Girls in dance class

[Lantern]

Then after isolated you ask some probing questions and let her answer.
Stick to the frame the other guys said:
"Don't want chit chat about us"
"We don't need to pressure ourselves into anything"
"You are cool and fun, love your energy and could definitely get more of it"

Don't bring up anything about boyfriend or relationships.
Let her figure it out by herself.
If she is up to, set a new date at your place or pull right there.

So there will be a dance event organized tomorrow, and she will almost certainly be there. I think what I'll do is to greet her nicely, isolate her early in the evening, and tell her something along those lines. Depending on how she reacts to me greeting her, but like: "Don't want to get into it here and now, just want you to know that I've been enojoying our time together, you're cool and fun, etc., but I don't want us to feel pressure about anything. I want us to hang out this weekend, but no need to tell me now, so for the moment let's just dance and have fun." And if she seems to respond ok to this, I'd text her the day after to set up a meet over the weekend.

If she doesn't I'll just remain cool and polite and go dance and keep being friendly with her, if she changes her mind down the line, but I'll stop any attempt to invite her to something until I see proper signals she's warmed up again potentially.

 

[Lantern]

Haha, well, gentlemen, thank you for helping me stick to my guns and keep radio silence on. One must always remember not to negotiate with terrorists.

Today went like this:

About 2 hours before the event I get a text from her "Are you coming tonight?" "Yes, you?" "Yup. "Great, see you there."

We meet there. I tell her quite shortly "Look I don't want to get into in now, but just know I like you and enjoy spending time with you." She smiles and goes "And I want to apologies, I shouldn't have reacted like that." And then we agree to meet later this week, and spend the rest of the evening dancing.

I kind of hate how effective soft nexting is, lol.

 

[quiteastory]

Haha, well, gentlemen, thank you for helping me stick to my guns and keep radio silence on. One must always remember not to negotiate with terrorists.

Today went like this:

About 2 hours before the event I get a text from her "Are you coming tonight?" "Yes, you?" "Yup. "Great, see you there."

We meet there. I tell her quite shortly "Look I don't want to get into in now, but just know I like you and enjoy spending time with you." She smiles and goes "And I want to apologies, I shouldn't have reacted like that." And then we agree to meet later this week, and spend the rest of the evening dancing.

I kind of hate how effective soft nexting is, lol.

Hey, how is it going with dancing classes? I started dancing a few months ago and I have a lot of women eye-bang me, including some of teachers. I'm not sure how to handle this lol, because I don't want any drama around the place. How has it worked for you lately?

 

[Lantern]

Hey, thanks actually for reviving this thread. I'll give you my answer and I'll what what I learned in the last 2 years, and also I have some questions maybe someone else will give me ideas for.

Frist of all, I wanna say that all the advice I received from the lads in this thread turned out to be spot on. @Regal Tiger gave a great breakdown especially at the start. Read all that, and if anything isn't clear, I can try to give you any additional pointers.

As far as how it went, so I've slept with two girls from the dance scene in these 2 years, the one I mention earlier in the thread, and another that turned into an LTR whcih ended some 2 months ago. The first was 3 or so months of great sex and then she started acting bratty which I didn't have patience for at the time and cut her off. There was no drama with her later, in fact we're cool now, and even more, I have strong suspicions she still has the hots for me, even if she did find a boyfriend in the meanwhile (not a dancer). The LTR started off amazing, and then fizzled out for reasons that I won't get into here. The breakup was basically mutual and no hard feelings. But in any case, no drama whatsoever.

So now the situation is such that there's about 4-5 or so chicks in the scene that a) I find quite attractive b) give me significant IOIs all the time and c) all are in relationships. . The last point is keeping me from doing anything with them, but I've just come up with a plan to test these girls. I'll start asking them if they want to meet up occasionaly and practice dancing one-on-one. At my place. At worse, I'll get some dance practice in, at best, well... we'll see. I'm not too worried about drama TBH.

