Girlfriend is not emotionally ready to have sex again

James D

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
129
I've been with my girlfriend for 11 months.
We've had an amazing relationship, lived in the same room for 8 of those months, sex 3-4 times a day, we built an online business together, we have couple goals etc.

She went back home to see her family for 2 months. Long distance was pretty hard but it went fine. She tried her best to keep me happy, sending nude videos of her masturbating to me etc.

Her country under lockdown, it was very difficult for her to fly back to me but she managed.

The eve of her departure, we get into a fight and, in my stupid anger, I insult her.

She took it very bad and said we're done.

I re-engaged her the day she was leaving and apologized for my personal attacks. But she was cold as fuck. She was treating me like a stranger and even refused to get on call with me.

She landed the next day, got into her hotel and I got her to call.

She explained to me just how badly the things I said hurt her and she said "I love you but I don't trust you anymore with my heart. I'm constantly scared you will hurt me"

At some point we both get a bit emotional and she confesses that she wants to be with me but she's just so scared. I convince her that it'll be fine. We agree to get back together.

Her first few days in quarantine go fine, we call, have phone sex etc but she occasionally tells me that she has still not recovered from that hurt and that she still has fears as to me hurting her.

Now earlier, while chatting, she asked me about my fantasies. I gave her a detailed blowjob fantasy. She said she'll take care of it, as she always does.

Then a few minutes ago she texted me and said she felt a bit uncomfortable when reading my text about the fantasy and she said she might have problems being comfortable with me to have sex.

This shocked me since I've never had any issues with sex with her, she never denied me sex not once since we've fucked every single day (even on her periods).

I let her know calmly that if sex goes away, we might face some issues.

She agreed and said sorry for saying that but that's on her mind.

How can I make her comfortable again?
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
4,878
What did you insult her though?

IF it is something related to her upbringing (her tribe), or who she is (tribe), or what she have always been (tribe), then sooner or later something is gonna go.

And you being mean to her when she's giving you all time and day, that's very bad indication of you as a person. She is thinking that she is misjudging your character as a decent human being.

z@c+
 

Dimension

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2019
Messages
10
Hi

If she loves you , wants to be with you , that one insult should not really make things any different with you guys .Honestly i think she is trying to hold leash on you , basically make you learn lesson here and gain control over current situation .Everyone fight these days , few insults here and there is part of the relationship , honestly do believe that relationship without fights , arguments , disagreements is not real relationship .

Have you ever insulted her before ? If so , what way ?

Reasons i believe she is acting that way .

#1 Trying to make you learn lesson that insulting her in the future is not everyday thing.

#2 Genuinely being manipulative person and trying to control relationship.(I believe that she is in Gemini star sign , could be wrong though)

#3Testing you to see what would you do without sex in the relationship

#4 Actually takes that insult seriously (lives in the fairytale ) .
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
1,626
James D i don't know what you did and you were probably wrong, but her using sex as a bargaining chip or weapon is not permissible.

You need to drop her and go no contact. You are in no position to repair this and any attempt will only weaken your position in the future.

Break it off, ig nore her and do better next time with other women.
 

James D

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
129
James D i don't know what you did and you were probably wrong, but her using sex as a bargaining chip or weapon is not permissible.

You need to drop her and go no contact. You are in no position to repair this and any attempt will only weaken your position in the future.

Break it off, ig nore her and do better next time with other women.
I ended it man.

I resisted the idea but sometimes things are damaged far too much and there's no going back.

Damn
 

James D

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
129
Back in the days of MASF, the Relationship Forum had a rule; if you weren't getting laid, it wasn't a relationship.

There is some wisdom in that.
Mike Silvertree,

It did not actually reach that point. She's still in quarantine. She only mentioned she might be uncomfortable to have sex when we do meet again.

I could have let her come and work things to a point where I fuck her and I probably could but after hearing some of the responses and reflecting on the damage which was already caused, I put an end to it.
 
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