girl was flaking after first date - genuine or just too nice?

[mindful]

Hi guys,

I went on a date with this girl this past Monday.

We met for drinks and it went quite well. I incorporated a lot of touching (more than I usually do) with playful teasing/banter during convo. She even touched me a few times as well on my lower arm.

We left the bar around 9:35 PM and I asked her if she wanted to continue hanging out back at my place (met shortly after 8 PM). She gave a sort of long "hmmmmmm" like she was thinking it over. She eventually said she couldn't because she had an 8 AM class. I did try and persist... I told her it was still early and I would have her home by 11:30PM so she would get plenty of beauty rest. And yeah, it still fell flat. She said we could grab a drink or something again since I was gonna be around all week.

So we walked in the same direction since I actually parked on her street and didn't even know it lol. Talked some more on the walk and tried one last push before we went our separate ways. I didn't kiss her but gave a hug and told her it was a fun time.

Now, I already wasn't feeling too good since she wouldn't come home with me. Also she knew I was only around a week so it was the perfect lover combo.

But I text her the next day around 3PM telling her to come over to my place that evening and we would cook some food.

When she responded, I thought it was a green light:

her: Hey mindful. Hmm depends...what would we cook? (with the smiley crying face)

I give her two options that we could cook, and also tell her she can help me pick out a bottle of wine (she drinks wine).

and then thats when she came back with...

her: sounds amazing but im not sure I can make it tonight I realized I'm a lot busier with work this week than i previously thought. But I'm glad I went out with you last night. it was fun (smiley red cheek face).

So here is where I thought it was a flake... and why would she even ask me if she was gonna be busy anyways? I did try and persist after this but she told me to give her tonight to do her boring work so this weekend she wouldn't have to be a grandma. She also said she was no longer going away (thurs-sun) like she originally planned.

So at this point I thought she was full of shit sort of, but she still seemed genuine with her messages.

We talked about salsa night which happens on wednesdays in town, and even joked that she had to teach me when we were on our date.

So i text her again the next day

me: come teach me salsa tonight, we will have a good time
her: I'm so sorry. I'm still buried in work. I had so much fun on Monday but idk if we'll be able to meet up (the bowey face thing idk?)

I told myself I wasn't gonna text her again after this. I had some dates with other girls too but still wanted to see this one again.

So I did something I would never do - I called her out on her seemingly "busy-ness".

me: look i dont ever say this but im only around a week so I will - if you are truly busy with school/work then that is cool. If you aren't interested that is cool as well. I'm not mad, even if it's the latter. I had fun with you too and glad we got to meet up
her: hey thanks for being so honest! Im so sorry if I seem noncommital. I would love to hang out with you again but i truly am hit with this project that I didn't expect would be so much work. I leave for xxx on saturday, and if I finish my stuff, maybe we can get together friday night. But again, I can't commit at the moment because of my stuff I hope you can understand

Once again, seems genuine and I can't really tell. I let the text thread die out soon after my response until today ( 3 days later). I send a low-key text since I might be back in the coming weeks.

me: enjoy your xxx trip.might be back in 3 weeks, we should get together then
her: hey mindful! happy easter if you celebrate! have a great rest of your time in xxx and yes, i might be back home, but still let me know! im sorry this week didn't work out

So then I get that, which once again seems genuine... but she tells me she might not even be there lol.

So at this point I don't know if I'm just pursuing something that is never going to happen or what. Her texts have effort to them so i can't really tell.

delete the number? or hit her up when im there in a few weeks?

And yeah I did get laid on this trip thankfully by another girl

 

[Michal]

Seems genuine. But I suspect you are unsure based on that cooking exchange. How much time did pass between that "lets cook" - x - "what will we cook?" - y - "this and that and vine text" - z - "sorry too much work text"? Because I once made plans, got an email from a customer and had to cancel those plans 40 minutes later because it was an emergency. So I know it can happen but the way she handled that comes across as if that was not the case.

Also...
How much effort does it take to send a text in 3 weeks? I know the chances might be much lower but would you put your hand in fire to say that it is 100% lost case, in which case you can delete the number?

 

[mindful]

It took her 2 and a half hours to respond initially when she replied with "well it depends what will we cook".

Then I responded about 10 minutes later, and she responded about 15 mins after that saying she was busy with work. That's why I was sort of frustrated and thought she was only asking to see what I would say with no intention of coming over.

And yes, you are right... it doesn't take much effort at all. I can text her and see what happens.