Girl got out of 11 years relationship

[nolimits]

Hey Guys,

I happened to fuck for about 4 times now a girl who just got out of a 11 years relationship.

Between me and the end of her relationship she’s fucked 3-4 guys.

then she met me and i feel like we have a good feeling (even though I make way more money than she does and am overall more ambitious - but this can be dealt with through communication and encouragement )

My question for you is : am I wasting my time in hoping I’ll convert her to a long time girlfriend? ( because she needs a lot of
time spent being single? )

or are we still in the game ?

Not sure what it’s worth but the girl is really into me when we’re together although of course has mentioned to me that she longs for some freedom ( post relationship backward rationalization )

Funny enough these freedom references seem to go down along with the number of times i meet up with her.

According to common sense I should simply let her go.

But a part of me is like : girl gets out of a 11 years relationship, she is 27 and stumbles onto a fucking rarely high quality man.

I know she wants kids because she told me so we ain’t talking bout a party girl here

Is she really going to be like : let me spend another 3 years single and ditch this guy ?

or is she more likely going to be like : alright I thought I longed for total freedom. But this guy is fucking cool. let’s take it slowly and see how it goes

In other words - can you convert a girl who just got out a 11 years relationship
to a girlfriend?

Am asking because chase has never mentioned a dynamic like this one as a red flag so maybe conversion is still doable.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

TLDR: No you aren't wasting your time but for you to pull this off, you need to be chill and let her fall for you over time.

Long version:

@nolimits I'm noticing a pattern in your posts where you seem eager to get into a relationship.

E.g. 3-month relationship & why isn't she chasing etc.

There's nothing wrong with that but you need to manage your emotions to not come across too keen as that will push women away.

This is important because If you like healthy relationships where you take the lead (looking at your posts you do) then

you want the girl to chase the relationship not you.

Coming back to your post:

am I wasting my time in hoping I’ll convert her to a long time girlfriend? ( because she needs a lot of
time spent being single? )

No, you aren't wasting your time you just have to be intentional with your approach. A girl out of a relationship doesn't want to feel "restricted" so you basically just give her a fun time, keep things "light" then let her catch feelings and try to pull you in.

If you go too heavy with relationship vibes you'll scare her off as she thinks she wants to be "single" after a 11 year relationship.

Assuming you do things right, she'll want a relationship with you but it requires composure and acceptance there's no guarantees.

According to common sense I should simply let her go.

Incorrect - it's not black or white of becomes my girlfriend or she's a stranger. There's a whole in-between of FB, MLTR etc.

Also, I think you should re-consider how soon you're willing to make a girl your GF especially because you've:

happened to fuck for about 4 times now

You don't know her. Personally I think 6 months minimum is needed to vet a girl (I know guy who've done as much as 3 years lol)

Anyone can play a role for a short amount of time.

 

[Warped Mindless]

I’m less concerned about her and more about you.

Fucked her four times in what… a couple weeks and already you are dreaming about a long term relationship?

your frame right now seems to be all about her.

What I would do?

Keep fucking her on the side, as well as any other girl I want to, and focus on my mission and not care what she’s out doing as long as she’s not dramatic and makes me happy when she’s with me.

Evenyaully she will likely ask you about being exclusive. That’s when you can decide if you really want an exclusive relationship with her.