Girl said she will kiss if I guess when's her birthday

[Lithuanian]

Hey guys, I have two three questions:

1) I have friends (they are couple, husband and wife). They invited me to an event, where wife will be displaying her made bracelets with her girl friend. They said she doesn't have boyfriend and they promised me to introduce me to her. I'm still begginer and I when I meet girls via friends or in social circle, I tend to behave friendly. Now that I'm reading this site for about four months, I don't want to make this mistake again, therefore I want advice how to approach girl in such situation: should I behave friendly at first or use pick up techniques from the beggining;

2) Similar situation, but this time I'm going for lunch during breaks at work in one food restaurant and one waitress is beatiful, butI go there to eat every day, so I don't want to pick her, because she and I'm going to feel strange. Besides, I don't know how to pick up in such situation. Some advice maybe?

3) I was on a date with a girl and we were talking about birthdays. She said that if I guess when is her birthday, she will kiss me. I said that I won't guess, because I didn't want to be submissive. I don't know if I acted correctly. How one should act in such situation. And is it good to use this same thing on other girls?

 

[Bboy100]

1. Personally, I have no experiance being introduced to girls via friends. It feels like it would create extra pressure for us to get together, even if we're completely wrong for each other. So I personally choose to avoid that scenario...In any case, since you're being introduced via friends, this is more of a social circle type situation. Whereas, most the articles here are geared towards cold approach. What social circle means is that you're allowed to move a little bit slower, and you're generally allowed to make more mistakes. But the girl will also probably be extra conservative because A. She'll assume your BF material from the start since you're being introduced via her friends and B. You have mutual connections, so her reputation is more at stake than it normally would be. As for behavior, I wouldn't change it too much. Just know that she'll be more likely to expect a relationship from you if you go down this path.

2. Yeah, I agree with that one. I prefer not to hookup with girls I consistently have to spend time with/run into. Also, keep in mind that waitresses are paid to act friendly towards you. So until you actually try to physically escalate, it could be difficult to tell if she's just being friendly, or if she's actually into you.

3. This girl clearley wanted to kiss you without coming off as a slut. She was also shit testing you to see if you'd chase her/supplicate. Whether on a conscious or unconscious level, women will often challenge you like this when they're on the fence about whether or not they're attracted to you. The best way to reply to shit tests like this is with honesty and confidence. Assume she wants you and let her know it. I would have said something like "Y'know, if you want to kiss me, you should just do it. There's no need to play games." [With a sly smile]" or "Na, I don't play games. If I want to kiss you, I'll just do it" [Sexy smile]". This shows that you're not phased by the rather unusual statement, and it also shows boldness/non-neediness because you're confident enough to verbally assert your assumption that she likes you (weaker men typically think women would get upset by this type of behavior). Tbh though, almost any response wouldve sufficed. The only response which would've ruined you is by complying (i.e. actually trying to guess her bday). This would kill all intrigue and put you in the position of the pursuer as opposed to the pursued.

This was also her way of telling you that she wants you to kiss her. So shortly after, you probably should've either pulled or kissed her.

If you're being challenged and you're not sure how to reply, you can also choose to ignore her behavior entirely via a very dismissive and uncommital response like "Ok, whatever you say..." or the skeptical/bored looks see:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/bored ... en-engaged
https://www.girlschase.com/content/skeptical-look

 

[ray_zorse]

Bboy100 I'm constantly impressed with your analysis and insights, said it better than I could have, my only point of disagreement is with the waitress, a business that you legitimately frequent is PERFECT for hired gun game, b/c you can get to know her over time and build a lot of comfort and attraction before asking her out, also you don't need to rush things since in the long haul you'll eventually get a private moment to ask her out. She'll also be quite forgiving, since it's hired gun game, she'll just be happy you eventually made a move. So, pull the trigger at the earliest opportunity. Have her write her no. on the receipt, or better still memorize it. Just be discreet.
Ray

 

[Lithuanian]

Thanks @Bboy100, your insights are very helpful as always. But there remains one unanswered question: shoul I use this tactic on other girls, i. e. saying: guess this or that, and I'll kiss you? Or is it bad tactic for guys to use on girls?

 

[Bboy100]

I've personally never done the whole "betting kisses thing"...not my style. But theoretically, its a form of challenging women, so the same rules should apply.

So will have a very polarizing effect. That is to say...If she's already attracted to you, it should cause a spike in attraction. If not, she'll probably be disgusted (this is a good thing, because you'll know to quit wasting your time and move on!). So my answer is yes, if this sounds appealing to you, you should use it.

Some women will melt and attraction will spike as soon as you say this. But some of the more dominant women will challenge you back. So if you say "Hey, if you can guess my favorite food, I'll give you a kiss [Sly smile}", she might try to dismiss it via skeptical/bored look, or otherwise try to use social pressure to make you feel like you've made a mistake. You must remain strong in your frame. If you communicate in any way, verbally or otherwise that you regret saying it, her attraction for you will evaporate. <----This is true for any form of challenging women...which you should be doing.

Also, keep in mind that with this specific example, you're still subtly communicating that you want to or at the very least would be ok with kissing her. This is a move which increases attainability. But if you're already too easy (a problem beginners often have) she'll lose interest. So my point is, make sure she already likes you, and isn't sure she "has" you before making a move like this.

Another way of saying this is that If you've been qualifying yourself to her the whole time/generally been trying to "prove yourself" to her, this would seem kinda awkward and phony. But if you've been screening/qualifying, teasing her and leading the whole time, this will seem much more congruent.

P.S.

Ray's right about the waitress thing. I should've mentioned that actually seducing her will probably be easier than someone you would cold approach. But if you're likely to see her again, this would also increase the risk that it becomes awkward if things don't work out....which is fine if you're ok with it.