Something else I want to share is how I got to the point where I got a bunch of women on the scene giving me IOIs (in addition to the girls mentioned above, there's a bunch who seem to like me, but I'm not into them lol). First, great fundamentals in general, and being a warm and sociable guy. Second, I got good at dancing. I took it seriously, meaning, I keep trying to improve and get better, I attended festivals with workshops, learned as much as I could find time for, and after these 2 years I markedly improved. Girls like dancing with me. Thrid, I won the respect of people, especially the old school, more advanced danceres who've been part of the scene for long. How? Well, by taking it seriously, but also, by volountering my time and effort here and there for the benefit of the scene (helping out with logistics when we'd have a bigger event, for example), by doing my best to take part in as many events as I can etc. I also jumped in a few times to DJ at socials when there weren't other people available, taking that seriously as well, which after a couple of session turned into me being one of the more popular DJs of the scene. In short, by being devoted to the hobby and the people who make it I shot up in status of the circle. Combined with good fundamentals as taught by Chase and good social skills, you turn into a very attractive guys in the eyes of the girls on the scene.

And now, the question for any more expirience dudes: any advice on how to pick-up during festivals?
I've been going to a bunch of dance festivals since I started, all over Europe. They usually last for the weekend, or Thursday-Sunday. There's workshops during the day (which sometimes I attend, sometimes not) and then a party every night. Obviously, bunch of women attend, and there's room for seduction, but here are the issues:
1. Logistics. Almost always I go to one of these in a group of friends, and we rent an apartment for the weeked. Other people are either locals to the town where the festival is taking place, or came in a similar arrangement.
2. Time. People come to festivals to dance. These parties at night last until like 1-2 in the morning usually, and then everyone goes home to sleep and get ready for the next day. Noone is rushing to go home with someone early, including me, because you pay good money for these events and I'm not gonna leave the party 2 hours earlier lol. Also, it's hard to isolate a girl, because while you have an oportunity to chat for 5-10 minutes after having a dance with someone, most people are eager to get back on the floor. And going on a long-term strategy doesn't make that much sense, as odds of running into the same girl at another festival are usually low.
So I'm kind of out of ideas, if anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate.

 

[quiteastory]

Hey, thanks actually for reviving this thread. I'll give you my answer and I'll what what I learned in the last 2 years, and also I have some questions maybe someone else will give me ideas for.

Frist of all, I wanna say that all the advice I received from the lads in this thread turned out to be spot on. @Regal Tiger gave a great breakdown especially at the start. Read all that, and if anything isn't clear, I can try to give you any additional pointers.

As far as how it went, so I've slept with two girls from the dance scene in these 2 years, the one I mention earlier in the thread, and another that turned into an LTR whcih ended some 2 months ago. The first was 3 or so months of great sex and then she started acting bratty which I didn't have patience for at the time and cut her off. There was no drama with her later, in fact we're cool now, and even more, I have strong suspicions she still has the hots for me, even if she did find a boyfriend in the meanwhile (not a dancer). The LTR started off amazing, and then fizzled out for reasons that I won't get into here. The breakup was basically mutual and no hard feelings. But in any case, no drama whatsoever.

So now the situation is such that there's about 4-5 or so chicks in the scene that a) I find quite attractive b) give me significant IOIs all the time and c) all are in relationships. . The last point is keeping me from doing anything with them, but I've just come up with a plan to test these girls. I'll start asking them if they want to meet up occasionaly and practice dancing one-on-one. At my place. At worse, I'll get some dance practice in, at best, well... we'll see. I'm not too worried about drama TBH.

Something else I want to share is how I got to the point where I got a bunch of women on the scene giving me IOIs (in addition to the girls mentioned above, there's a bunch who seem to like me, but I'm not into them lol). First, great fundamentals in general, and being a warm and sociable guy. Second, I got good at dancing. I took it seriously, meaning, I keep trying to improve and get better, I attended festivals with workshops, learned as much as I could find time for, and after these 2 years I markedly improved. Girls like dancing with me. Thrid, I won the respect of people, especially the old school, more advanced danceres who've been part of the scene for long. How? Well, by taking it seriously, but also, by volountering my time and effort here and there for the benefit of the scene (helping out with logistics when we'd have a bigger event, for example), by doing my best to take part in as many events as I can etc. I also jumped in a few times to DJ at socials when there weren't other people available, taking that seriously as well, which after a couple of session turned into me being one of the more popular DJs of the scene. In short, by being devoted to the hobby and the people who make it I shot up in status of the circle. Combined with good fundamentals as taught by Chase and good social skills, you turn into a very attractive guys in the eyes of the girls on the scene.

