Girls checking you out.

[Avalanche]

When you're out, how often women check you out? How much do they glance? Or if they stare, how often do they stare? Just tell me how often women look at you? Just curious how much attention you guys getting. I went out yesterday afternoon for some work, and there were thousands of women, almost all of them were going home after work. But not a single lady checked me out. Not a single glance. Impressive!

 

[fsc]

When you fish for eye contact, you usually won't get it. I may be wrong or incomplete in my reasoning, but I think it's because it makes women feel more like a prey, and you a desperate hunter. They know you're trying to initiate something, and they don't want to give you that chance by looking at you. However, I'm pretty sure that some women (prolly the horny and/or sexually experienced girls) will return eye contact especially if you have solid fundamentals.

I sorta have a "base" amount of girls who check me out due to passive/automated fundamentals, and I get more if my vibe/state is good. Overall, I am quite satisfied. However, sometimes I'm not sure if it's romantic/sexual interest or if it's intrigue--since I'm one of the few Asians who mind fundamentals.

Work on your fundamentals and vibe, and don't scan.

 

[Anonymous]

Overrated. Seriously.

It might be an indicator that she's interested, and oftentimes it is subconscious. Some women will check you out without being aware that they're doing it; I noticed that women who are on the phone are prone to doing this, as part of their brain is distracted and they are not self-monitoring as much, so even some of the socially savviest women will rubberneck or turn their heads to check you out… sometimes.

If anything, all it does is serve as an ego boost… the women who blatantly check you out are often not very socially polished or they're very confident and aggressive types.

Women will check you out… especially if you're good looking and/or have great body language and presence. But most of them will use their peripherals… and they'll check you out from the corner of their eyes, rather than move their whole head to face you… I've caught many a woman checking me out from the corner of their eyes… and they thought they were slick

 

[ray_zorse]

fsc is right. J.J. too but I'm not as good at catching them

A weird thing happened to me which was shortly after I upgraded my fashion, accessories and posture I would walk around the city, practicing my walk and scanning the faces of passers by and would get lots of EC and smiles. In retrospect this was prob cos my vibe was sky high... now if I scan I get no EC (this happens a lot more than I would like, old habits die hard). However instead of going backwards I'm trying to look straight ahead and appear completely absorbed in what I'm doing, while scanning the pperipherals for any IOIs. Hard.

cheers, Ray

 

[Avalanche]

fsc is right. J.J. too but I'm not as good at catching them

A weird thing happened to me which was shortly after I upgraded my fashion, accessories and posture I would walk around the city, practicing my walk and scanning the faces of passers by and would get lots of EC and smiles. In retrospect this was prob cos my vibe was sky high... now if I scan I get no EC (this happens a lot more than I would like, old habits die hard). However instead of going backwards I'm trying to look straight ahead and appear completely absorbed in what I'm doing, while scanning the pperipherals for any IOIs. Hard.

cheers, Ray

You get smiles from the girls who passes you? That's great! But here, they're so serious. They never smile. Anyway, I guess my fundamentals are really bad then. I feel like a fool.

 

[ray_zorse]

Nonono that wasn't the take home Girls' natural state is to not check you out, or at least not to appear to do so. We were just relating some tales of exceptional situations that happened briefly for whatever reason

Anyway, go read the articles on eye contact. In the newbie assignment on day 2 (or so) is an exercise where you have to get and hold EC with strangers, however that is only an exercise... for day to day you want to be practicing EC discipline, see the articles.

How are your fundamentals really though?

Did you buy some new tighter fitting clothes? Size M shirt or smaller...

Did you order some rings, a neck chain etc, online? See http://www.titaniumstyle.com from memory

Did you join the gym / get a personal trainer?

Did you select and buy a good quality cologne? I wear Wood and absinth by Mark Buxton perfumes... had a different one for night game till my son smashed it, could cry...

How are your boots? Get into some Chelsea's or loafers and clean them every time you go out

Your weight... check your BMI, adjust your diet accordingly (a sticking point for me)

Posture? Shoulders back, chest raised / thrust out

Your walk? Wide stance... feet turned inwards so they point forwards... chin parallel to ground... bit of swagger

These are just low hanging fruit that you can fix easily with a small time commitment, practice and splashing a bitta cash... for something more challenging try changing habits such as, not leaning in to a conversation, being mysterious, etc...

cheers, Ray

 

[Avalanche]

Nonono that wasn't the take home Girls' natural state is to not check you out, or at least not to appear to do so. We were just relating some tales of exceptional situations that happened briefly for whatever reason

Anyway, go read the articles on eye contact. In the newbie assignment on day 2 (or so) is an exercise where you have to get and hold EC with strangers, however that is only an exercise... for day to day you want to be practicing EC discipline, see the articles.

How are your fundamentals really though?

Did you buy some new tighter fitting clothes? Size M shirt or smaller...

Did you order some rings, a neck chain etc, online? See http://www.titaniumstyle.com from memory

Did you join the gym / get a personal trainer?

