Girl was excited and invested over text… then i lost it

[Kaida]

This girl I’m texting was receptive to subtle sexual frames in person so I tried it over text and it worked. But she just suddenly cut her investment even though she’s been heavy into me.


The conversation was picking up around 10:30pm and she was responding within 30 seconds - 1 minute, and her investment was escalating and she was becoming more enthusiastic

https://flic.kr/p/2psVmYv
https://flic.kr/p/2pt1Hij
https://flic.kr/p/2psVmSy

but then once I entered the club I completely forgot about the conversation and messaged her back around midnight trying to set up for the soft close (I was going to follow up the intrigue bait with @Skills line: “hanging out with a handsome man ”)

She then took a whole 1.5 days to reply to my soft close attempt lol.

I ignored the “???” she sent and just tried to reset the conversation with a “wyd”


https://flic.kr/p/2pt3aRK
I just left her on read after the “yup” and plan to spin back in a few days when she cools off.


What happened?? and what should I do

Side note: Recently I’ve been getting a lot of support from the forum and its been helping me dramatically. Thank you guys a shit ton, namely @TomInHo @Will_V @topcat and @Skills

Not much I can do right now to help give back in terms of advice, but once I get really good I’ll stick around and give good advice to newbies to help keep this place alive

 

[topcat]

This girl I’m texting was receptive to subtle sexual frames in person so I tried it over text and it worked. But she just suddenly cut her investment even though she’s been heavy into me.


The conversation was picking up around 10:30pm and she was responding within 30 seconds - 1 minute, and her investment was escalating and she was becoming more enthusiastic

https://flic.kr/p/2psVmYv
https://flic.kr/p/2pt1Hij
https://flic.kr/p/2psVmSy

but then once I entered the club I completely forgot about the conversation and messaged her back around midnight trying to set up for the soft close (I was going to follow up the intrigue bait with @Skills line: “hanging out with a handsome man ”)

She then took a whole 1.5 days to reply to my soft close attempt lol.

I ignored the “???” she sent and just tried to reset the conversation with a “wyd”


https://flic.kr/p/2pt3aRK
I just left her on read after the “yup” and plan to spin back in a few days when she cools off.


What happened?? and what should I do

Side note: Recently I’ve been getting a lot of support from the forum and its been helping me dramatically. Thank you guys a shit ton, namely @TomInHo @Will_V @topcat and @Skills

Not much I can do right now to help give back in terms of advice, but once I get really good I’ll stick around and give good advice to newbies to help keep this place alive

I really hate that "wyd?" shit man, i'm pretty sure it gets on a girl's nerves too...

You're basically saying "i have nothing to offer you in conversation of value...entertain me". How the hell do you expect a girl to respond to that?

after "???" which suggests low investment, you either hit her with something intriguing or a pattern interrupt to burst her frame or you give her radio silence and ping another day.

I still feel as though you're playing the dancing monkey with your texts, even the first segment you think shows her investing is really just you overinvesting. Say less and gradually ramp up the investment in relation to hers...

 

[Will_V]

This girl I’m texting was receptive to subtle sexual frames in person so I tried it over text and it worked. But she just suddenly cut her investment even though she’s been heavy into me.


The conversation was picking up around 10:30pm and she was responding within 30 seconds - 1 minute, and her investment was escalating and she was becoming more enthusiastic

https://flic.kr/p/2psVmYv
https://flic.kr/p/2pt1Hij
https://flic.kr/p/2psVmSy

but then once I entered the club I completely forgot about the conversation and messaged her back around midnight trying to set up for the soft close (I was going to follow up the intrigue bait with @Skills line: “hanging out with a handsome man ”)

She then took a whole 1.5 days to reply to my soft close attempt lol.

I ignored the “???” she sent and just tried to reset the conversation with a “wyd”


https://flic.kr/p/2pt3aRK
I just left her on read after the “yup” and plan to spin back in a few days when she cools off.


What happened?? and what should I do

Side note: Recently I’ve been getting a lot of support from the forum and its been helping me dramatically. Thank you guys a shit ton, namely @TomInHo @Will_V @topcat and @Skills

Not much I can do right now to help give back in terms of advice, but once I get really good I’ll stick around and give good advice to newbies to help keep this place alive

Initial texting was good and the sexual tease was great because she set it up for you.

The real problem was where you said "I know the best way to recover ..".

