Girls Disqualifying Themselves for Sex - Attainability Issue?

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys,

Ive noticed recently in a couple interactions that women are disqualifying themselves for sex by saying things like:

"Im a respectable woman worth getting to know other than sex"

because Im a sexual guy and they recognize that. So its an attainability issue.

Ive gotten around this by saying something like "Do I want to fuck your brains out and do wonderful things to you? Hell yes. But do I also want to chill, have fun conversations, and get to know you better? Hell yes."

Am I thinking along the right lines? Also, even if I say this to a girl, they usually bring up the same argument again in the future - how can I fix this?

Thanks,

NBW

 

[Sub-Zero]

How much are you deep diving these women? They would only say that if you haven’t gotten to know them well enough.

 

[foggy]

communicate a little bit of commitment. these girls do not want to be pumped and dumped, and it really helps to show them you're gonna hang around.

you can say stuff like....how its really important for you to have chemistry with a girl before you sleep with her. and even if you do sleep with her you need to be certain that you'll see her again. because you used to have a lot of one night stands and they just didnt work for you.

it also helps to introduce hypothetical situations in which you two are together, every so often throughout the interaction. they indicate commitment. "if we were in X city, and Y happened, what would you do?"

im learning how to deal with this objection pre-emptively.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Sub-Zero,

I thought I was deep diving pretty well. But maybe this is something I should revisit and refresh on.

fog,

That's super useful - thank you! I had a feeling I was needing to communicate something like that, but I was unsure how to without setting up potential boyfriend frames. What kind of results have you had using that (just out of curiosity)?

Thanks you two,

NBW

 

[naturalmikey]

i’ll quickly break down qualifying, disqualifying, and the intended and perceived effects of these.

First person qualification: This is when one person tries to make another person(s) aware of positive qualities of said person. This is intended to impress but is usually perceived as low value unless done with tact. Bragging is considered low value behavior and leaves nothing positive to the imagination. It’s like “this guys telling us his high points and it’s privably half lies. he can’t be that great.”

The ideal way to qualify yourself is to inject stories with details that support how awesome you are. Instead of saying that you’re a world traveler, tell a story of an event that occurred in another country. Another way is to make a positive sound like a negative. Negatives about yourself are honest signals. Why would you lie. Even if it can be perceived positively the fact that you view it in a negative light makes it more believable.

First person disqualification: This is when someone says something negative about themselves. This can be intended to be funny (self deprecating humor). This type of humor can be very funny and make you seem humble. It can also make you seem sad and depressive. Never disqualify yourself on something youre insecure about.

Have you ever had a girl tell you she doesn’t think it would work between the two of you because she’s not good enough for you. This type of self disqualifying is intended to make the other person qualify you to you. It is very effective withvirls who are attracted to you. If the level of buy in is low this isn’t gonna make any difference. But if she is interested I might say something like i’m probably too tall for you. When you disqualify something. positive it baits her to qualify you.

I’ll wrote about disqualifying and and qualifying others in a bit.

 

[naturalmikey]

Disqualifying and qualifying others:

Disqualifying other’s is something most guys that weren’t introduced to pickup have no clue about but every woman instead knows. Girls say “we are not having sex” without meaning it at all on the way to my house so often i started beating them to it. I had all the right things to say back. Basically, “who said anything about sex. i don’t even know you.” “oh my god you must think i’m a slut.” What’s equally effective and more fun is to tell the girl “this is really fun but we are not having sex tonight. i know you probably think i’m just like every other guy but i’m not.” she doesn’t even really know what to make of it. But she’s never heard anything like it before so it drives her crazy wanting to know if you’ll fuck her or not. Same effect as when she does it.

Sexual disqualification is very powerful. It’s part of the way you tie your validation to her sense of self worth. The girl has to already be interested in you. If she doesn’t care about your validation this has no effect. Generally I tend to mostly disqualify her for her looks. If she’s really hot and guys have told her that her whole life she can handle it. I’m not gonna disqualify a hot girl on being dumb though. That could be her biggest insecurity and she’d rather tell me to fuck off than look at how dumb she is.

Qualifying girls is important. It makes them feel special. If you have a player vibe you want to make her feel special not like all the others. I like to qualify as rewards. If she does something I like I high five her and tell her “wow i didn’t realize you were so funny.” Qualifying that she’s smart, funny, cool, and different is good. Don’t go overboard. Let her know there’s things you’re discovering you like about her and your starting to feel like maybe she’s not like all the other girls. Not in those words but that’s the message. Telling a girl you feel a weird connection is a good way to qualify a girl also.