I've (29m)been seeing this girl (27) for a little over a month now and everything seemed to be going great. She even said everything is going great a few times. We went away last week and stayed in an airbnb for a few says and she was extremely happy and said how much of a good time she had. This week I've noticed she seemed a little less happy and I asked her if everything was ok and she always said yes. On the phone everything seemed fine. I was with her yesterday during the day we went to the mall and when I first saw her she said how much she missed me and that when I kiss her she feels so good. We were with each other for 4.5 hours and on the way home I noticed that she seemed to get a little cold be just slightly. After I dropped her off she kissed me and said have a good day. I texted her an hour later saying I enjoyed seeing her today. She didn't respond until this morning and she said exactly this "So many things I've noticed it's disappointing me. I hate to say this because I really felt a great connection with you." I texted her back saying I'm sorry to hear that I'm confused though. What is disappointing you. Does anyone know what this girl could possibly be thinking? And what should I do?
Girl says theres so many things thats disappointing her.
- Thread starter Corey19
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This can happen when a woman feels like she’s “got” you.
There’s no room for tension and excitement, it’s like having all the reward with no effort. She wants to ride the wild stallion and try to tame him, instead she gets on and she finds out has no fire, it’s going to be a slow trot down the path.
Sounds like this might be what’s going on, especially going on a mini vacation together and asking her about the relationship often.
There’s no room for tension and excitement, it’s like having all the reward with no effort. She wants to ride the wild stallion and try to tame him, instead she gets on and she finds out has no fire, it’s going to be a slow trot down the path.
Sounds like this might be what’s going on, especially going on a mini vacation together and asking her about the relationship often.
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If I were trying to save this, I would stop asking her how she feels about the relationship. Cut that out, it’s certainly good to be aware and conscious of how’s she feeling, but asking in the way you have been is not the right way.
Secondly I would be very chill and calm, and let her feel however she’s feeling without getting swept up in it. You could almost think of it as a last chance shit test, if she says she’s not feeling it and you crumble and beg her to come back, you’re cooked like turkey dinner. On the other hand, if you accept it calmly, let her know YOU’RE disappointed but going to be 100% ok, and let her go her way, then that might get her intrigued again.
She feels like you’re too easy, she’s the one in control, and you’re at the whim of her actions.
if it’s not that far gone, then I would still cut out talking about the relationship. Think about what you want, and how she fits in your life, and stay solid on a direction.
If you give us more details on your behavior and actions when you’re together that would help us give better advice. Going off one paragraph isn’t enough.
Secondly I would be very chill and calm, and let her feel however she’s feeling without getting swept up in it. You could almost think of it as a last chance shit test, if she says she’s not feeling it and you crumble and beg her to come back, you’re cooked like turkey dinner. On the other hand, if you accept it calmly, let her know YOU’RE disappointed but going to be 100% ok, and let her go her way, then that might get her intrigued again.
She feels like you’re too easy, she’s the one in control, and you’re at the whim of her actions.
if it’s not that far gone, then I would still cut out talking about the relationship. Think about what you want, and how she fits in your life, and stay solid on a direction.
If you give us more details on your behavior and actions when you’re together that would help us give better advice. Going off one paragraph isn’t enough.
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So she ended up saying some things she doesn't like one of them actually made no sense something about seeing a message that read do I have a gay friend which I know absolutely nothing about. She also said I have no goals which I do and have stated to her multiple times so it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. When we are together my behavior is pretty normal and all she does is says how much I make her feel good. I don't even know if she's ever guna talk to me again at this point though so idk if I even have a chance. The last thing I said was that I have goals and thats it no response.
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There are a lot of things going on here that can leave a guy scratching his head wondering what just happened.
It’s because female psychology, the way a woman communicates is very different, especially in a relationship. I like to call it womanese.
it’s a communication with subtle sub-communication, body language cues, and often conflicts with the words they say.
It’s why there is the cliche “men don’t understand women“ in movies. But you can learn to understand it and become fluent in it.
what she’s telling you is not what the issue is.
It’s what I was saying before. She feels like she’s at the controls here. Try and take a step back and stop engaging in conversation about the situation.
