Girl's Taking Long to Reply Even Though They Texted First

[Troy]

I'm confused as to why a girl would text me first then take too long to reply or not reply. Lots of guys are constantly texting girls boring stuff and the girl's reply. What should I do when a girl texts me and constantly stops texting me? She shows interest then takes it back. It's not like I said anything bad.

And what do I do when some girls text then take long to reply? Should I tell them they take too long?

Troy

 

[Nuffsaid]

Wassup Troy,
A lot of times girls are really hot to cold especially over text. I'm not sure who put it up, but a recent post was made on the boards about girls being cold over text and that's completely fine. It's just how it is, they don't apply themselves as much as they would when actually with a guy. Sometimes when a girl texts me first, I will actually wait a bit to respond, maybe a day or so. Other times I'll respond right then, occasionally I'll wait like 10 minutes. This shows a girl that you're exclusive, you aren't going to chase her the minute she shows interest and that's a big key to her responses. If you take the long route and wait a day don't apologize, respond like you just got it. Sometimes your first text needs to be a mirror to what she sends. I'd say if she sends "hey jake! Glad we found each other let's get together soon!" I like to keep my response simple almost to the point where I seem bored like " hey (girls name) sounds great. I'll let you know when I'm free" don't immerse yourself too much. Don't overthink the process, but that's just a little tip I go by. I like to get the first response text short and to the point if she texts first, not being too excited but not just lame. Then you can start to get witty and have fun with your responses. If she takes forever I always tell her In a very very playful way. Just hint at the idea she needs to speed up don't fall out tell her lol I suggest deep diving and building rapport and she will be more comfortable setting up a date. If you get the text from a girl that is "hey" she wants you to chase. Don't do it man. I like to use the read receipts on iPhones, so she can see that I read it and didn't respond. Then a couple hours later I'll text her back and say " so sorry (girls name or nickname) caught me at a busy time, I couldn't get those paparazzi off of me" give her a playful topic to work with is what I'm saying I suppose. Hope this answers your question if not, hit me up because I typed this on the fly and prolly forgot about one thing that you were asking


Cheers
Jake

 

[Troy]

Hey Jake,

Then you can start to get witty and have fun with your responses

That is the main problem ( getting a flirty conversation where we have mutual interest ). When I use whatsapp the conversation is more fun. I very much dislike using words alone. On whatsapp I can send audio, pictures, videos, and voice calls.. if I meet a girl that doesn't have a phone that can receive images I usually ignore her texts ( because I fear sending and receiving boring texts ).

Sometimes I don't know what to say. Over time me and the girl stop communicating because of boredom. I just want to be like all those other guy's that have girls texting them and never getting bored. The players are saying things that keep them hooked.

I've tried reframing my questions and still I get short answers. Most times I'll send funny pictures and all girl's say is " lol " then leave me to ask another question or make a statement. If you saw some of those conversations you'd think I'm being try hard. The girl's put out very little effort " a lol " while I'm sending pics. Whenever I put out less effort that's when they stop replying. I will deep dive others but many times I feel I'm not being heard since they don't deep dive me or try to continue the chat.

Troy

 

[Smith]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-text-girls-20-more-tips-and-techniques

 

[Troy]

Another major concern is having to ignore women's texts. Not every girl I meet I want to date or sleep with. Some of them are just good female friends who I want to chat with and go casual places with. I think when it comes to the talk of texting female friends this is largely lacking advice on.


Troy

 

[Go10]

That is the main problem ( getting a flirty conversation where we have mutual interest ). When I use whatsapp the conversation is more fun. I very much dislike using words alone. On whatsapp I can send audio, pictures, videos, and voice calls.. if I meet a girl that doesn't have a phone that can receive images I usually ignore her texts ( because I fear sending and receiving boring texts ).

Sometimes I don't know what to say. Over time me and the girl stop communicating because of boredom. I just want to be like all those other guy's that have girls texting them and never getting bored. The players are saying things that keep them hooked.

I've tried reframing my questions and still I get short answers. Most times I'll send funny pictures and all girl's say is " lol " then leave me to ask another question or make a statement. If you saw some of those conversations you'd think I'm being try hard. The girl's put out very little effort " a lol " while I'm sending pics. Whenever I put out less effort that's when they stop replying. I will deep dive others but many times I feel I'm not being heard since they don't deep dive me or try to continue the chat.

Troy

Hello,
6 months ago, before I discovered GC i used to do that too. Constantly texting girls, trying to be funny, sending images and the like.
At first it would work out great..but slowly their interests would fade and it would lead to nothing.

