

 

[Leadoff]

Ray -thanks. I had been in a few longer term relationships prior to this girl and definitely realize I made lots of mistakes with her. I didn't find this site until I had already been on most of those dates I mentioned at which point she tried to friend zone me. I took the advice in "how to get a girl back" from here - basically stopped texting her and when I did reply to her it was at least a day later and very short texts for about 3 weeks. Worked like a charm as she began chasing me telling me she missed me and asking when we could meet up -I also cancelled on her a couple of times for trying to push back our meet times. The next (and last time) I went out with her, took her to her place and bedded her - lots of resistance getting her home (advice on here to combat that worked great also)... once at her place was very easy. Had the falling out less than a week later...she was very upset with me which was stupid, so I made no contact with her for 10 days at which point I called her and left a message and she.called me back shortly after, and we agreed we both still wanted to hang out. So was just wondering if there was a best course of action in this case since the advice on here worked so well before.

Having said that, I've been applying techniques on here with new girls which have been a huge improvement! One girl on the 1st date and the other on the 2nd date. Still doing my best to learn, so appreciate all the advice! Thanks again.

 

[Smith]

It does sound like she puts you on the back burner and tries to make you chase. She might already be seeing some other guys during that 10 days when u guys had a fall out, so I think it would be best to just not contact her until she contacts you and wants to meet up with you. Just do what you did before. If she does contact you but makes u wait again with flakey response, don't reply. Make other plans. Even better if you go on dates with other girls.

Good luck man!

- Smith