It’s because female psychology, the way a woman communicates is very different, especially in a relationship. I like to call it womanese.
it’s a communication with subtle sub-communication, body language cues, and often conflicts with the words they say.
It’s why there is the cliche “men don’t understand women“ in movies. But you can learn to understand it and become fluent in it.
what she’s telling you is not what the issue is.
It’s what I was saying before. She feels like she’s at the controls here. Try and take a step back and stop engaging in conversation about the situation.
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watch seinfeld episode the stock tip
^ one of the best things i have learned is not to spend tooooo much time with a girl, with my main i try not to see her multiple concecutive days in a row.... I also try not to move in together, this in itself just like j wick is saying totally sky rockets compliance and sexual attraction...Even though they complain a lot about it... Boredom to women and familiarity = death of exitment … read this: https://blackdragonblog.com/2016/12/01/men-dont-understand-female-attraction/
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Good one skills .
actually if you look at the 19th century and early 20th century writers , especially the French ones ,you will notice that they mainly wrote about the human being and societies .
I remained with a couple of things from there .
“ a man can not be happy with a woman he loves “
“ men remarry because they adored their ex wife , while women because they despised their ex husbands “
“ men marry because they are tired , while women marry because they are curious . They both get disappointed “
I know it is a grim way of viewing things , but things are how they are , and this is a thing that no one here can really say something helpful , like not how to get in a situation like this.
if you do not commit and do serious stuff she will hate you , and will find a guy that will .
if you commit and she knows that she has you , she will be quite despotic and a lot of drama will happen .
no matter how you play it , you will get more or less the same result .
I am going through something similar myself , and I am just thinking that this is the type of game where there is no actual winner haha
actually if you look at the 19th century and early 20th century writers , especially the French ones ,you will notice that they mainly wrote about the human being and societies .
I remained with a couple of things from there .
“ a man can not be happy with a woman he loves “
“ men remarry because they adored their ex wife , while women because they despised their ex husbands “
“ men marry because they are tired , while women marry because they are curious . They both get disappointed “
I know it is a grim way of viewing things , but things are how they are , and this is a thing that no one here can really say something helpful , like not how to get in a situation like this.
if you do not commit and do serious stuff she will hate you , and will find a guy that will .
if you commit and she knows that she has you , she will be quite despotic and a lot of drama will happen .
no matter how you play it , you will get more or less the same result .
I am going through something similar myself , and I am just thinking that this is the type of game where there is no actual winner haha
Have to agree with the opinions here that you've spent too much time with her early on. Now she's thinking that you don't value your own time, so why should she value it? You can say you have goals, but your actions may suggest to her that you're not serious about them. I think there's an old Ricardus article somewhere in the gc website advising that when you're losing her, you just give 2/3rds reciprocity of what she gives you (maybe that was roissy, I don't remember). Anyway, you're probably better off not texting her until she texts you, giving short replies, and waiting for her to suggest the next meetup. I know it sucks to feel like you're losing someone you thought you had a special connection with, but chasing harder is likely just digging yourself into a deeper hole. Now is the time to learn Wu Wei.
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It could be a million things.
The real problem is that you're monitoring her emotional state and reacting to it, and now trying to fix it.
You are not letting the girl feel sad, letting her be down. You're trying to micro-manage how she feels. That's a recipe for disaster.
The play here is to stop trying to play with the cat, go back to living your awesome life, and let her try to come back in.
Then you give her your rules and regulations.
It sounds like your rules are
- She's gotta be happy to see you.
- And if she's not feeling it, she has to tell you.
Overall, a pick up artist should not be moving towards a relationship unless he's truly thought it through.
It's never enough that she's attractive, good sex, good personality mesh, good background, healthy, educated.
All that stuff gets her in the door, it doesn't seal the deal. And because you're a successful pick up artist, you can get those things from LOTS OF GIRLS.
She has to accept your leadership and guidance if she even wants something SHORT TERM and CASUAL. And it's an absolute must if she wants something Long Term. Because a man offers a lot to a woman in terms of a relationship. It's not all gonna be bj's and giggles, he has to really put up with the chick's mood swings, changes of mind, and her inability to be satisfied. (And her chaotic nature finds your stability grating)
And finally, you're approaching this situation like it was a committed relationship.