And now, the question for any more expirience dudes: any advice on how to pick-up during festivals?
I've been going to a bunch of dance festivals since I started, all over Europe. They usually last for the weekend, or Thursday-Sunday. There's workshops during the day (which sometimes I attend, sometimes not) and then a party every night. Obviously, bunch of women attend, and there's room for seduction, but here are the issues:
1. Logistics. Almost always I go to one of these in a group of friends, and we rent an apartment for the weeked. Other people are either locals to the town where the festival is taking place, or came in a similar arrangement.
2. Time. People come to festivals to dance. These parties at night last until like 1-2 in the morning usually, and then everyone goes home to sleep and get ready for the next day. Noone is rushing to go home with someone early, including me, because you pay good money for these events and I'm not gonna leave the party 2 hours earlier lol. Also, it's hard to isolate a girl, because while you have an oportunity to chat for 5-10 minutes after having a dance with someone, most people are eager to get back on the floor. And going on a long-term strategy doesn't make that much sense, as odds of running into the same girl at another festival are usually low.
So I'm kind of out of ideas, if anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate.

Thanks for the long response and advice!

I agree that strong fundementals and building up your status is the key. I'm very good with women in general and a very socially aware person. I'm friendly, i talk and dance with everyone, i flirt a little bit with the girls i like, but don't push hard for anything to happen. I kinda warm them up for something happen in the future, I'm in no rush.

I still haven't gone for any local dancing event, but i plan to go soon. What I do is going out to other classes (where I'm not a regular) and this works like a charm, because I'm treated as this exciting guy outside of social circle, where women don't know if they'll see me again. I'm not sure which girl I should choose to pull, because all of them are hot lol

In regards of festivals which I also though - I'd aim to go by yourself if you can afford it, not sure how to handle your girl's social circle though. And I'm also not sure how to handle time issue, like you said, time for escalation is pretty short.

 

[POB]

Parties and festivals, if you go with a group, you gotta cater to the group first.
Remember, dancing is all about social game....if you burn yourself up with your own group, you are pretty much done in the local cummunity.
(I've seen that happen, it's not pretty...all girls will just stop talking to you like you have a perma yeast infection...even the ones outside your group will churn your ass).

Kudos on the lays though, well done!

 

[Derek da man]

Your back ground and history sounds very similar to mine. I've written quite a few previous posts about dance type events and experiences so I won't type them here again. I also dance Ballroom as well which had similar dynamics but the crowd is much older. I have managed to date several girls from SBK with the excuse of taking them to a ballroom event and closing from there as it becomes much more 1 on 1.

I've been to quite a few festivals, or congresses as they used to be. Most have been 50-250 people although I've been to one several times that has 4,500 people over the long weekend. I'm not suggesting I'm any kind of authority but I'm happy to share my observations if it helps others as you've been good enough to share your insights. I'm not a day/night game type of person, I tend to take a bit longer to warm a girl up but will move quickly when I get a green light which you can at festivals. Even so, I don't consider myself a PUA, just taking advantages of opportunities that present themselves.

1. Logistics. Almost always I go to one of these in a group of friends, and we rent an apartment for the weeked. Other people are either locals to the town where the festival is taking place, or came in a similar arrangement.
2. Time. People come to festivals to dance. These parties at night last until like 1-2 in the morning usually, and then everyone goes home to sleep and get ready for the next day. Noone is rushing to go home with someone early, including me, because you pay good money for these events and I'm not gonna leave the party 2 hours earlier lol. Also, it's hard to isolate a girl, because while you have an oportunity to chat for 5-10 minutes after having a dance with someone, most people are eager to get back on the floor. And going on a long-term strategy doesn't make that much sense, as odds of running into the same girl at another festival are usually low.
So I'm kind of out of ideas, if anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate.

Regarding logistics, I either have my own accommodation like a studio apartment or hotel room. I may share with a friend if they are looking to pull as well and we work on the basis that we will message each other if we have been successful and are going back to our room and then do each other the courtesy of giving the other space for an hour or so before going back and catching up.