Did you select and buy a good quality cologne? I wear Wood and absinth by Mark Buxton perfumes... had a different one for night game till my son smashed it, could cry...

How are your boots? Get into some Chelsea's or loafers and clean them every time you go out

Your weight... check your BMI, adjust your diet accordingly (a sticking point for me)

Posture? Shoulders back, chest raised / thrust out

Your walk? Wide stance... feet turned inwards so they point forwards... chin parallel to ground... bit of swagger

These are just low hanging fruit that you can fix easily with a small time commitment, practice and splashing a bitta cash... for something more challenging try changing habits such as, not leaning in to a conversation, being mysterious, etc...

cheers, Ray

Not going to the gym. Not yet. I'm not fat but just normal. But I know I have to. Let's see in a couple of weeks. There are so many gyms here in Sri Lanka, but hard to find a good one, I mean fully equipped and good trainers. They're quite rare. And I do everything else you've mentioned. But not the perfume. Didn't Chase say not to wear colonges/perfumes? Btw, I'm not rich enough to use Mark Buxton. Its 140 euros, which in currency almost 22000 rupees, which is quite expensive. Especially for someone like me, who's still depending on parents.

 

[Estate]

When you're out, how often women check you out? How much do they glance? Or if they stare, how often do they stare? Just tell me how often women look at you? Just curious how much attention you guys getting. I went out yesterday afternoon for some work, and there were thousands of women, almost all of them were going home after work. But not a single lady checked me out. Not a single glance. Impressive!

Honestly, when you're "looking" for it, this will happen.
Women are very subtle. If you walk down the street, without even knowing it's ery easy to start looking in womens directions in the hope they might meet your eye contact and you get nothing.
On the other handif you're walking along, looking around, looking up, looking down, appear busy, if you really keep your peripherals open you'll notice girls glacing. They really don't stare, very few women anyway.

For example, last week I was walking home from the subway to my apartment after work. I saw a cute girl coming in my direction but she had her head down. I was just coming in from work so hadn't intended to approach or anything. Anyway... basically, she didn't look up, didn't even appear to notice me. I turned into the door of my building and there's a second glass door inside that... she passed the door from the other direction I saw her STARING at me in the reflection, I took a quick turn and smiled catching her out, she turned away and had a little smile to herself knowing she was caught.
That's not really to prove anything about pickup. But a guy in that situation will stare at the girl as she walks towards him. The girl will wait until she thinks he has no idea and then check him out.

 

[ray_zorse]

This happened to me too the other day, I was in a coffee shop / restaurant having breakfast in a booth with my kids, saw a tall hot woman who prob works in the same building come in to get a coffee... she was a distance away, only hung around the register and the condiments / newspaper area for a bit and left... I didn't register her presence, just minded my posture etc... and neither did she me... but nevertheless after she left the shop she walked by the glass window as she headed for the lifts and we both locked eyes, she knew I was about to come in view and wanted to check me out discreetly and vice versa. I was amazed she had actually noticed me at all, women are very cunning... they also use reflections as Estate noted.
cheers, Ray

 

[Prehistoric]

I get checked out a lot (when they think I am not looking).

Although I really don't have impressive success in bedding them at the moment.

So as they said: overrated.

 

[Improvementalist]

I had intented to write about the topic to this thread earlier, but it came to my mind again today.


I had just ordered my lunch at the Uni diner, when I noticed a group of girls chatting at a corner table. I didn't really pay that more of a notice to them, and went to my table which was further away. For the next 5 minutes I was listening to the news about the happening at France, when I decided to turn my head for their table.

One of the girls had turned her upper body almost 90 degrees to my direction and she was looking straight at me. I didn't turn my eyes away but decided to continue to look just to see what her reaction would be.

She stared neutrally for around 3 to 4 secs and then turned back to her friends.



Then there was the one girl around less than a year ago whom I catched checking me out during one evening happening.
She gave me a wink.

Her daring move got me so behind the bushes that I instinctively turned my head away

Oh well, I later found out she was in a relationship anyway.



But what I was meant to write were,


Be on the lookout for, without actually "looking out".

Do not scan, but be vigilant nevertheless.

Expect the unexpected.

 

[Avalanche]

Well, I haven't faced such 'erotic novel type instances', where the man catches the woman staring or checking out in such ways. But I'm a quite vigilante when it comes to 'looking from the mirror' type of things. I always try to do that anywhere if there's any glass/mirror, when I want to see if she's looking at me, especially in buses. But no, never happens. So like that, I'm always trying to catch girls spying on me, but... nope. They don't. But I'm really concerned about this. My sky high confidence drops rapidly. I lose my vibe. This discourages me to approach any woman. I don't know what the fuck to do.

 

[Avalanche]

Please reply...

 

[Estate]

Avalanche,
It really shouldn't be an issue. Women usually aren't "looking" at guys they are going to approach on the street. Most people, guys and girl, anywhere you see them are just going about their day and it has no bearing on your whatsoever.

You don't need a girl to be glaring at you to initiate a conversation. At it's core, that's all you're doing, starting a conversation, and you can converse with anyone, anywhere about anything... it's not a big deal.