USE TEXTS ONLY FOR LOGISTICS. THAT'S THE GREATEST ADVICE ON TEXTING I'VE EVER GOT FROM ANYWHERE.

And um, keep texting to the minimal. Don't text her everyday. Atleast leave a gap of 3-4 days. I managed to go out with a girl who had lost interest in me. She'd reply to my images and long messages with 'lol' and 'haha.' i stopped texting her for a month.
She ended up texting me later after 31 days and we went out. Didn't end up anywhere due to shitty logistics and both of us being underage ( i was 17 at that time, a couple of months ago)but we had a good time though.

And the 'players'..are they getting any action? (read : dates, make-outs, sex) I know some guys like this but I don't see them getting any action.

Another major concern is having to ignore women's texts. Not every girl I meet I want to date or sleep with. Some of them are just good female friends who I want to chat with and go casual places with. I think when it comes to the talk of texting female friends this is largely lacking advice on.


Troy

I usually avoid texting female friends. I just send a text asking if they're doing anything important at the moment and then call them.

I hope this helps.

 

[Anonymous]

Troy,
I hate sending text messages to girls for anything other than a quick what's up/logistics set up, usually broken up into three or four texts. The reason for the warm what's up is because I know for a fact I come off way too robotic if I dive straight into the logistics. You also lose so many tools while messaging its not an efficient use of your time. The impression that you're too busy doing god knows what to text a lot doesn't hurt either. Similar to what the poster above me said its extremely important that you use texts simply for logistics. A lot of this comes back to "The Law of Least Effort".

Best of luck,
~MV

 

[Troy]

Okay! I've already tried using texting for setting up dates. Girl's will meet up with me but here is the main problem.

They are the ones who text me. I can't just ignore them. A lot of these girl's love talking and usually they don't get to go out a whole lot. I'm expecting a few girls to text me later. I'm fighting the battle: should I ignore there texts or not?

Also being in high school there are a lot of influences. Everyone is talking about how they texted each other over the weekend. I like the attention and I'm just fearful that if I ignore girls texts they will start to ignore me.

The takeaway is I feel better being apart of the group instead of being that guy who no one cares about contacting on the weekend. I don't want to be the outsider ( I've been there before; I didn't have anyone who cared to contact me and say " Hey Troy, I'm going out tonight. I want you to come with me! )

Trust me, it does so much for my confidence when I feel I'm being heard and when I feel that people genuinely want me around. IMO I think my past has shaped the way I see things now.

Thanks for your replies guys; you've said all you can!

P.s. I've realized that when I didn't text someone I was NEVER invited anywhere. Yet when we texted REGULARLY they asked me to GO OUT. It's such a nice feeling to have others asking me out instead of me doing all the asking. Sigh I don't want to just ignore those that want to chat with me.

Troy

 

[Franco]

Troy,

P.s. I've realized that when I didn't text someone I was NEVER invited anywhere. Yet when we texted REGULARLY they asked me to GO OUT. It's such a nice feeling to have others asking me out instead of me doing all the asking. Sigh I don't want to just ignore those that want to chat with me.

It really depends who you're texting. If you're just texting a guy or girl that's a good friend and you're looking to hang out with or do fun stuff with, then you can pretty much throw texting rules out the window. Do whatever you would like to do -- if this is a girl you've hung out with multiple times before in group situations, then she already considers you a "friend" at that point, so she's not going to play texting games with you because she's not trying to get you to chase her. Of course, at the same time, keep in mind that this means that these girls might legitimately see things as purely platonic (so be careful about suddenly deciding to make a move on these girls as they might feel "betrayed" that you attempted to be their friend and then get something sexual/romantic in return).

The "text sparingly and only for logistics" rule comes into play with girls you actually want to sleep with, and generally with girls you meet through cold approach. There's an unspoken dynamic that is always at play there, and it's about who's "higher value" and investing more in the other one. If you're the one who seems to have less investment in the outcome of the situation -- a.k.a "outcome independent" -- then the girl is going to recognize that and become more attracted to you because she notices that you don't consider her anything out of the ordinary when it comes to women.

- Franco

 

[Troy]

It really depends who you're texting. If you're just texting a guy or girl that's a good friend and you're looking to hang out with or do fun stuff with, then you can pretty much throw texting rules out the window. Do whatever you would like to do

Thanks for understanding my point Franco. Many times I'm just texting a "friend". I've put them in the friend zone and they did the same to me. The feeling is mutual. So with that said, I want to know how to text them ( girl or guy ) and make it fun. Texts like this are boring:

Troy: Hey
Kim: Hi
Troy: What's up?
Kim: Nothing. How are you?
Troy: I'm good. Here watching the New Penguins of Madagascar movie. It's so fun. Lol. Have you seen it?
Kim: Yeah! I love cute and cuddly Private and Skippers dominance and leadership skills...

