There’s a girl I got to know about a month ago on a hike to the nearby hills (public event). We spoke a lot that day but initially I only thought „cute girl, maybe we could have a casual hookup” and left it at that, didn’t really care. She then started chatting me up on Messenger to say hi, ask how my day was, what I’ll be doing in the evening, sending me pics etc. This slowly got me more interested. We met 2 times in 2 weeks but no kissing. Honestly, I didn’t think of it as dating at this point, but would have loved to have sex with her. Then she asked if I’d go visit the neighboring country with her over the weekend (we live in Europe). I had no clue what her intentions were (she travels there once a month anyway and maybe just didn’t want to go alone) but said „Sure” and we went. On that Saturday night we ended up in a club drunk and I kissed her. Things escalated and turned into us sleeping together in our Airbnb, having sex the next morning as well, then spending the Sunday walking around town while holding hands all day and kissing. It was a great weekend and kind of changed things in me about her. After this I thought I would like to date, and assumed we’d start doing just that.
The next day I told her via chat I felt really good with her on the weekend, her response was along the lines of „yes, it was quite eventful”. I asked if she wanted to come over to my place, have some wine, even sleep there with me and I’ll take her to work the next morning. She said she’s still tired from the weekend, but another time she’d love to. A day later I told her we should meet somewere, she initially said she wasn’t sure what her evening program would be, then later said sorry, she’s meeting a friend she hasn’t seen in a while. For a couple days, I would send her a kisses smiley daily and say „Goodnight” at the end of the day and she responded with the same thing. But we didn’t manage to meet.
After a few days she went on another trip for a week, this time with a girlfriend. Initially she did send a lot of photos from her trip, but later I felt like she started being less available. She came back mid last week. Since then, I asked her out 2-3 times and she finally did agree to meet last Sunday, but fell sick before we could meet. We do exchange messages every day, but less than what it was initially (just a few a day, there was never a ton of chatting) and now it’s always me who initiates. She does still occasionally ask questions, though. It’s been two times now that it took her up to a day to respond, despite reading my message within 1-2 hours. I told myself this could be due to her being off sick. Her responses are not short and she does use smileys.
I’ve been very confused in the past weeks and have no clue how I should approach this. It could be that post-sex holding hands and kissing (the entire day), especially when traveling to a different country is normal for some people and she doesn’t want anything but a friendship, or be friends with benefits? Or she takes things slow when it comes to dating and I scared her away by acting too needy? In hindsight, I may have been impatient, probably read too much into that weekend and acted needier than I should have. Or maybe she met someone else...?
I’m now wondering if I can still save this. I would like to date her and not just be friends. I thought about not messaging her for a couple days and then ’returning’ in a non-needy way, or not wait but tone it down a bit, become less available myself. I also thought about asking honestly and directly if she was interested in dating for real, but maybe that would turn her off even more? I’m really impatient to find out, though. I stopped online dating a couple weeks ago and if I knew she didn’t want anything serious, I would move on, but don’t want to chat up other girls until I figure this out.
I haven’t read this page for a while so it could be that I’m a bit „rusty”
The next day I told her via chat I felt really good with her on the weekend, her response was along the lines of „yes, it was quite eventful”. I asked if she wanted to come over to my place, have some wine, even sleep there with me and I’ll take her to work the next morning. She said she’s still tired from the weekend, but another time she’d love to. A day later I told her we should meet somewere, she initially said she wasn’t sure what her evening program would be, then later said sorry, she’s meeting a friend she hasn’t seen in a while. For a couple days, I would send her a kisses smiley daily and say „Goodnight” at the end of the day and she responded with the same thing. But we didn’t manage to meet.
After a few days she went on another trip for a week, this time with a girlfriend. Initially she did send a lot of photos from her trip, but later I felt like she started being less available. She came back mid last week. Since then, I asked her out 2-3 times and she finally did agree to meet last Sunday, but fell sick before we could meet. We do exchange messages every day, but less than what it was initially (just a few a day, there was never a ton of chatting) and now it’s always me who initiates. She does still occasionally ask questions, though. It’s been two times now that it took her up to a day to respond, despite reading my message within 1-2 hours. I told myself this could be due to her being off sick. Her responses are not short and she does use smileys.
I’ve been very confused in the past weeks and have no clue how I should approach this. It could be that post-sex holding hands and kissing (the entire day), especially when traveling to a different country is normal for some people and she doesn’t want anything but a friendship, or be friends with benefits? Or she takes things slow when it comes to dating and I scared her away by acting too needy? In hindsight, I may have been impatient, probably read too much into that weekend and acted needier than I should have. Or maybe she met someone else...?
I’m now wondering if I can still save this. I would like to date her and not just be friends. I thought about not messaging her for a couple days and then ’returning’ in a non-needy way, or not wait but tone it down a bit, become less available myself. I also thought about asking honestly and directly if she was interested in dating for real, but maybe that would turn her off even more? I’m really impatient to find out, though. I stopped online dating a couple weeks ago and if I knew she didn’t want anything serious, I would move on, but don’t want to chat up other girls until I figure this out.
I haven’t read this page for a while so it could be that I’m a bit „rusty”