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Date Plans  Girl says yes to meeting, but on the condition we social distance

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
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Nov 18, 2019
Messages
959
Hey guys
So i was messaging this girl to set up the date. First i engaged her and then went for the soft close ala @Skills 's texting post:

Her: *took my intrigue bait blah blah*
Me: "Let's talk about those things when we meet up :) but that sounds interesting, so you're almost done with school! If you really want top grades you should meet and get to know a cute and handsome guy, it's a actually something most schools recommend, it's really good for one's education ;)"
Her: "Sure, we can plan something sometime. If we are gonna meet, however, we are gonna have to be careful in terms of distance because of corona. I have some family members who are in the risk group."

Haven't replied yet. Do you think it is sign of low interest? I thought so right off the bat but then i thought "hmmm if she's scared of infecting her family but says yes to meeting (with some conditions) anyways, that could also be high interest..." I won't do a chode date of no touching and stuff, i was thinking about making out with her and banging her in my car or something (she lives in another town) or maybe her place, but maybe not her place now because she lives at home and is corona scared. I was thinking just saying yes to being careful to shut her logical brain down and then on the date just escalate and arouse her anyways. Now she could still on the date be like "no... Remember the distancing" and that is a risk. Is it a risk worth taking? Should i do it?

Looking forward to your advice
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
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Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@Peterdk234 dude! This is a risk worth taking and you should do it. This is a shit test to see if you're going to drop out, if you're willing to accept you'll get her out and you need her in person to seduce her.

This is similar to @Skills tactical position of weakness, you accept her "frame" of the conditions to show you're socially calibrated and aware of the situation. This calms her logical brain and works in a way that @Velasco describes getting past the prison guard to avoid triggering ASD. You're simply getting past the obstacles and putting her mind at ease to allow her to meet you.

Once you meet emotions will take over. She could still be like "no" when you're out but we know the risk. Treat this like LMR, you might not be able to over come this if this is a genuine concern and her guard is fully up but if you're socially calibrated and not bull headed it could be a day 2 set. Follow the 3 bounce method for extra comfort.
 

Chase

Chieftan
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Oct 9, 2012
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6,240
@Peterdk234-

How'd you meet this girl? The way you met, how interested in you you think she is, and how interested in her you are make a big difference.

e.g., when I've had girls make stipulations I didn't like, but I felt like they liked me, and I liked them, I will tend to say sure, fine, no problem... then just overrule the stipulations once we're on the date.

But if the chemistry isn't there, I've had plenty of those dates where my gut has said, "Hmm, it already doesn't feel great with this girl, and now she wants to add these other obstacles in? Well, let's try it anyway and see what happens," and usually when I've done that it's turned into an irritating waste of my time. You never get enough chemistry to overcome the obstacle and the girl keeps it there the entire time.

I'd base it off that. If she:

  • Seemed interested when you met
  • Seems to like you a fair bit
  • Is someone you also quite like as well

... then message her, "Sure, no worries. We'll have a safe, socially distanced outing!" Then just overcome it on the date. Start with little teases: "So how close can we safely get before we're in the red zone?" "Is it a social distancing violation if we hold hands from a few feet away?" Etc.

If she isn't those things though, I'd just text her I understand her concerns, but it also doesn't sound like a very fun outing. Then message her to shoot you a message when she feels a little safer to meet up with people without the distancing.

Chase
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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peter i had a girl that ping me, and i had sex with her in the past multiple times..

And open me, likes me, but does not want to meet me till corona passes cause she does not want to take the risk....

my point is she has a legit concern cause she may have older family( @POB and me were even more paranoid than her, cutting girls in our rotations, just address her safety objections...


Also you need to know the difference between shit test and legit objection, that was not a shit test in a million years...
 
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Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
959
Great advice @Fluxcapacitor

@Chase You too, great advice. I met her through cold approach little over a month ago. Very quick number close, she had to get a train. I sent a scheduler text and she wrote a long reply saying she's booked until late October, so i text pinged her on Sunday after a weekend trip to a cool nature place here and sent her a picture. I'm gonna call her when i ask her out. She is very good looking. I didn't count much on this one, but it seems she's willing to come out, which is interesting. Seeing she's a busy girl (atleast intermittently) and wanna meet me despite her fear of covid-19, i would say she has a good interest level.

I might add, this girl lives an hour away in car. Should i plan the date around her city or should i tell her to take a train ride to my city? Might be too much to ask for with her level of investment/compliance as it stands. My wing says i should tell her to come to me.
 

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
959
peter i had a girl that ping me, and i had sex with her in the past multiple times..

And open me, likes me, but does not want to meet me till corona passes cause she does not want to take the risk....

my point is she has a legit concern cause she may have older family( @POB and me were even more paranoid than her, cutting girls in our rotations, just address her safety objections...


Also you need to know the difference between shit test and legit objection, that was not a shit test in a million years...
Yeah some girls take it differently. Restrictions were increased last friday. Will see how it affects girls' willingness to meet a new guy...
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,250
Yeah some girls take it differently. Restrictions were increased last friday. Will see how it affects girls' willingness to meet a new guy...

it really should not for the majority, my strategy was pre-entive strikes with girls online, get them to qualify first on safety issues...

i was "have you been wearing a mask? have you been safe? i am so paranoid about this, i have not been going out blah blah" so i would bring shit up first to give false security and project that i am super safe (i did not do this with the former fuck buddy cause i already fucked her, so i was lazy to do this, got over confident)
 

Chase

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6,240
@Peterdk234,

Great advice @Fluxcapacitor

@Chase You too, great advice. I met her through cold approach little over a month ago. Very quick number close, she had to get a train. I sent a scheduler text and she wrote a long reply saying she's booked until late October, so i text pinged her on Sunday after a weekend trip to a cool nature place here and sent her a picture. I'm gonna call her when i ask her out. She is very good looking. I didn't count much on this one, but it seems she's willing to come out, which is interesting. Seeing she's a busy girl (atleast intermittently) and wanna meet me despite her fear of covid-19, i would say she has a good interest level.

I might add, this girl lives an hour away in car. Should i plan the date around her city or should i tell her to take a train ride to my city? Might be too much to ask for with her level of investment/compliance as it stands. My wing says i should tell her to come to me.

In that case then yeah, definitely meet up.

I'd plan on it just being an informational date. With a backup plan there in case it warms up.

If it stays distanced, I'd look for ways to avoid going too deep on the date. You don't want her to associate "deep connection with Peter" with "large physical distance from Peter." So I'd just keep it light and fun and a pleasant, casual time unless she let her guard down. Just to set it up so that meeting up with you again in the future will be a light, fun, and easy "yes."

As for the location... I might be tempted to tell her something like, "Well hey, I know MYTOWN better and can recommend some great spots here. But I know you want to play it safe and maybe you want to stay closer to home. So I can always come there too if you don't mind being the guide. What's better, you think?"

Then just see what she says. (framing here is that if you drive to her city, she's being the guide -- so there is still investment there on her part. She has to plan the initial date out on her end. Or she can just 'take it easy' and drive to your town for you to lead -- but then she has that hour commute investment upfront)

Chase
 
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