I could use some post-analysis of what happened here.
I had started see this girl who lives some 6 hours away from me. She seemed enthusiastic to see me, as we used to be friends when we were kids, some 20+ years ago.
Sure enough, after a month of talking over text, we finally met in person, with me driving up to spend the day with her. She talked about coming down to visit me after our first and only date.
A month later, she finally texts me a few days before the tentative date that we talked about a month ago. To tell the truth, I had thought that maybe she wasn’t going to come down to visit, because there was nary a word. So, when she asked if she could come, I was taken by surprised.
She asked if I was free that weekend. So, I said that I should be and asked why. She sounded disappointed and said that if she was going to come down that she’d like to know that someone was home. I said that she was welcomed to visit, assuming airfare was not too bad.
She never responded. I texted her a day later to ask if she was still coming to be hit with the news. She said she cancelled the trip because I didn’t seem interested in this relationship and that she was moving on.
I know what you guys are going to say. Don’t do a long-distance relationship, because it’s doomed to fail. I know. I know. It’s just that I live in the middle of nowhere for a job, with the closest city being some 2 hours away. I also know that you will say that I need to move, which I am trying to do. It’s just that I don’t really like my current job and the prospect of working yet another job with more of the same in a major city is hardly motivating to me. I also know that you’d likely say that I need to get over my oneitis and that because I had to drive 6 hours to see her that I was chasing. Poor frames in any case.
I’m just curious for my own edification if she ended things because I was aloof, which I admit I was. After all, we are so far from each other that the prospect of chatting either over the phone or in text just seems silly and counter-productive to furthering the relationship. We “chatted” exclusively over text messages after our first and only date. And the chats were brief, 2 to 3 message exchanges, once a week. I had mentioned to her that I was looking for jobs in the area she lives, which I also lived, trying to move back. So I assumed that she knew that it was also to be closer to her in case things worked out.
I guess I don’t really know what happened and I'm trying to avoid a repeat of the same thing. I also am not thinking too clearly right now because I was recently let go from my job, so this was a double-whammy. I didn't tell her that.
Did she really end things because I was just too damned far? Or because I was aloof?
I had started see this girl who lives some 6 hours away from me. She seemed enthusiastic to see me, as we used to be friends when we were kids, some 20+ years ago.
Sure enough, after a month of talking over text, we finally met in person, with me driving up to spend the day with her. She talked about coming down to visit me after our first and only date.
A month later, she finally texts me a few days before the tentative date that we talked about a month ago. To tell the truth, I had thought that maybe she wasn’t going to come down to visit, because there was nary a word. So, when she asked if she could come, I was taken by surprised.
She asked if I was free that weekend. So, I said that I should be and asked why. She sounded disappointed and said that if she was going to come down that she’d like to know that someone was home. I said that she was welcomed to visit, assuming airfare was not too bad.
She never responded. I texted her a day later to ask if she was still coming to be hit with the news. She said she cancelled the trip because I didn’t seem interested in this relationship and that she was moving on.
I know what you guys are going to say. Don’t do a long-distance relationship, because it’s doomed to fail. I know. I know. It’s just that I live in the middle of nowhere for a job, with the closest city being some 2 hours away. I also know that you will say that I need to move, which I am trying to do. It’s just that I don’t really like my current job and the prospect of working yet another job with more of the same in a major city is hardly motivating to me. I also know that you’d likely say that I need to get over my oneitis and that because I had to drive 6 hours to see her that I was chasing. Poor frames in any case.
I’m just curious for my own edification if she ended things because I was aloof, which I admit I was. After all, we are so far from each other that the prospect of chatting either over the phone or in text just seems silly and counter-productive to furthering the relationship. We “chatted” exclusively over text messages after our first and only date. And the chats were brief, 2 to 3 message exchanges, once a week. I had mentioned to her that I was looking for jobs in the area she lives, which I also lived, trying to move back. So I assumed that she knew that it was also to be closer to her in case things worked out.
I guess I don’t really know what happened and I'm trying to avoid a repeat of the same thing. I also am not thinking too clearly right now because I was recently let go from my job, so this was a double-whammy. I didn't tell her that.
Did she really end things because I was just too damned far? Or because I was aloof?