Blah blah... a few boring stuff till one of us decides to ignore a text. Boring...

By the way, this example is something I used to do often but lately I've been moving away from that. I've tried sending riddles, jokes, videos, emoticons, and images e.t.c. yet sometimes I end up looking try hard since people only respond with a couple words. Rarely do they send back images or videos.

I need a solution to be able to text people and have long conversations. Even with family I see them always texting people and that's just how I want to be. My life doesn't revolve around seduction and a more general guide to texting is needed.

So how do I have fun text conversations? How do I get people to continue wanting to text me months from now? I've spent the last 5 years in High school watching EVERYONE do that. They NEVER run out of things to talk about and they ALWAYS have fun.

There's an unspoken dynamic that is always at play there, and it's about who's "higher value" and investing more in the other one. If you're the one who seems to have less investment in the outcome of the situation -- a.k.a "outcome independent" -- then the girl is going to recognize that and become more attracted to you because she notices that you don't consider her anything out of the ordinary when it comes to women.

So what if a girl likes me but just doesn't text me? Yet she texts all her friends? She will pay attention to me in person and always enjoys my company so I don't understand why these girl's who like me don't contact me often.

Troy

 

[Franco]

Troy,

So how do I have fun text conversations? How do I get people to continue wanting to text me months from now? I've spent the last 5 years in High school watching EVERYONE do that. They NEVER run out of things to talk about and they ALWAYS have fun.

This is really a misconception. If guys are texting girls constantly and they're responding, they are either:

• (1) Boyfriend and girlfriend.
  
  (2) Attracted to each other, but the guy has LONG been placed in the boyfriend zone by the girl. So the girl probably likes him and wants him to continue to chase, and he does so unknowingly thinking that as long as she's talking to him, he has a chance.

In reality, it's still only best to text people if you have something interesting to say or if you're trying to plan logistics for a meet-up. Just randomly texting people out of the blue (especially girls) is really going to get you nowhere with them. If you text the ones that don't like you, they're just going to answer slowly and be short with you, or they just don't respond at all. With girls who DO like you, they'll basically respond frequently and often if they're not seeing any guys, but as soon as they start seeing a guy, the texts become less frequent and short-winded as well.

With guys, there generally isn't much point in hitting them up unless it's to do something together. Guys don't really gossip over text, and I can guarantee you the ones that look like they are are doing it with girls. But that doesn't mean those girls are giving them much in return other than "hope."

Girls at younger ages (especially high school and college) will rarely cut guys off if they at least find them attractive and the guy hasn't royally fucked up the girl's reputation in any way. Girls try to keep all of their options open, but usually as soon as one guy is bold enough to move quickly, she'll just suddenly go cold on all of the other guys.

Again, if you have no attachment to any of those girls, then you can text them whatever you'd like. But just keep in mind that the ones that are responding probably like you and the ones that aren't responding either (a) are more interested in another guy or (b) aren't interested in you.

- Franco

 

[Lotus]

Troy,

It's already been adressed that you only want to text girls you want to lay for logistics, but that doesnt mean you enter into a conversation "hey, whats up"

Start the conversation with something that requires an investment from her and relates to her life or a moment you guys shared. Make it easy for her to talk with you.

Take longer periods of time thinking of what to say, examine the context of your words. Personally I have noticed a tremendous improvement in my text conversations by taking the time to soak in what the girl says leaving the text for a couple minutes and then going back to write up a message.

Also adding colorful language and mixing up your sentence structure can make it fun as well.

The more you write the more you will notice improvements.

 

[Ezio]

What kind of texting are you guys talking about? - instant texting or phone texting/messaging?

Because, there is a big difference between instant texting and phone texting.

 

[Troy]

What kind of texting are you guys talking about? - instant texting or phone texting/messaging?

Because, there is a big difference between instant texting and phone texting.

We are talking about whatsapp messaging and phone texting. Other than that I think the rules apply to other platforms.

Troy

 

[Franco]

Because, there is a big difference between instant texting and phone texting.

I believe he is referring to "instant messaging" (i.e. Facebook Messenger, AOL Instant Messenger, etc). In general, I don't really recommend anyone to use instant messaging and to avoid it if possible. It's a time-sink, and if girls see that you're available, then it lets them know what you are up to. If you're a busy guy, then you don't have time to use instant messengers.

As a caveat, I actually still use Facebook Messenger, but I have myself as "Hidden" so that people think I'm logged off, and I respond to messages infrequently and only when I have the time to do so.

- Franco