I've used this type of line before and it rarely goes well unless you do it in a quite subtle and drawn out way. It comes across very opportunistic - "you're tired/bored/lonely/dog died/overworked/etc? All fixed with my dick!". That's why she goes "???" because she expects that that is your intention and it comes on too strong. This fails on multiple levels:

- Makes your intention too clear
- Loses all the tension
- Makes you a 'fixer' who's trying to go around fixing things
- Doesn't actually build any connection with her at all

And when you come on ultra strong like that you better have a good/funny answer when she asks you to be more specific or she's going to get annoyed. Trying to cut thread with "wyd?" will certainly not cut it.

When a girl's talking about something annoying/difficult I find it's always best to tease her, otherwise you get sucked into the frame of the emotional tampon - "oh that's horrible! etc" or the fixer "Get a new job/start a business/suck my dick and that will solve your problems" neither of which she actually wants right that moment - what she wants is to feel connected to you while dominated by you, that's what makes her feel calm and happy even when life is a grind.

Something like:

"well before you've had enough and trash the place and get yourself arrested let's meet up sometime, what's your weekend like"

Connects with her frustration while teasing her, getting off the boring topic, and moving toward a meetup. You aren't fixing anything, you're just giving her some feelings and moving things along.

 

[Skills]

This girl I’m texting was receptive to subtle sexual frames in person so I tried it over text and it worked. But she just suddenly cut her investment even though she’s been heavy into me.


The conversation was picking up around 10:30pm and she was responding within 30 seconds - 1 minute, and her investment was escalating and she was becoming more enthusiastic

https://flic.kr/p/2psVmYv
https://flic.kr/p/2pt1Hij
https://flic.kr/p/2psVmSy

but then once I entered the club I completely forgot about the conversation and messaged her back around midnight trying to set up for the soft close (I was going to follow up the intrigue bait with @Skills line: “hanging out with a handsome man ”)

She then took a whole 1.5 days to reply to my soft close attempt lol.

I ignored the “???” she sent and just tried to reset the conversation with a “wyd”


https://flic.kr/p/2pt3aRK
I just left her on read after the “yup” and plan to spin back in a few days when she cools off.


What happened?? and what should I do

Side note: Recently I’ve been getting a lot of support from the forum and its been helping me dramatically. Thank you guys a shit ton, namely @TomInHo @Will_V @topcat and @Skills

Not much I can do right now to help give back in terms of advice, but once I get really good I’ll stick around and give good advice to newbies to help keep this place alive

I don't think it was bad though i am honestly not a fan of your bubonics kunta kinte text maxing..... Sometimes it takes me 50 reads to understand the language due to your gansta text maxing... ( i have a lot of gen z on my crew that are kuntas and they don't text like that, like dww, thomino, topcat,alladyn are major kuntas and they don't use bubonics....

like when i text i don't go dimelooo mami, que lo que? i don't do cholo maxing....

But anyways kaida i like your flirtiness as @Will_V the punch line it will be off if the timing of the cocky funny is off(more on this later)....... I have a solution to exchange your wyd, it requires a bit more work.... ( i think to be honest you are doing good)

For example you can use high value activity that you are doing, then ask her what is she doing....

I am at they gym looking fit and sexy for our upcoming date, what are you up to?

Just finish studying have a major text tomorrow what are you up to? (even though study is nerdy it displayed that you are busy achieving is just to make a point)

So ping low effort>could just be her name, Lauraaaa, i personally like to type the last letter of her name couple of times(like 3) > she responds> i am here at (high value activity)> what are you up to..... better than wyd....

also when she ask you what you are doing same thing elaborate?

Practice?? yea i box i never told you? helps me keep in shape and look sexy and protect you from the creepers that don't get the hints...

I use a lot and works for me what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling??? (i personally get good responses, some guys think is cringe works for me)

^ so kaida you are not doing bad, when you are doing the soft closes is at point of high investment to gauge were she is at but as @Will_V said it would have been uncalibrated, so you did ok not forcing the second part of the soft close...

A note of flirtiness, and witti humor and cocky funny stuff, the whole goal is not to be a dancing monkey (and you really were not you were ok) but to display intelligence, witts and social acuity while gauging, but you don't have to stay on that thread too long or it will come across dancing monkey you need to fractionate (remember this, and you kind of did)....All of that is attractive like the way you did it with she being soaked really good....

I was going to hammer you cause i could not get the bubonics, but after the 50th time i read it was not that bad... other than the was momentum lapses and she was not investing much(is normal though pre fucks), but she was responding.... (and is ok it happens i fucked girls texting like her many times, my main now was so much worst)...

