Girls Intimidate Me!

[Anonymous]

Hello all,

My name is Moe, I'm 19 and new here. This is basically my first post. First I want to thank Girls Chase team, and specially Chase Amante! I bought your book Chase, freakin genius!

Any ways, I've always had a hard time time with girls. I don't really know why but I think it's because I have some sort of brain freezing anxiety that kicks whenever I try to talk, or even be around new girls (friends of friends.) I didn't really believe in all the self help books and I actually thought they were all a big rip off. As a result I made a promise to myself that I will enjoy life with or without girls and that there are other aspects in life other than game. After two years of keeping my promise I decided to break it, realizing how stupid it was. Sure life is not all game, but it would be a lot more fun with game included.

Funny thing is, I'm a state champion boxer so I'm not one to get intimidated easily. Just throw a girl in the ring and I will be knocked the FU** off my feet haha, No seriously I want to fix these brain freezes, not knowing what to say , not knowing how to keep the convo going, what to talk about and so on.

PS: I didn't finish Chase Amante's Make Girls Chase book yet, although I don't really understand the pre-openers, and hook part. I'm also from the middle east (Easy there guys, I fu**ing love America, believe it or not some of us are actually civilized) so I didn't really understand what "repartee" actually means, even with the explanation.

A little expert, "game specialist", analysis of my condition wouldn't hurt. I'm not actually bad looking, I mean I have a sort of toned body with a broad chest, a sharp, edgy dirty beard, brown hair and eyes so I know it's not about my look.

Seriously what is it guys? and how to fix this?

Don't laugh guys but I've always dreamed to be surrounded by girls Hey you want what you can't have right?

Thank you!

Moe.

 

[Skid]

Welcome to the boards!

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewt ... ?f=13&t=34


Good luck

Skid

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey dude welcome. Your story is not too unusual don't worry! A lot of genius seducers started out just like you. Initially you might have to work hard for incremental gains but don't worry this gives you an unbelievably detailed understanding of seduction and how girls think, i.e. a very solid foundation that naturals, popular guys, jocks etc don't have... a big advantage.

Congratulations on buying the book, this is 100% the best investment you could ever have made. When I read it I was like "holy shit it is possible to get girls!"... if I could summarize the book it is something like "Part A fundamentals. Part B value/attainability/compliance model. Part C process." If I were you I would (1) immediately commit to putting everything in the book into practice starting now (2) avoid the temptation to read ahead or think "oh hey that sounds easy now that I read the book I am a badass seducer" (3) reread fundamentals material until you understand it properly, then go shopping for stuff like new tighter clothes, boots, jewellery and simultaneously start putting into practice the body and conversation fundamentals -- like talk to people everywhere you go, stand straight and tall with shoulders back, practice your sexy dominant walk and moving slower, don't lean in to conversations or qualify yourself, strong eye contact etc.

You will be amazed what a huge difference these small changes will make collectively in how you interact with people and the reactions you get. In some cases a lifetime's habit can be hard to break (I still lean in to conversations too much but I am working on it all the time) but nevertheless these are basically the low hanging fruit, changes you can make with relatively little investment and without really getting out of your comfort zone too much. You need the confidence boost that good fundamentals and resulting good reactions will bring.

Next thing to remember is principle is different from practice, you can have the most amazing insight and understanding of seduction but as soon as you get out in the field you will make tons of rookie mistakes and your confidence will take a beating. You need to get out and talk to lots of girls. Once it becomes routine you won't freeze up anymore. Follow the link of Skid's to see how. This is basically equivalent to the exercises in the book, but I recommend to use Skid's link and also to start a journal in journals section to report progress.

Repartee means "back and forth" like a conversation that resembles a game of ping-pong. Example

You: hey there, looking good today.. like the ripped jeans, can you rip some for me?
Her: haha it's from topshop pre ripped my friend.. how about you, got a bikie look going but do you actually have a bike?
You: innocent your Honour! My three-piece suit was at the dry cleaners (chuckling) seriously you look very nice, is there a Goth festival today?

So here you are just kidding around and poking fun at each other, but you want to be careful to do it with a twinkle in your eye and smiles and be light hearted and fun, as it can easily get into personal insult territory without you intending it. Chase advises that a couple of lines of banter/repartee is enough, and I heartily concur, unless you are really vibing on a theme with lots of callback humour it'd be wise to change subjects.

Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Hey man,

that's ringing a bell from my own teenage years. There were girls around me, some that I knew for a fact were interested, but the words wouldn't get out of my mouth. Brain freeze. That handicaped me for years with girls.

I recommend highly that you study seduction, and this site is the best place, it works if you commit to the learning.

However, if you want to take away only one effective thing for now, take this:

Don't try to fight against the brain freeze. Instead, just take her hand. That will tell her every thing she has to know, without you saying a damn word. You don't have to communicate your attraction for her, you already did by taking her hand.

It did the trick for me, back in my years, but it took me years to figure it out.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Bboy100]

Hey dude, my story is the exact same as yours. You sound literally like me of three years ago. I too was a top caliber athlete in high school (not quite state champ, but close. Had I not been cutoff my senior year, I would have been a serious competitor for it). My sport had created an incredible amount of resilience and willpower within me. ...But still, I was scared shitless to even be around girls. All the willpower in the world wouldn't allow me to approach girls because my body literally froze up. I was willing myself to move, but my body didn't respond (this is known as "freeze" from the fight/flight response).

Here's how you solve the problem:
Make girl friends. They don't have to be hot. They don't have to be girls you're sexually interested in at all. That's the #1 thing you can do. When I got to college, I more or less incidentally made a bunch of friends who were girls. After a while, I started to feel a lot more comfortable around girls in general.

How do you do that? Just put yourself around girls. Not necessarily via cold approach (although like everyone else said, you should go ahead and get started on that too!), but just by doing stuff where there are girls (e.g. a cooking class). If you're in college pretty much anything social will probably put you around girls. If not, you might have to go out of your way to figure out a low-pressure environment where you can interact with girls. Whatever it is you have to do, do it.

Also, clarificatory question:

Are you talking about a general fear of girls? Or are you talking about a fear of cold approaching a new girl you haven't met yet? Because those are two totally different things which have totally different solutions.

 

[readjusting]

I have a similar problem.

Just today I saw an exceptionally hot blonde in the bookstore. She was reading a book. She had the "hot lawyer chick" vibe and I was indimidated. I didn't dare to approach her. Finally I thought "YOLO" and approached her. Turned out she was normal. I just asked which book she was reading, we chatted a little bit, then I was off.
And yesterday I saw a very hot blonde sat by the fountain. Similar story, I was indimidated, but turned out she was normal.

Every time I saw a hot girl, I was indimidated. I could approach them, but I gave off an "I'm intimidated by you" vibe, which was not conductive for seduction.

How do you overcome that, or at least shut down that vibe?