girlfriend being vocal about what she wants to try in bed

[moom]

In situations where your girlfriend speaks up about what she wants to try in bed, is it better to encourage or discourage this behavior?

A part of it feels like she’s taking the lead in the bedroom which feels like it would lose her attraction. Other part feels like its a collaborative effort on both of our parts.

Want to preface this with I’m obviously the dominant one in the bedroom and we have tons of rough sex, gentle sex, and everything in between. We both like experimenting alot, and I’ve told her to communicate more in the bedroom.

-Moom

 

[Ambiance]

Assuming you want to increase excitement, trust, and vulnerability, it is better to encourage her to share her desires. You're still the leader as you are having her give you information about herself and suggestions that you still get final say on.

As far as acting on these desires of hers, only do so if you are into it yourself or at least neutral about it. For instance, I once got my ex to ask me to spit in her mouth. I am very dominant in bed, and while it doesn't turn me on to spit on a girl the way choking or biting or spanking do, it maintains the dominant frame so I happily went through with it.

Conversely, I once got her to admit she'd be into a MFM threesome. There's no way in hell I'd ever share my woman, so I nicely related to her by saying I love FMF threesomes, but had no interest in MFMs, and then threadcut into asking about any other fantasies of hers.

 

[Searcher]

I’ve told her to communicate more in the bedroom.

You say this and then the below

what she wants to try in bed, is it better to encourage or discourage this behavior?

You are contradicting yourself.

 

[Will_V]

In situations where your girlfriend speaks up about what she wants to try in bed, is it better to encourage or discourage this behavior?

A part of it feels like she’s taking the lead in the bedroom which feels like it would lose her attraction. Other part feels like its a collaborative effort on both of our parts.

Want to preface this with I’m obviously the dominant one in the bedroom and we have tons of rough sex, gentle sex, and everything in between. We both like experimenting alot, and I’ve told her to communicate more in the bedroom.

-Moom

Encourage her. I often ask girls what they enjoy or not (obviously smoothly, not just handing them a survey). You'd be surprised at what variety of things she'll come up with if she trusts you. The first time I banged a girl in the ass, she suggested it (she'd never done it before), and because it was her idea she got all excited and invested in it, and there's nothing more fun than fucking a girl who's worked herself up into a state. Other stuff I wouldn't really have thought of trying, I did because she suggested it, and usually it turned out to be lots of fun because she was bought in.

Just because she suggests it doesn't mean you can't continue leading the interaction - that's a question of confidence and assertiveness not who came up with what.

 

[moom]

You say this and then the below

You are contradicting yourself.

Yeah, had the second thought much longer after the first lol