I mean, if you want the truth...
There's plenty times where women might have looked at me, heck, there's even a few times where women started a conversation with me in a bar or something and it went absolutely nowhere, once we started talking, there was just nothing there.
And on the contrary, I've spoken to plenty women who gave me no "signals" and it turned out great.

I think you're waiting for some grand gesture or something from women to give you permission to approach.

If you REALLY want women looking at you then there's no other way but work on your looks/fundamentals to be in the top 10% of guys... most guys are just "normal" and we don't have people ogling us in public in general.

 

[fsc]

Don't rely on external sources to boost your confidence or for validation. Really work on this. Read this all the way to part 5.

If you must have clearer invitation from girls, for now, then do what girls do to attract attention: position yourself in their field of view and draw attention through their eyes or ears by clearing your throat, humming/whistling a tune, tapping your thighs with your hand, tapping your foot on the ground, and/or looking into their eyes until they match your eye contact.

Or use an indirect opener and see how she responds.

Or just ignore it altogether and approach her anyway.

Just because she checked you out it doesn't mean it'll be smooth sailing with her, and you're not guaranteed a rejection just because she didn't check you out. An uninterested girl could've checked you out because the color you're wearing caught her eyes, and an interested girl may have missed you because she was so engrossed with her errands.

You're never gonna know until you approach her. Girls checking you out is not an absolute indicator of success.

 

[Franco]

Avalanche,

I haven't read through everyone's comments here, so sorry if I happen to repeat what has already been said.

When it comes to actually catching a woman "checking you out," you need to consider this a "luxury" to seduction. It's not something that's going to happen very often, and it's basically a huge indicator that you can approach a woman with some success. That being said, it absolutely is not necessary, and the majority of women you will (and should) approach will have not seen you yet (or at least you are not "aware" that they have seen you already).

It's like finding the 1-Up mushroom in Mario Brothers -- you may not NEED the extra life if you don't die, but you aren't going to turn away the opportunity to get a free life!

- Franco

 

[Godsninja]

What if your just unaware of it? I noticed that whenever my cat is facing the sliding glass door, it looks at me through the reflection. It took me a few months to realize the cat had the intellect to do this (and that it wasn't just staring off into the night). So, same thing here (and I'm not just talking about reflections...). Something also important mentioned is that girls self monitor, and I heard somewhere that they do aprox once every 30 seconds. Think about that. Girls use their peripherals. Maybe they are checking you out (or maybe you should just assume they are, especially if your confidence is as high as you say it is, and especially if it's letting you down)

This might also be a sign that you'd probably be able to get away with wearing fancier and more vibrant clothing (lucky you).

You also might want to work on your fundamentals, specifically you're body language (specifically, your walk). Get some exercise and/or play some sports! That might help you more than you think.

Another reason why girls aren't reportedly checking you out, is because you're checking them out. Be a little more subtle and natural.

Eye contact can be a lot of fun, but it's one of the most primal things ever, I think that's why everyone says its overrated. Let it be primal!

I agree with everyone else, don't worry about it.... but if what you want is eye contact, I personally think your body language (your walk, but not JUST your walk, your body movement, and where your eyes look, etc, etc), in combination of what your wearing (especially it's color) are the major factors in determining whether a girl will check you out or not.

Unless she's consciously looking for it, it's her subconscious that checks you out first, and these things don't lie.

 

[ray_zorse]

True Franco, but I remember you saying something along the lInes "if you are out with buddies and you want to just chill and hang with your buddies rather than spend the time gaming, then.this can still be okay after you've levelled up to the point where you know with reasonable confidence you can make some targeted approaches near closing time and find someone to take home", I had thought a large part of this was having great EC discipline and collecting IOIs throughout the night in your peripherals so you would know where to put your efforts to best effect, or have I read too much into this?
-Ray

 

[Franco]

ray,

True Franco, but I remember you saying something along the lInes "if you are out with buddies and you want to just chill and hang with your buddies rather than spend the time gaming, then.this can still be okay after you've levelled up to the point where you know with reasonable confidence you can make some targeted approaches near closing time and find someone to take home", I had thought a large part of this was having great EC discipline and collecting IOIs throughout the night in your peripherals so you would know where to put your efforts to best effect, or have I read too much into this?

Yes, this is still true. However, do you think the OP would still be worried about whether or not girls are checking him out if he was already at the point that he can confidently pick up a girl at closing time? =)

Generally, the good thing about hanging out with friends when you go out is that it DOES give you a great opportunity to use your peripherals and start looking for potential candidates that seem interested in you. If you can happen to catch the gazes of a few girls looking your direction without them noticing, you can make a mental note later that this girl seemed like she might have been checking you out, and you can approach her at closing time if she's still around.

Anyway, I generally tend to not even care anymore about whether or not a girl is checking me out. If I DO happen to catch a girl doing that, all it does is make me tell myself that I HAVE to approach this one because my chance of success with her will be much higher than "normal" (with "normal" meaning cold approaching a girl who has not seen me yet).

- Franco