Girls keep putting me in auto rejection

[sn350]

I'm having some serious problem getting girls to like me for the long haul. My approaches are good, first impression is also good, and my first date is typically good. I'm not a starter, I've been doing this over 2 years now. I have got multiple girls to bed. My problem lies AFTER getting the girl. Like all of a sudden they stop talking to me and put me in auto-rejection!

For the girls I do sleep with on the first date, they reject me thinking it was only a one-night stand.

For the girls that I don't sleep with put me in auto-rejection bc they think all I want from them is sex!

That may be true BUT it's also bc I am trying to get them. Apparently it's not working bc they think if they have sex with me that I win and only get the satisfaction of taking their panties off.

I ran an experiment where I found a girl I was interested in and did not sleep with and tried to show more affection to see what works for ME.

STILL DOESN'T WORK! and I feel it didn't work bc I feel I was not sexual enough to her. Then again, if I to become sexual it sets the frame that is all I am going for.

I always push for the sex but I feel it pressures the girls to where they feel like this is all I am going for.

I've lost a lot sexy girls with quality whom I was interested and after happening to me a handful of times, it can get pretty irritating guys.

This used to not bother me so much bc I was happy just getting laid. After a while your mind always wants something more or different.

That is when I decided to step up the notch, and decided I want to actually keep some of these girls in the circle, but I am having a difficult time doing that as well.

 

[sn350]

Let me tell you guys about my very last girl I was working on.

I met this girl on a Uni campus she was hooked on me instantaneously, got her out the next day, went to a coffee shop.

Inside the coffee shop she goes off telling me she didn't like me she didn't like it when I touched her and I acted too much of a show-off, and that she wouldn't see me again.

Of course I ignore her words and continue how I was being (knowing this is why she came and saw me). BTW she tells me she has a bf, but later tells me they are broken up. She's full of tests and shit.

By the end of the night she's interested in me... we're hugging, but she wouldn't kiss me.

I tried but not to come off as I am trying too hard and eventually didn't happen and she went home.

NEXT DAY:

She comes out to see me again... we go for walk by the river as it rains we sit underneath a covered area where we share hugs and mostly talk.

Afterwards I take her to a private place with a sofa.

I wanted to experiment and as we were laying there I did not even touch her. Towards the end I made my move for the kiss and she FINALLY gives in.

Awesome... things went well...

I asked her to stay the night with me in a hotel. Which she reluctantly declines and THEN she makes up an excuse telling me she was on her period! oh, god I wanted to pull my hair out, but stayed cool.

I tried to talk her out of it, but she still refuses. She tells me she wants to get to know me first before having sex. And she isn't some prude either, we talked about sex a lot she loves it but tells me she was on her period. THen tells me shit like, "What? would I not want to have sex with you? of course I do. I just can't because I am on my period and it hurts when I have sex on it."

I then again tried to let her know it will be okay with me. She's still refusing.

By the end of the night she started to look really down.

WTF

That is when she decided to take a cab home.

I let her go with a kiss...

I send her a text msg two days later and she has yet to reply. I sent her two texts back to back. Which I never do but decided to give it a shot.

STill not reply.

How do maintain this balance to show I like her ( bc I really did like her) with getting sexual and not looking like that is all I want from her.

In this site it goes to show how important sleeping with the girl on the first date is... which yes, I do agree however I sometimes feel it ruins my game bc it shows that is all I am going after only.

 

[Drck]

I'm just wondering how was the first sex? I'm sure you like it but does she? If she liked it she would most likely want more...

I'm not trying to be harsh but maybe she was even disappointed, she expected much more and you didn't didn't meet her expectation (about having sex with you). This could happen, for example, when you look quite sexy and present yourself as sexy guy - but your performace is below average... Sometimes you have to put your ego aside and look at the whole interaction from different point of view...

Or, maybe there is not enough affection, it is just too physical... which is good if you just want to have sex, but not if you want to keep her around...

You most likely look (as you describe) as a guy who wants to have sex only. You don't look like a lover (in a sense what GC talks about here). She is interested in the experience, but once she gets the experience she is gone. It was "just sex" for her with sexy guy but no further meaning, no emotional connection...

 

[Franco]

sn350,

In this site it goes to show how important sleeping with the girl on the first date is... which yes, I do agree however I sometimes feel it ruins my game bc it shows that is all I am going after only.

This all really depends on how you're going about getting these girls. This worries me:

Inside the coffee shop she goes off telling me she didn't like me she didn't like it when I touched her and I acted too much of a show-off

It sounds like you might be using techniques from other websites which are ineffective at building a connection with women. When you converse with women (especially on a date), it really needs to be about them and NOT about you. It sounds like girls are rejecting you as a long-term prospect because they don't have an emotional connection with you. You need to work on your ability to deep dive with them and get them talking about their goals and their dreams so that they can build a deeper connection with you.

Also, another sticking point can be your treatment of them after sex. After your first time together, they need to still feel warmth and attraction toward you or they will feel bad about the hookup. This can be things such as "pillow talk" and just cuddling but also things such as having breakfast together the next morning to cement the fact that you care. Also, how long it takes you to contact the girl and what you say to her can affect this as well. You should be contacting these women about 3-5 hours after they've left your place with a simple text such as, "Hey Jenna, I had a really great time last night. I hope you did too " so that they know it wasn't just a way of getting your rocks off. After that, you should be contacting them within 3-4 days to set up the next meet.