 

[Kaida]

I really hate that "wyd?" shit man, i'm pretty sure it gets on a girl's nerves too...

You're basically saying "i have nothing to offer you in conversation of value...entertain me". How the hell do you expect a girl to respond to that?

Yeah I agree. In certain contexts it seems to work but I think I may be using it too much

after "???" which suggests low investment, you either hit her with something intriguing or a pattern interrupt to burst her frame or you give her radio silence and ping another day.

Definitely noted. I thought a thread cut would salvage it because she seemed interested before but obviously didn’t. After I saw she was being dry I killed it

 

[StrayDog]

like when i text i don't go dimelooo mami, que lo que? i don't do cholo maxing....

Orale Skills, why no cholo maxing. Yo pense todas las gatas shaking tail por el spanglish, carnal

 

[Kaida]

I've used this type of line before and it rarely goes well unless you do it in a quite subtle and drawn out way. It comes across very opportunistic - "you're tired/bored/lonely/dog died/overworked/etc? All fixed with my dick!". That's why she goes "???" because she expects that that is your intention and it comes on too strong. This fails on multiple levels:

- Makes your intention too clear
- Loses all the tension
- Makes you a 'fixer' who's trying to go around fixing things
- Doesn't actually build any connection with her at all

And when you come on ultra strong like that you better have a good/funny answer when she asks you to be more specific or she's going to get annoyed. Trying to cut thread with "wyd?" will certainly not cut it.

Crazy because I’ve been using this on a lot of girls recently lol. Glad you broke it down or else I would have tested it on many more girls before finding that out myself

When a girl's talking about something annoying/difficult I find it's always best to tease her, otherwise you get sucked into the frame of the emotional tampon - "oh that's horrible! etc" or the fixer "Get a new job/start a business/suck my dick and that will solve your problems" neither of which she actually wants right that moment - what she wants is to feel connected to you while dominated by you, that's what makes her feel calm and happy even when life is a grind.

Something like:

"well before you've had enough and trash the place and get yourself arrested let's meet up sometime, what's your weekend like"

Ahh, noted . Will definitely be using that.

Your message is also a much better escalatio then what I was doing. Straight to the point.

 

[Rakehell]

I really hate that "wyd?" shit man, i'm pretty sure it gets on a girl's nerves too...

You're basically saying "i have nothing to offer you in conversation of value...entertain me". How the hell do you expect a girl to respond to that?

, To be fair they do it too. It’s a go to for all the reasons you described. Can’t say i’m not guilty of doing it from time to time.

Doesn’t make sense to do when things are so fresh and you can talk about literally anything tho!!

The real problem was where you said "I know the best way to recover ..".

The timing was off for sure, I actually think it could’ve landed if she were reading it with the same eyes she would’ve had when he first read the text and thought about sending it.

I see what he was trying to do, but do think the timing was off and the mood was gone at that point. Think this is what Skills was alluding to.

I don't think it was bad though i am honestly not a fan of your bubonics kunta kinte text maxing....

Agree here, you’re an intelligent dude and intelligence can be attractive. There’s nothing wrong with using proper grammar to get your point across. Even more so, so you aren’t misunderstood which can happen.

At the same time if you’re talking to a girl who talks that way herself, which I noticed some of them are. I think it’s fine to sprinkle some in just from a vibing standpoint. On the flip side even a girl who normally types that way will try harder to use proper formatting when you do, which is much more attractive imo.

What happened?? and what should I do

It’s been seeming like a pattern where girls who are initially interested in you fall off.

A different perspective coming from me is if you run into a girl who seems like she’s into you from the jump, do less, not more as far as “gaming”.

Only take the tools you need with you, don’t throw everything but the kitchen sink at her if that makes sense.

It almost feels like you’re silently sucking up the validation that comes with it and taking some of their interest for granted. My take is relax on some of the seduction tech, and shoot for a more naturally flowing dialogue, instead of wanting to force it to be a certain way. Let it evolve into something similar as the guidelines everyone is laying out, not exact replicas if that makes sense.

 

[Kaida]

I don't think it was bad though i am honestly not a fan of your bubonics kunta kinte text maxing..... Sometimes it takes me 50 reads to understand the language due to your gansta text maxing... ( i have a lot of gen z on my crew that are kuntas and they don't text like that, like dww, thomino, topcat,alladyn are major kuntas and they don't use bubonics....

like when i text i don't go dimelooo mami, que lo que? i don't do cholo maxing....

