FU GirlPower

[Marty]

Some days, I feel like I'm wearing a sign reading:

PRACTICING DAY GAME. Surrounding persons kindly requested to participate.

That was certainly the case in my first interaction of today. Anyone who understands what was really going on here, the "subtext" as Colt would have it, is welcome to explain it to me as if I were a small child. I don't want to know where I went wrong, this time... I know where I went wrong I'm just wondering how this happened at all!

Fuck-Up Report: "GirlPower"

I am casing the campus of our city's technical university for attractive women students. As I am drawing close to a street intersection, I see a fabulous girl cross toward my side. She has blond hair streaming down her back to just below the shoulder-blade; the lower layer is colored russet, giving a unique "lining" effect that I've never seen before. Her facial features have that narrow, sharply-defined yet feminine look, if you know what I mean... think Julia Roberts or even Grace Kelly.

She's at least 5'10", killer figure of course, and dressed in a black pantsuit that screams budding business power-lady. Despite the twenty-degree temperature she has on top only a light, short overcoat. We'll call her GirlPower

She's with a female friend; as I approach I see them exchange a few words intermittently. I am thinking there is no way, barring a miracle, that I can make a smooth approach in this group situation. Here on campus there's not exactly much traffic, yet after the girls step out of the street onto the sidewalk, at the same time that I arrive at the same corner, they stop, apparently waiting for the "Walk" signal at the crosswalk perpendicular to the one they've just traversed.

That one has just switched back to "Don't Walk" too, so I stop for that, also ignoring the totally empty street. The sun is shining brightly. As we have our backs to each other, I am giving GirlPower surreptitious attention over my shoulder, checking her out in my peripheral vision for any realistic inroad, but I am pretty certain that an effective opening is out of the question at my level of ability.

Then GirlPower turns her head and looks me direct in the eye for several seconds, a pleasant expression on her face. Habits kick in involuntarily and I say the first thing that comes into my head, which happens to be lifted directly from NJ's Christmas shopper lay report.

• Marty: Where's your coat? You're gonna freeze!

She turns away and says something inaudible to her BFF. I start to turn away too, but the friend suddenly says gruffly: "I'm not gonna hold on... I gotta go!" and moves away.

Then GirlPower looks at me again, and smiles. Alone. As my focus is now totally upon the very image of cuteness in front of me, so of course all my surroundings have dissolved into nothingness. It turns out that the BFF has gone just ten paces down the street I've just approached from, but smitten as I am, I'm unaware of that fact for the time being.

Anyway, I'm ready this time.

• Marty: You have a beautiful smile!
  
  GirlPower: Thank you!
  
  Marty: What's your name?
  
  GirlPower: GirlPower.
  
  Marty: (extending hand, she takes it) It's good to meet you, GirlPower. Do you study here, at the university?
  
  GirlPower: Yes!
  
  Marty: My name's Marty. (Release her hand.) What are you up to? You look as if you're dressed for a job interview! (Cold read)

It was a mock interview apparently, at the career center, which turns out to be nearby. I connect with her briefly on this... she tells me how it went, her major, what stage she's at in her job search etc. Then the BFF has miraculously reappeared at her side:

• GirlPower: I gotta go. This is my ride!

We bid each other farewell pleasantly.

Am I reading too much into this, or did GirlPower ask her BFF to kindly get lost for a few moments so she could see what I wanted? And how did she know I wanted something?

Many here probably think my questions the height of naïveté, but all the same, I'd like to know

-Marty

 

[Motiv]

Hey Marty–

First of all, I just want to say that all your recent cold approaches are an inspiration to a fellow 30-something! Social skill and sex are really not the same thing, even though each can bolster confidence in the other. I too live near a college campus (where I went to school myself), but I've been feeling weird about approaching girls 10+ years younger than me lately… now I'm feeling a little better about going back to that.

My honest guess on GirlPower is that she definitely enjoyed basking in your attention and interest. In hindsight, I think I would have to say you should have attempted to grab her number with an excuse for coffee/meet-up later. Even though the interaction was short, it couldn't have hurt to go for that. In my recent experiences, brainwashing yourself into the image you want to portray goes a LONG way for you. If you believe hard enough that you are who you want to be, the people around you will too!

-MP

 

[Thedoctor]

Am I reading too much into this, or did GirlPower ask her BFF to kindly get lost for a few moments so she could see what I wanted?

Marty,

That's a possibility. But it kinda sounds based on context that GirlPower was asking her friend to wait (probably so she could chat with you). Then her friend replied she had to go. After the introductions, I would have asked "so where did you friend run off to so abruptly?" Then you could have had some insight into how much time you had to talk to her and it also would have answered the question you now have.

GirlPower may have told you that they were both headed somewhere, then you could have just asked for her number cause she was on a time crunch. I get the impression her friend came back cause they were headed somewhere and she was tired of waiting.