There's lots of reasons girls will go cold on you after sex, so you'll have to start pinpointing where the issue is when you're running your seduction. Are women feeling forced into sex with you without a connection? Are they feeling like you don't care about them afterward? What have you tried so far?

Make sure you can answer all of those questions. =)

- Franco

 

[sn350]

@Franco

Is it honestly, that important I try and sleep with the girl on the first date?

I swear, esp the girls I get more interested in I lose because I push for sex.

It's going all good, but once I initiate or get them to a private place they start to feel awkward knowing this is only our first time out. A few days ago with another girl, she walked out on after we started making out. She was into the kiss, but then once I started going further, it's like she changed her mind in a heartbeat!

I almost have this fear of losing the girl if I don't sleep with her, so I persist even harder, she catches on and backs off, then I have to try to talk her into it logically. I know girls don't think logically when it comes to this stuff so basically I know it's not gonna happen or at least it'll be super hard to get her to sleep w me.

Any suggestion or comment I would really appreciate it.

I have a new date today which I want to practice on. She's from the Middle East so I know how they are with sex before marriage. Is this something I shouldn't push sex?

 

[Franco]

sn350,

Is it honestly, that important I try and sleep with the girl on the first date?

If you want the highest percentage chance that you sleep with a girl (and thus increase your chances of her wanting to become your girlfriend), then yes. Otherwise, no. =)

Given that Chase doesn't even bother going past first dates anymore, that should give you an idea of how he feels about bedding girls beyond the first date. He even references this in his "Advanced" section in the article I Don't Chase 'Em, I Replace 'Em. This is worth a read if you haven't read through it already.

He does say "1-2" dates, although I know he pretty much keeps it to only 1 date these days or moves on.

It's going all good, but once I initiate or get them to a private place they start to feel awkward knowing this is only our first time out. A few days ago with another girl, she walked out on after we started making out. She was into the kiss, but then once I started going further, it's like she changed her mind in a heartbeat!

It could be that you need to work on your vibe while pushing for sex. Maybe you're trying to be too logical when addressing her concerns (which can actually come across as manipulative). Either way, you should always EXPECT last-minute resistance with a girl if she's in bed with you on the first date. I consider it a "freebie" these days if a girl just lets me right in without giving me at least token LMR. But if you're getting girls not wanting to see you again consistently, then there's a flaw in your approach toward building comfort with her, whether that's you not deep diving enough and getting to know her or you not addressing her concerns in a fun and exciting way (rather than a logical one). She needs to feel like she wasn't manipulated into having sex with you and that she arrived at the decision on her own.

Keep in mind that not every girl you sleep with, regardless of how well you perform your seduction, will necessarily want to keep seeing you. Sometimes you'll come across women who were just looking for one night of fun. But again, if you're seeing this very consistently, it probably means there's something you're doing wrong (and you're not noticing) that's causing these women to have buyer's remorse. So just be consciously aware of what it might be that is flipping that switch in them.

- Franco

 

[sn350]

Hey Franco Thanks for the awesome reply!

Here's an update that I talked about in this post...

I mentioned about a girl who would not sleep with me bc she wants to get to know me better.

Well, it turns out I accidentally ran into her while walking over to meet a buddy of mine yesterday.

I'm not the type to get all sappy and emotional in front of a girl I like and beg her to go out with me again, but I did have a brief chat with her about seeing me again. I kept it some-what friendly with some smiles and just being laid back.

She ignored a few of my texts previously, which I asked about and she confronted that it only feels like I'm only about "Sex" and nothing more with her.

The thing is... I'm really not. I actually do like this girl. I can tell she still has something for me too, judging by her body language and not her words.

I'm not being a one-itus with her either. I even approached a few really hot ones the day I met her and got their numbers.

But this one challenges me a bit and really holds my interest up. And goddamn she is sexy. Like when she walks in front of me she purposely puts on a sexy walk to show off her little round ass to me bc she knows I like her ass.

I can move on though, I'm not gonna go all depressed if I lose her.

But I want to know an opinion or two on what I should I do to go about this.

Should I be persistent in a cool way and try to get her out. Or just break contact?

(She's the girl that I try to have sex with 2 times and went on 2 dates with who at the end told me she was on her period *Could be lying tho*)

I would appreciate any comment or advice!

Thanks!

SN

 

[Franco]

sn350,

Should I be persistent in a cool way and try to get her out. Or just break contact?

(She's the girl that I try to have sex with 2 times and went on 2 dates with who at the end told me she was on her period *Could be lying tho*)

If we've been in the same bed together, I don't have a problem inviting a girl over again to make another attempt at getting to sex. As long as she isn't playing games about meeting up with you, then there's no reason you can't try again. But if she starts playing games or tries to get you to chase her over text (by constantly trying to invite her out and having her decline), then should probably cut her off.

Also, if you do get her to follow your lead, it would probably be worth just having her come over to your place to cook dinner together since you've already been on two dates with her.

- Franco