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Girl resisting my sex talk?

Ezio

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 28, 2015
Messages
82
http://gyazo.com/d3cca263968d7fbc00f1319543f21aff

Conversation:

Me: I can't understand how people call girls whores.

Her: They call them so because they go with hundred guys and doing everything with them in hotels (implying that they are doing bad things)

Me: But it is nothing. It is their life. Just because she had 100 different boys, doesn't make her a whore.

Her: Well, there where you live it is different, here, if she goes with more than 3 boys, she will be called whore.(I lied her that i live in London, but we live in the same country. The reason i lied her about this is because the girls of my country love to go and live outside our country, maybe for a better life. It works wonders in Facebook. She started responding to me coldly in the begininng, but right after i said i live in London, she was making a lot of investment. I have tried it many times and it always works)

Me: Eh, this is not okay. Sex should be the same for both genders. God put it that way.

Her: However.

Me: By the way, i like a lot girls who don't deny their true nature, but on the other i also understand you because you are like a double edged sword.

Her: Hahaha, what can we do.

Me: Do you know what i want to say with the double-edged sword?

Her: What?

Me: (Here is use the text from this article: http://gyazo.com/d3cca263968d7fbc00f1319543f21aff) Well, on one side, I know that you all love sex – it is a necessity that you do, else our species would die out.
But women still act like they don’t like sex; whenever a man makes a move they hold themselves back; this is because they are afraid of the slut label. I completely understand that; because you, like me, care about your social status.
But it is still so unfair that women can’t express freely their true love for something as beautiful as sex!

Her: However, please change the subject ( I was like "What the fuck?!". I have used it before with other girls and it always worked. They would appreciate me for what i said and even get more interested. But, she just didnt wanna talk about it.

Me: I'm not changing it because right now i'm going to study. See you. (I did not want to submit to her command)

Her: Hahahaha, okay learn.

Me: (Y) = thumbs up emoticon

----------------------------------------

I'm really surprised, in her photos she looked very "bitchy" and sexy, and i thought she would welcome these liberating thoughts of mine about sexuality, but she turns out to be trying to appear conservative. And it always worked with some other girls, even one of them conservative.

But, how should i deal with girls like this? The girls who get defensive and who try to approve the whore/slut label and counter you when you talk about being sexually free.
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
This is a new girl, and you're trying to convince her and change her personal frame, over text. Texting should be lighthearted and fun, and used to set up logistics for a meet.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Ezio

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 28, 2015
Messages
82
Yes, true, but i was trying to create some rapport here. It was the first conversation with her.
And talking about these things and setting the "sexually free" frame early on, i think helps creating the rapport. It has worked before for me.
But this time, it was different. But anyway, you are right.
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
That's not rapport. It's pure logic. Flirting is fine, setting a sexual frame is fine, but you're not going to out-logic a girl over text who you've never met before. And it's a serious enough conversation branch that *I'd* be ditching it and focussing on one of the other people simultaneously texting me.
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
865
Ezio,

Ezio said:
But, how should i deal with girls like this? The girls who get defensive and who try to approve the whore/slut label and counter you when you talk about being sexually free.

I don't really use sex talk, or enjoy philosophical discussions about slut-shaming (though, I did enjoy Alek's article series about this), but I think your biggest problem is in this first text.

Ezio said:
Me: I can't understand how people call girls whores.

This text baits her to give you an explanation and justify why slut-shaming exists. This is bad precedent for your conversation because your now on opposite teams - you, frustrated as if you don't get a certain math problem and you're throwing your hands in the air like "I just don't get it!", and her, the one who has to explain to you as if she were your teacher.

Instead, you want to show that you KNOW why it exists, but explain that it's morally stupid.

Part of this is phrasing it correctly, another part of this is giving sound logical reasoning, and yet another part is getting her to relate.

A great example is Alek's LR in the Sticky page of the Field Report forum. Any of Alek's articles on the Main Page would probably give you a huge hand as well. :)

~Nick
 

WayOfHand

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 12, 2015
Messages
98
You dont create rapport over text. You make logistics happen. No other way around it. Especially true if you havent met.
 
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