She needs to drag you into something like this, in order to feel that it was worth having. If she doesn't invest, it's pointless.
WIA
- Maybe it was your sexual performance
- Maybe her biology is making her moody.
- Maybe she dreamed about this and the reality didn't live up to her expectations.
- Maybe she got a text from an Ex.
- Maybe someone in her life is going through something bad and it's bleeding through.
The real problem is that you're monitoring her emotional state and reacting to it, and now trying to fix it.
You are not letting the girl feel sad, letting her be down. You're trying to micro-manage how she feels. That's a recipe for disaster.
The play here is to stop trying to play with the cat, go back to living your awesome life, and let her try to come back in.
Then you give her your rules and regulations.
It sounds like your rules are
- She's gotta be happy to see you.
- And if she's not feeling it, she has to tell you.
Overall, a pick up artist should not be moving towards a relationship unless he's truly thought it through.
It's never enough that she's attractive, good sex, good personality mesh, good background, healthy, educated.
All that stuff gets her in the door, it doesn't seal the deal. And because you're a successful pick up artist, you can get those things from LOTS OF GIRLS.
She has to accept your leadership and guidance if she even wants something SHORT TERM and CASUAL. And it's an absolute must if she wants something Long Term. Because a man offers a lot to a woman in terms of a relationship. It's not all gonna be bj's and giggles, he has to really put up with the chick's mood swings, changes of mind, and her inability to be satisfied. (And her chaotic nature finds your stability grating)
And finally, you're approaching this situation like it was a committed relationship.
She needs to drag you into something like this, in order to feel that it was worth having. If she doesn't invest, it's pointless.
WIA
So on Saturday I responded saying I understand you maybe we can talk on the phone and you can tell me what's on your mind. She said we should. I said ok just let me know when. She said ok. She hasn't got back to me yet. What should I say at this Point?
It was her idea to go on the trip though not mine. Does that make a difference? And she absolutely loved the trip there weren't any issues so I'm not sure if that was it. She even said it was really good for us.
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You missed the point, but west Indian response is the answer... your main problem is mild onitis aka neediness
I get what you're saying I just don't get this part. Thanks.
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There's a lot of disagreement among veteran players about the difficulty of a monogamous committed relationship (I think it's 11 on a scale of 10, but many think it's only a 2), but it's pretty well known that people don't value things they are given, things that are easy.
You are easy. You are catering to her. You're serving yourself and your manhood up on a platter to this girl. So her behavior is fairly predictable and typical. She is treating you with disdain. She's not afraid that her poor behavior will cause you to leave. Instead, she serves you a shit sandwich and you ask for seconds.
At your age, you should be much more used to typical female antics.
You're not gonna learn via a message board post. You're only gonna see the wisdom of what you're saying months from now when the relationship fails and she leaves, or some other type of heartbreak.
I try to stay away from relationship posts because guys in them are usually too far gone to fix them, and usually don't have the pick up skills to make them break-up proof.
WIA
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solid point WIA,
A lot of relationship issues are the result of getting into a serious relationship with a girl who's not a good fit for you or starting off with many bad precedents, which is not really "fixable".
The "fix" is to get out of the relationship and do things right the next time with a new girl and that's not what a lot of guys are wanting to hear.
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The problem is guys go into relationships the wrong way from a weak position... the ideal way is you having multiple women fighting and trying to get you into a relationship and you trying to avoid getting into 1, it is hard for guys that are new to get to that point cause they don't have enough experience to accomplish this.
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@Corey19
Be glad that you started to think about this a month in, and the girl seems to be leaning out of a relationship.
It's far worse to realize something is wrong when the girl says she loves you and is crying to make you stay.
Every veteran has gotten the point where he realizes that the girl is not good, or at least not good for him. The girl has other plans though. And she's not without her own powers and abilities. She caught your interest in the first place.
WIA
Be glad that you started to think about this a month in, and the girl seems to be leaning out of a relationship.
It's far worse to realize something is wrong when the girl says she loves you and is crying to make you stay.
Every veteran has gotten the point where he realizes that the girl is not good, or at least not good for him. The girl has other plans though. And she's not without her own powers and abilities. She caught your interest in the first place.
WIA