I had a similar situation one time where I was talking to a girl and her friend looked pissed. I said something along the lines of "Let me get your number now, cause it looks like your friend is not having fun and is gonna drag you out of here soon." It's a good thing I did cause that is exactly what happened.

-John

 

[stratvm]

my bet is that she exactly knew you were hitting on her, her friend knew it too and had you been attractive enough based on the interaction she would have just sent her friend away and would have stayed with you. not sure if grabbing a number would have made any difference so i think this is the best outcome given the situation so you can focus on future girls.

when i was out with a few experienced guys once one of them (literally) grabbed a girl out of the crowd and kissed her, then they went out for a smoke - when her friend came to drag her away she just sent her away and stayed with the guy and i read something in an article on the site too.

its a great thing she gave you a chance though, suppose it gives inspiration for future approaches?

 

[Marty]

Thanks guys, I am WAY behind on answering kind, helpful commenters on my own thread. I'm most grateful to you fellas.

my bet is that she exactly knew you were hitting on her, her friend knew it too

it kinda sounds based on context that GirlPower was asking her friend to wait (probably so she could chat with you).

My honest guess on GirlPower is that she definitely enjoyed basking in your attention and interest.

It's official: I'm transparent as water.

In hindsight, I think I would have to say you should have attempted to grab her number with an excuse for coffee/meet-up later. Even though the interaction was short, it couldn't have hurt to go for that.

GirlPower may have told you that they were both headed somewhere, then you could have just asked for her number cause she was on a time crunch.

not sure if grabbing a number would have made any difference

Yeah, this is where I fucked up and don't I know it

I had a similar situation one time where I was talking to a girl and her friend looked pissed. I said something along the lines of "Let me get your number now, cause it looks like your friend is not having fun and is gonna drag you out of here soon." It's a good thing I did cause that is exactly what happened.

Cool, I know. Like I said I was so enchanted by GirlPower I had no idea what was going on anywhere else in my environment )

First of all, I just want to say that all your recent cold approaches are an inspiration to a fellow 30-something! Social skill and sex are really not the same thing, even though each can bolster confidence in the other.

Glad to hear it... Yes, I don't like to mix the social with the sexual either. That's why I'm no good at night-game. I loathe male competition and if I'm talking to a girl I like, I'd prefer to keep it between the two of us. I do okay in some social circle situations though... sometimes you can turn the weakness into a strength by utilizing interruptions to your advantage.

've been feeling weird about approaching girls 10+ years younger than me lately…

I've never understood this... some men seem to make a big deal out of it (I don't think any women do!), but it's just basic biology—we're attracted to women of childbearing age (of course) and the closer they are to the bottom end of that childbearing age-span, the less likely they are to have been already impregnated by another man, and therefore the more resources they will likely dedicate to YOUR offspring. That preference is very strongly selected for by evolution (and like anything else, any deviation from it is ruthlessly punished by natural selection). Men by contrast require time to out-dominate the competition and amass resources, making successful older males, or younger ones with visible potential, the most attractive mates.

I'm sure you can find a complete graph somewhere but just picking a few of the James Bond movies...

From Russia with Love (1963): Sean Connery 33, Daniela Bianchi 21
You Only Live Twice (1967): Sean Connery 37, Karin Dor 29
The Spy Who Loved Me (1977): Roger Moore 50, Barbara Bach 30

...and the same largely applies to Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig, of course. Anyway, you get the idea.

-Marty

 

[gijas04]

brainwashing yourself into the image you want to portray goes a LONG way for you. If you believe hard enough that you are who you want to be, the people around you will too!

-MP

So what images can one portray into? And is brainwashing into these images a form of visualization? I do find that if I think of myself as a confident guy or a sexy Latino man (I'm white but can pass for such due to my physical apperience) I can make women notice me first actually, everyone. I can walk like a male model or a gun slinger with good posture and people will move out of my way like clockwork. I can position myself to be noticed and I get exactly that. Just this Friday I positioned myself in a coffee shop by sitting down and facing the entrance. I imagined that I was in some salon in the old west sipping on a bottle of whisky. The women that came in would glance over in my direction. I could sense their interest in me and my image I portrayed. I have seen this work many times I just need a direction in magnifying these images I take on.. to make contact like Marty is doing.

 

[Motiv]

brainwashing yourself into the image you want to portray goes a LONG way for you. If you believe hard enough that you are who you want to be, the people around you will too!

-MP

So what images can one portray into? And is brainwashing into these images a form of visualization? I do find that if I think of myself as a confident guy or a sexy Latino man (I'm white but can pass for such due to my physical apperience) I can make women notice me first actually, everyone. I can walk like a male model or a gun slinger with good posture and people will move out of my way like clockwork. I can position myself to be noticed and I get exactly that. Just this Friday I positioned myself in a coffee shop by sitting down and facing the entrance. I imagined that I was in some salon in the old west sipping on a bottle of whisky. The women that came in would glance over in my direction. I could sense their interest in me and my image I portrayed. I have seen this work many times I just need a direction in magnifying these images I take on.. to make contact like Marty is doing.

