Girls responding to nervous signs

Richard

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Guys, my biggest problem and currently my biggest physiological and psychological setback with women is, when I feel like I'm making an idiot out of myself socially (tends to happen a bit of the time) my face turns red and gets flustered, I feel like I'm sweating and I'm really not. How do women perceive this (18-25 year old mindset) and how can I stop this and really get going with this?
 

Good Vibes

Cro-Magnon Man
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When ever you make an idiot of yourself be the first to make fun of yourself and the situation before someone does.

It's not the mistakes you make in life that matter, it's how you recover from it that matters.
 

Richard

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True, but usually in actuality, I'm not making a fool of myself, its self imposed pressure where sometimes I feel like the other person is judging me, and then I feel it and get nervous even though I know this isn't the case, and that's what I'm trying to be rid of, that self imposed pressure. My zodiac sign fits me perfectly, it states that most pisces tend to prefer comfort before sexuality, and that's definitely me, I can have brilliant conversations with people I'm comfortable with, but not outright strangers, its held me back for a while now.
 

Flames

Cro-Magnon Man
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Hi Zphix,

I'm exactly the same, the way I look at it is this, it's really no big deal, honestly it's not. I had a similar thing yesterday I got tag teamed by 3 girls at work when I had to ask which one was in charge of a job, one of them said "Which one would you like to be in charge?". They proceed to flutter thier eyes at me. It really embarressed me TBH and that's the way it goes you win some you lose some it's no big deal. I just took a breath, smiles and came up with a reply (though for the life of me I can't remember what I said)

The problem in other words is not that someone is judging you it's that your judging you :)
 

Nuncle

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Just push through it, focusing on the end goal of learning to be more socially adept rather than the actual interaction itself.
 

superflirt

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Flames,

the same thing just happened to me recently at work and it really tripped me out.

I have the same type of question as Zphix because I would like to know what the other people are thinking in their heads when they see this; how noticeable even is it?; and what can be done to just STOP the negative thought spiral that begins to occur.

I was in a meeting at work and came into the room by myself. At the conference-like table all 5 of the HOTTEST girls on my team were sitting side-by-side on the opposite side of the table. I've been working out, eating really healthy and getting into really good shape lately and having read more girls chase articles than a normal person, I carry myself pretty well also. Anyway, I came into the room and saw them and all of them looked at me with attracted eyes. Now,
I don't know if anyone else here deals with this, but once i feel like, "Oh shit, all these girls like me," this is what starts going through my head: "...gotta stay on top of my shit... don't fuck it up... ...don't make eye contact and look needy... talk to someone next to me and look somewhat aloof.... okay now look at them [I'll look at one girl] ..oh shit, that was kind of awkward.... she probably can feel that I'm thinking these nervous thoughts... Can she feel that im thinking these nervous thoughts?... or do i just look like an aloof dickhead... do i look like a pompous asshole who can only give a girl a glance and then i dismiss her? .... Oh shit i wonder if my face is getting red... Can they tell im nervous... Lean back.... look at the boss.... he's talking about important shit right now..... But if i pay attention to his bullshit, then i cant focus on making my lips look like Daniel Craig's... These girls like it when my lips and eyes look like Daniel Craig's.... Are they paying attention to my lips and eyes or are they just feeling this nervous energy.... We all know what the boss is talking about and most of us don't care so they're probably thinking about the cute boy on the team... (Me)... and they're probably thinking "Why is he acting all nervous?".... Is that what they're thinking? ... What the fuck!... Get it together man!.... Why am i even thinking like this? .. .. What is causing me to think like this.... I don't want to be cast out of the group.. that's why... I don't want the girls to notice me or feel my nervous energy and then tell the other girls "He gets nervous, stay away from him." or make fun of me to the other girls because then i will utterly and completely lose my sexual value on the marketplace and never be able to reproduce [goes the thinking, WHICH IS BULLSHIT by the way! It's not true it's just our body's natural adrenaline or fear especially if you're coming from a more scarcity mindset (I know I am). Gotta in increase my abundance mindset when feeling this way, I think.] ...Holy shit... What if the boss asks me a question about what he just said? ... Fuck , I have no idea what the hell he's talking about... I'll have to think quickly if he calls on me to say something... Then everyone will look at me and get to process my nervousness with undivided attention, lol...... *Restart negative thought spiral/loop at "Oh shit I wonder if my face is getting red... Can they tell im nervous?... Lean back .... etc. etc. etc.

It kind of helped to write out what was specifically going on in my brain at that moment.... What ended up happening that day was i KIND OF fidgetted throughout the meeting but for the most part just tried to focus on how relaxed I usually look to people and that if it WAS noticeable, i would just say i had a lot of things on my mind at the moment... I forced myself to ask a good and valuable question towards the end of my bosses monologue so that I wasn't just completely silent the whole meeting. Anyways, Whenever I feel like that, it feels like death is creeping upon me or something and that I'll never be able to bounce back or act fun and cheerful EVER AGAIN and that NO ONE will ever want to talk to me again, WHICH just ISN'T the case. After the meeting while we were walking back to our regular desks, I chatted up a girl I kind of know from the team and we started joking around a little. I still felt incredibly nervous and unsure if anyone noticed my thunderstorm of nervousness that happened inside me, but it honestly seemed like no one did. And even if they did is it better to just imagine and act like they didn't? I would think so...

I don't know if that story is relateable but i hope its helpful in some way. The way I see it is that, I may have taken like a knock in attraction... That's it. Like mortal kombat or something when you're fighting you have a health bar that rejuvinates over time. I got punched a couple times, that's it... My attraction was high, probably almost full, when i walked in. But without displaying ATTRACTING qualities, ok, without BUILDING ATTRACTION with things like Elite Eye Contact , VISIBLY talking to other people around me, being comfortable and relaxed, KNOWING that I'm going to WIN in the end, FLIRTING WITH the HOT GIRLS by "accidentally" flicking my pen at them or something just to stay socially active; WITHOUT doing those kinds of things and just SITTING THERE, slightly fidgetting, it's like taking a couple punches from Scorpion or Subzero, THAT'S IT. The attraction bar just goes down a little bit, BUT it's nothing like a FATALITY or anything! and when you can get into a different setting or you have a good chance in the meeting to display some attractive qualities (i.e. ask a good question that the majority of the team can BENEFIT from, with some good voice tonality) That's when your attraction bar goes back up. Maybe? I don't know. But the way i see it is, attraction is REALLY EASY to BUILD QUICKLY; while it takes a while to lose it. You could let the attraction bar go down really low and then ask this really dope question that makes everyone think "Oh yeah, i didnt even think about that..." with strong, George Clooney vocals and Daniel Craig eyes, and All of a sudden the attraction bar just got a big boost and is back to full or nearly 100%... helpful???? maybe, hopefully

That's just whats on my mind right now, any additional suggestions for dealing with these situations or actual thoughts from girls would be great to know for sures
 

Richard

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Holy fuck - talk about a throwback question of mine.

I put this up when I first started this site and had almost no prior experience with women. It's nice looking back on this knowing I've improved so much since originally posting stuff like this!
 

superflirt

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its weird because these things happen and if you just bounce back from it, you're fine... You just keep going and doing your thing and treat it as a one-off thing. That's not you, your unique, sexy, intriguing self is you and you're always getting better
 

Flames

Cro-Magnon Man
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It's usually a test, they do it to try and throw you off your game. If you just stay in frame your fine, if you don't you've effectively 'lost', at least this round ;)
 

Big Daddy

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Holy fuck Richard, its so weird looking back at questions like this and realize that you progressed to fucking fast!

I mean it ;)
 
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