The time thing I'm less able to help with. I'm a bit older than some and after about 1 in the morning I'm going to bed even if I haven't been successful. A lot of SBK events run until 3 or 4am and some even 6.30am and that just isn't for me.

At festivals there are always groups and I'm often part of a group from the area I dance in. Quite a lot of them have accommodation together while some just rent rooms. It's often down to price and affordability as well as individuals travel arrangements etc. Sometimes there can be 20-30 of us but often it's just me or a few others in a small group.

My experience from festivals and the like. is that there are always girls that are looking for sex. They don't advertise it but they are there and for some of them it is primarily why they have come. Yes they like dancing but it's really an excuse to go away without their other half. They have plausible deniability. Chat and lightly flirt with lots of girls but questions/routines that I use are below. These should be used as part of a longer conversation after having danced 1 or 2 dances with her and then moving away from the dance floor area so she doesn't get asked to go back onto the floor again. A bit like an isolation but nothing too far at this stage. I also agree that some girls have just come to dance and you need to filter these out quite quickly so you don't waste time and energy on a girl that is a dead end. Don't get me wrong, you can still enjoy dancing and flirting with her but keep your eye on the prize as they say.

-Are you here with your BF -Usually they say "No I'm here with my friend" or with a group of friends - if she's on her own or with just a single friend then it's a very strong sign that's why she's there. She will often also offer that she has a BF whether she has one or not. My question shows her that I'm interested, the fact that she says she has a BF is just here not wanting to look easy. It doesn't mean she's not interested.

-As I'm a little older than some I will try and work into the conversation that ".I don't want to get a reputation as 'creepy old man'", this usually creates a bit of a laugh, I carry on with ". . it's a bit like girls don't want to get the slut label because they like sex. Every girl I've ever met loves sex and lots of it but they need to be very careful and discrete to protect their reputation". This tells the girl that you understand that girls like sex and you will protect her reputation making her feel safer with you. At this point I start to try and create a bit of a bubble around us and make conversations softer, closer and more intimate. Yes I am a bit older but I know I don't come across as a creep as I dress well and I'm not handsy and lots of girls have told me I'm not. I also get girls asking me for dances lots and they wouldn't do that if I was.

-After a bit of conversation and light flirting, maybe some banter depending on your connection, I then say "come on let me lead you into a litter more mischief" with a cheeky smile and taking her hand to lead her back to the floor for another couple of dances. This shows confidence and strength to lead. After the dance I'll say "you're such a GOOD GIRL" emphasising those words. Some girls will just let them flow over them and won't notice, others will go weak at the knees. Often they will lower their heads and look-up at you with big glassy eyes which is a sign she loves to be very submissive. Whatever her response you need to stand tall, show a slight smile and make strong eye contact without saying anything before taking her back into a close hold and start another dance. After the dance it's time to isolate by either going to the bar, outside for fresh air or a glass of wine in your room - whatever as long as it has plausible deniability. If she's not that interested move on try elsewhere, come back to her later in the evening, etc. Don't give up but equally don't waste too long on one girl.

Another thing I've found useful at festivals is the best know dating app. Once you're there set it to the lowest distance possible, 1 mile/km, and then swipe away. If you're on the free version you need to do this immediately you arrive in the area and then keep doing it whenever you get more swipes. This has been successful on 3 occasions as girls at the festivals do exactly the same thing.

When it comes to weekly or occasional socials I think you're pretty much spot on. Keep your reputation intact and only do things on the quiet as girls wan this arrangement too.

 

[Lantern]

Thanks Derek, some good ideas there. We'll see how it goes with festivals, I'm not too worried about it because I primarily go for the dancing, but it would be a shame to miss on an available girl or two if opportunity arises.

I still think the tricikest bit is getting them off the dance floor/party and to hers/mine. I'm thinking it might be a better approach to use the party to do what you say there, and if it doesn't seem likely a pull can be done that night, then set up a "let's hang out at my apartment a bit tomorrow during the day, I've found one with a nice terrace/minibar/fishtank/whateverplasuibledeniabilitybullshit" or something to that effect.