- Joined
- Dec 1, 2013
- Messages
- 38
TL;DR: I went on a date last night with my future roommate. As you can imagine, it didn't go as well as I expected.
The story: one of my other roomies is leaving & needs a subletter, she met this girl (call her Anna) through work (we all are in the same company, different divisions tho). Anna came to visit & check out our apartment, and right away I felt strongly attracted to her, and I felt what I thought was a flirty/receptive vibe from her, although I may have been mistaken. Later I ran into her at a social function from work, and we had a very dynamic conversation. (I still haven't made my intentions clear though.) She had complained that she didn't know too many good bars in town, so I suggested taking her to a couple next weekend, she agreed and asked for my number. We ended on a good note, and I left.
At the bar, we had a good conversation again, but I didn't dive terribly deep, and I also didn't chase frame. I did mention sexual/racy things (I told a story about a secret admirer I had, and about making out with a girl who was engaged), but nothing to build tension between us. I'm too afraid to do it, it seems so forward to me. I did also get a bit of kino: touching her arm, laying my hand briefly on her leg (she flinched once when I left my hand too long though), hand on her back as we were walking to next bar. After the second bar, I said I was done drinking but still wanted to hang out, why don't we get tea at my place? (This is a pretty reliable pull for me.) It worked, so we went to the apt. I got her to my room to see some pictures. I occupied the only chair, so she stood for a couple minutes, and then I hopped over to the bed and beconned her to sit next to me, but she just kinda leaned against the bed, and I could tell things were not going to spec. I thought perhaps she didn't want us to be seen (although another roomie knew we came in together), so I closed the door, and then she got pretty nervous. I kept bantering, then leaned in for a kiss, but she dodged it, and came up with an excuse to leave. I tried once again at the door, no dice.
I texted her after, saying I had a good time and I hope she made it home safely. Next morning, she said she did have a good time, but she also wanted to make sure I didn't have the wrong impression, that she had a b.f. I thought to myself, "BS, she's just nervous about the situation, and I was kinda clumsy." So I replied "no worries, I like to experiment a bit when I've had a few drinks. glad you had fun!" She responded "haha, I think that happens to most people!"
I went out on a limb with this one, because I thought maybe I could salvage things by putting myself in a more sexual light: "That's a bit of an understatement for me, actually. Just ask Julia..." (*Julia is another roommate, we used to make out drunk after the bars, even when I had a g.f.)
Anna replies: "haha, now I'm intrigued!"
So, moral of the story, I am still too timid to really launch into sexual innuendo and build some tension and frame things in that light, so I keep coming across as either a boyfriend or friend, and then (younger) girls are surprised when I got for a kiss. Guys, any tips for wrangling up the cajones to plunge into the sexual tension? I feel like my own frame needs some bending before I can bend hers.
The story: one of my other roomies is leaving & needs a subletter, she met this girl (call her Anna) through work (we all are in the same company, different divisions tho). Anna came to visit & check out our apartment, and right away I felt strongly attracted to her, and I felt what I thought was a flirty/receptive vibe from her, although I may have been mistaken. Later I ran into her at a social function from work, and we had a very dynamic conversation. (I still haven't made my intentions clear though.) She had complained that she didn't know too many good bars in town, so I suggested taking her to a couple next weekend, she agreed and asked for my number. We ended on a good note, and I left.
At the bar, we had a good conversation again, but I didn't dive terribly deep, and I also didn't chase frame. I did mention sexual/racy things (I told a story about a secret admirer I had, and about making out with a girl who was engaged), but nothing to build tension between us. I'm too afraid to do it, it seems so forward to me. I did also get a bit of kino: touching her arm, laying my hand briefly on her leg (she flinched once when I left my hand too long though), hand on her back as we were walking to next bar. After the second bar, I said I was done drinking but still wanted to hang out, why don't we get tea at my place? (This is a pretty reliable pull for me.) It worked, so we went to the apt. I got her to my room to see some pictures. I occupied the only chair, so she stood for a couple minutes, and then I hopped over to the bed and beconned her to sit next to me, but she just kinda leaned against the bed, and I could tell things were not going to spec. I thought perhaps she didn't want us to be seen (although another roomie knew we came in together), so I closed the door, and then she got pretty nervous. I kept bantering, then leaned in for a kiss, but she dodged it, and came up with an excuse to leave. I tried once again at the door, no dice.
I texted her after, saying I had a good time and I hope she made it home safely. Next morning, she said she did have a good time, but she also wanted to make sure I didn't have the wrong impression, that she had a b.f. I thought to myself, "BS, she's just nervous about the situation, and I was kinda clumsy." So I replied "no worries, I like to experiment a bit when I've had a few drinks. glad you had fun!" She responded "haha, I think that happens to most people!"
I went out on a limb with this one, because I thought maybe I could salvage things by putting myself in a more sexual light: "That's a bit of an understatement for me, actually. Just ask Julia..." (*Julia is another roommate, we used to make out drunk after the bars, even when I had a g.f.)
Anna replies: "haha, now I'm intrigued!"
So, moral of the story, I am still too timid to really launch into sexual innuendo and build some tension and frame things in that light, so I keep coming across as either a boyfriend or friend, and then (younger) girls are surprised when I got for a kiss. Guys, any tips for wrangling up the cajones to plunge into the sexual tension? I feel like my own frame needs some bending before I can bend hers.
