Girl with a boyfriend

[ramshead]

at the moment I’m dating 6 girls. I’ve never felt so happy and stable. GC, definitely helped me out. I never had problems getting girls my issue was keeping them by doing what every other guy would do when the fucked up and that is chase and being extra nice.

I’ve been seeing this girl I meet near my work on lunch at a near by grill. We chatted and I got her number and we went out that night and had sex. Sometimes I see her at lunch but I try to keep it at minimum. I’ve been seeing her for almost 2 months. Yesterday, we chilled at my house add a cup of wine and then sex. When I drove back to her house she told me “I hope this doesn’t ruin this but I have a boyfriend and I’ve been with him for 2 years”

I was shocked because she’s super shy and innocent. So I told her it’s cool I don’t judge.

I really thought of all the girls this one could lead to an actual official relationship. I still like her jealousy is not an issue another girl I’m seeing has a boyfriend as well but she told me after the 2nd time if I was cool with it.

I know chase says a guy is always going to have a problem with you dating a girl weather it be a boyfriend, coworker or a guy in the friend zone.

I guess if her boyfriend is doing something wrong to cause her to cheat the thing is I saw this girl differently than the other one that had a boyfriend. And if she were to ever become a girlfriend which it seemed to heading in that direction is if she would cheat on me.

How do you handle this type of situation we’re a girl seemed one way but turned out to be completely different. I’m seeing her tomorrow night and I don’t want to treat her differently but know that I no she has a boyfriend it’s going to be weird with her. The other girl that has a boyfriend we don’t even talk about it we just have fun and i knew that was the plan from the beginning.

 

[Franco]

ramshead,

Well, the only one who decides if it's weird here is you, right?

If you wanted this girl in a relationship but she only wants sex from a good lover, then there's going to be a bit of a problem. But if you only want sex from her, and she only wants sex from you, then your goals align. At that point, it's just up to her to manage her schedule to make sure she can see you at a time when her boyfriend is busy/unavailable.

It just depends what you're looking for (both in general, and with this girl). If you don't like the idea of seeing this girl casually, then you can just stop seeing her. But if you don't mind seeing her sexually, you can always just see her and date other women simultaneously until you find a girl that you like that's actually available for a relationship (if that's what you want).

Do keep in mind that, if your goal is to find a girl to take into a relationship, investing too much time in a girl that's unavailable won't allow you enough time to meet and spend time with a new girl that is potentially open to a relationship with you. So you'll have some decisions to make: what are you looking for in general? What are you okay with doing with this particular girl? If she's okay with just sex with you, are you okay with just sex with her?

Keep in mind she might be evaluating your potential as a boyfriend/provider as well -- if she only enjoys you for the sex but thinks you wouldn't want to be her boyfriend, then she won't give you any signs that she wants that. So if you want that from her, you might have to give her more of your time during the week so that she feels like you do want to see her more than just casually. There's a high likelihood that she won't leave her boyfriend unless she feels very sure she could immediately hop into something serious with you; otherwise she could risk losing her current boyfriend and you (which would be the thing she definitely wants to avoid the most).

Just make sure you know what you want at every point in time so that you can guide relationships in the direction that is best for you (and hopefully best for the girls as well).

- Franco

 

[ramshead]

Franco,

It is upto me if it’s going to be weird. I wasn’t looking for a relationship but the girl seemed to be wanting that. She has always agreed to go out on any day I ask her out. The reason that I saw her differently is that I work in an office environment. The owner always throws company picnics and dinner to bring your spause or partner since all the events are plus one. So this girl had the personality and figure to bring and show off.

I’ll continue treating her the same but I’ll slowly start treating her less than gf material and more as a lover. I don’t want to invest time in her like you said when I can spend more time with another girl. Time will tell.

It’s very fun and exiting having the opportunity to make decisions like this. I don’t even try and the girls I’m seeing contact me to see if I’m free.