Haha I havent had any problems with girls understanding me. But I can see how it can be hard to read

Thought it’d give me cool points in high school. Kind of just a habit now

I am at they gym looking fit and sexy for our upcoming date, what are you up to?

I’ll test it out for sure. To me this sounds vaugely qualifying though and a bit too invested for a text in the early conversation. Am I missing something?

So ping low effort>could just be her name, Lauraaaa, i personally like to type the last letter of her name couple of times(like 3) > she responds> i am here at (high value activity)> what are you up to..... better than wyd....

Perfect! I needed a low effort ping to send girls. Definitely using that more often.

Practice?? yea i box i never told you? helps me keep in shape and look sexy and protect you from the creepers that don't get the hints...

This seems good but I’m not sure. On one hand its displaying social awareness because you’re contrasting yourself with the creeps.

But on the other hand i think it may come across as provider-y saying you’ll fight creeps off for her. I’m sure I’m missing something though, you know better than me obviously

I use a lot and works for me what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling??? (i personally get good responses, some guys think is cringe works for me)

I think we must text similar lol… I used the exact same line on this same girl earlier. Its also another variation of wyd:

https://flic.kr/p/2pt4n74

other than the was momentum lapses and she was not investing much(is normal though pre fucks), but she was responding....

I have another girl who is similar and takes a loong time to respond but is still responding. She showed good interest in person but I didnt have time to flirt with her.

With girls like this it seems like the best thing to do is just move towards a meet while still providing good feelings and being energetic, while making sure the balance of investment isnt too much on your side.

 

[TomInHo]

Haha I havent had any problems with girls understanding me. But I can see how it can be hard to read

Thought it’d give me cool points in high school. Kind of just a habit now

The girls may not say anything about you using Ebonics to your face. But if we notice it please believe they do too

Like @Rakehell said, you showing your intelligence is attractive. Sprinkling in some low effort texting here and there shows you get it

But talking normal can make you seem less try hard and more genuine

And also give the girls an opportunity to try to mirror your texting style

I’ll test it out for sure. To me this sounds vaugely qualifying though and a bit too invested for a text in the early conversation. Am I missing something?

Yes

You’re missing that he’s being flirtatious and testing the waters

I noticed you’re always worried about showing any kind of interest in girls

It’s almost like you think if you show interest then hers will magically evaporate….

NEWSFLASH… It doesn’t

In fact when you show interest, girls that really like you will feel safe showing more interest in you and the vibe becomes more cooperative

And if her response is not enthusiastic, you can always dial back the energy to match her current level of interest

It’s almost like physical escalation but over text

This seems good but I’m not sure. On one hand it’s displaying social awareness because you’re contrasting yourself with the creeps.

But on the other hand i think it may come across as provider-y saying you’ll fight creeps off for her. I’m sure I’m missing something though, you know better than me obviously

Read my point above

 

[Will_V]

The timing was off for sure, I actually think it could’ve landed if she were reading it with the same eyes she would’ve had when he first read the text and thought about sending it.

I see what he was trying to do, but do think the timing was off and the mood was gone at that point. Think this is what Skills was alluding to.

Timing was definitely off, it's the sort of thing you can maybe do if the mood is right and the texts are flowing, you do not want to make a thrust like that after the conversation has died down.

I notice though that when I do something similar and the girl isn't super invested it usually gets some pushback, like she might ghost for a while or ask me what I mean, which I very much dislike when girls do that. And here there is definitely pushback - a "?" message is super low investment and rude.

I much prefer keeping things always in the zone of a girl qualifying to me, all my easiest lays have been where she ended up in the frame of proving herself to me and I was moving things along with small bits of push/pull to keep her softened up. Whenever I am reaching hard with comments that amount to 'I know just what you need!' it gets her in the zone of sitting back and evaluating my offer and that's not very good for anything.

 

[Bo Diddley]

Crazy because I’ve been using this on a lot of girls recently lol. Glad you broke it down or else I would have tested it on many more girls before finding that out myself



Ahh, noted . Will definitely be using that.

Your message is also a much better escalatio then what I was doing. Straight to the point.

Suggestion - follow up the "I know the best way to recover line" and the "???" with this:

"lemonade. duh lol" or similiar and link this

When she's done laughing, go into serious mode and suggest something stronger for the both of you.