I began dating this girl I met on tinder a year and a half ago. We both hit it off and had so many similarities it was crazy. We exchanged numbers at which point she told me that she had depression. Never having been in a relationship with someone depressed I thought i could handle it. In the beginning things were pretty great, outside of the fact that we lived an hour apart we saw each other 1-3 times a week she made me happy and I soon thought this girl would be someone I would marry she'd even talk about future kids with me and it made me extremely happy.
Then about 6 months in is when we started to have our first issues. I stayed over at her house and slept over in her room and noticed a picture of her and her ex there. I was furious and nearly walked out but stayed anyways, i found out that she was pregnant at one point during there two year relationship and its why she cant get over him. I stayed and helped her get over her ex. Things were still ok after this, however she was very selfish. Whatever she wanted I did for her .I praised her because nobody in her family did and she wanted it, I called her pretty everyday because nobody else did, i told her I loved her daily but none of my needs were ever met. Fast forward to when she transferred to UCI and thats when our relationship truly fell apart. She started going out more made more friends because she had always been awful at making girl friends but could make guy friends (she dropped all her guy friends once we started dating) and she began talking and acting different.
We began seeing each other less and less shes horrible with stress due to her depression but being on a quarter system made her extremely stressed. We saw each other 2-3 weeks at a time. Then came my birthday and....welll....she forgot. She thought my birthday was the day we were celebrating it which was the 7th instead of the 6th her excuse was that if my birthday was on the actual day she'd remember and that she was busy with quizzes and tests. No text no nothing and again I was furious we had already spent a birthday together before. I called her on her birthday made it extremely special and she forgot mine which mind you, is only a week or two later. It caused a huge argument in which she said, sobbing, I always get mad over everything and that I'm never happy she felt that we werent right anymore because we were changing and because of the distance. She was scared that i'd hate her eventually and told me that i deserve better, she said that once she gets over her depression she could support me like I do her but until then she was just using me as a crutch. So she broke up with me over text, on my birthday. i couldnt handle it and i texted her so we got back together but I was bitter and she was growing more and more distant. Before I knew it she only texted me when she needed someone to vent to or complain too. We talked about it again and she said I feel like more of a friend now than a bf cuz she doesnt see me often when just a few days ago she told me she loved me, I decided to end it.
Now after reading these forums I caught so many things I let go such as the fact that she always wanted a college experience, friends to go out with etc. I just assumed that wasnt her thing but found out later that it was only because she couldnt make friends. Is there anything else I missed? I'm still emotionally invested so while in a clear state of mind I told everybody I know not to let me go back to her unless at the very least shes no longer depressed or harbors negativity towards the world. Regardless I havent contacted her and im trying my best to stay away. What advice can any of you offer to me to take away from all this so that I can find the right girl in the future? Especially because I dread parties and most social events, I'm introverted and rather be around a few people or alone. This site is awesome by the way! I'm learning so much, ok done talking now haha.
Then about 6 months in is when we started to have our first issues. I stayed over at her house and slept over in her room and noticed a picture of her and her ex there. I was furious and nearly walked out but stayed anyways, i found out that she was pregnant at one point during there two year relationship and its why she cant get over him. I stayed and helped her get over her ex. Things were still ok after this, however she was very selfish. Whatever she wanted I did for her .I praised her because nobody in her family did and she wanted it, I called her pretty everyday because nobody else did, i told her I loved her daily but none of my needs were ever met. Fast forward to when she transferred to UCI and thats when our relationship truly fell apart. She started going out more made more friends because she had always been awful at making girl friends but could make guy friends (she dropped all her guy friends once we started dating) and she began talking and acting different.
We began seeing each other less and less shes horrible with stress due to her depression but being on a quarter system made her extremely stressed. We saw each other 2-3 weeks at a time. Then came my birthday and....welll....she forgot. She thought my birthday was the day we were celebrating it which was the 7th instead of the 6th her excuse was that if my birthday was on the actual day she'd remember and that she was busy with quizzes and tests. No text no nothing and again I was furious we had already spent a birthday together before. I called her on her birthday made it extremely special and she forgot mine which mind you, is only a week or two later. It caused a huge argument in which she said, sobbing, I always get mad over everything and that I'm never happy she felt that we werent right anymore because we were changing and because of the distance. She was scared that i'd hate her eventually and told me that i deserve better, she said that once she gets over her depression she could support me like I do her but until then she was just using me as a crutch. So she broke up with me over text, on my birthday. i couldnt handle it and i texted her so we got back together but I was bitter and she was growing more and more distant. Before I knew it she only texted me when she needed someone to vent to or complain too. We talked about it again and she said I feel like more of a friend now than a bf cuz she doesnt see me often when just a few days ago she told me she loved me, I decided to end it.
Now after reading these forums I caught so many things I let go such as the fact that she always wanted a college experience, friends to go out with etc. I just assumed that wasnt her thing but found out later that it was only because she couldnt make friends. Is there anything else I missed? I'm still emotionally invested so while in a clear state of mind I told everybody I know not to let me go back to her unless at the very least shes no longer depressed or harbors negativity towards the world. Regardless I havent contacted her and im trying my best to stay away. What advice can any of you offer to me to take away from all this so that I can find the right girl in the future? Especially because I dread parties and most social events, I'm introverted and rather be around a few people or alone. This site is awesome by the way! I'm learning so much, ok done talking now haha.