Hi gijas04—

That's terrific to hear of your success in the coffee shop—it sure feels damned good to unlock that first door to attracting female attention! Brainwashing may sound a little negative, but I think we could also call it visualization. I believe you can portray yourself into a nearly limitless variety of images, but some will fall much closer in alignment to your natural personality than others, allowing you to pull them off more convincingly with less effort. The further away the image from who you are, the more practice it will take to pull off—a word of caution though that pushing yourself too far outside your true personality can have dire psychological consequences for you down the road. When I first started out testing edgy body language together with new fashion and a haircut, I got a marked increase in female attention but I also got my professional mentor pissed. An ultra-conservative, high society type, he was appalled and asked what in the world was wrong with me. In his words, "you've destroyed your noble, humble character and replaced it with cheap, pseudo behavior". He even disapproves of my new muscle... a long story for another day.

So, I scaled my behavior and fashion back down to a happy medium where both my mentor is pleased and women still eye me as much as before: for me, that's the Craig version of Bond. Think English Oxford style (like in Skyfall, when he's sitting at the bar in the Shanghai hotel) with a generally serious demeanor that switches to a seductive, sultry vibe on a dime and then back again. In my particular situation, I personally walk a fine line and must be very careful how and when to flip the seduction mode on and off, so I need a gentlemanly style that's cloaked in class and smoothness. That's also why physical fitness has become a top priority for me—need every passive fundamental in top form in order to pull it off this way.

-MP

P.S. As my screen name and avatar might imply, it does help to think of myself as a machine under the skin, running a program—keeps me emotionally detached enough to step outside my comfort zone and try new things. Machines are dispassionate toward failure, and they can be reprogrammed and upgraded or rebuilt as desired.

 

[maximus6004]

I had an experience at a bar where i met this gorgeous blonde from out of town and she agreed to follow me to the other side of the bar and i continued to small talk her she was from out of town and gorgeous and this psyched me out.....

Move faster. Like in the articles said you would be surprised sometimes how fast you can pull so maybe try pulling her back to your place faster to see what happens especially with the new articles that just came out recently. if it is not working change your game up and break the code. try sex talking more or in the case of this article move faster. you might win or lose but take a hundred girls in the situation you were in and move as fast as you can. Scary but maybe that's what you should try next!

 

[gijas04]

The further away the image from who you are, the more practice it will take to pull off—a word of caution though that pushing yourself too far outside your true personality can have dire psychological consequences for you down the road.

for me, that's the Craig version of Bond. Think English Oxford style (like in Skyfall, when he's sitting at the bar in the Shanghai hotel) with a generally serious demeanor that switches to a seductive, sultry vibe on a dime and then back again. In my particular situation, I personally walk a fine line and must be very careful how and when to flip the seduction mode on and off, so I need a gentlemanly style that's cloaked in class and smoothness. That's also why physical fitness has become a top priority for me—need every passive fundamental in top form in order to pull it off this way.

That's the problem. Unfortunately, I'm a true introvert. So being a social caliber is really hard for me. I've always had some form of passive fundamentals going on since my youth. I try to portray exactly what you described (a James Bond or Don Juan personality) and I feel that it fits my mysterious man persona quit well where I do not talk the part but act it. However, when it comes to actual interaction I often struggle to walk the walk. Its here I find more often than not to stumble and fall. This is where visualization should come in.

The other day I thought of a moment not too long ago where I was attracted to a oriental women I met in a tea shop. She was trying to sell me tea but something more was definitely going on in the interaction. During our talk I was mostly quit as she described the different teas her shop sold. But my eyes were locked on her like glue and would not dare stray. I felt this warm sexual feeling come over me as if our bodies where already intertwined in the heat of passion. I could not move, I could not speak and she was feeling this as well. She would blush as her eyes meet mine then shyly look away as if to say "yes, I feel your eyes having sex with me." She would smile nervously and then deeply exhale with her pursed lips. I could feel every inch of her the closer we got to each other.

This was a exciting experience for me. I have also experienced this before though not often. This is where I want to be in my interactions with women. I can see and smell success during these types of interactions and it just might be the code to break for me. But most of my recent interactions were not like the one I described. They were cold and forced where I would make a compliment and small talk then part ways feeling nothing for the women I just met. I felt good for approaching but that's about it. I really do believe that in order to be successful with women you must first find such interactions where they are mutual and your sexual senses go into a form of auto-pilot. Where everything just happens and the only thing left to do is take her home to escalate further.