Girls who get way too nervous

[DarkKnight]

Hey guys,

I am going to share a pet peeve of mine....

We know that girls when they like you they behave in different ways...

Some are engaging and submissive -> easy
Some are testy and bitchy -> basically they want to steal the frame -> easy and quite enjoyable..
And I am sure there are plenty of other shades..

But one of them I have always extreme difficulty with : nervous girls.

I am not talking about nervous girls because you put them in a difficult position, I am talking about nervous because they like you so they create distance.

I find it very hard to engage these chicks because they tend to do things that make the courtship super unhelpful. Such as mingling with other people or making physical distance. When you engage them they can stutter and get weird. It is easy to view their behavior as rejection... Also when they make distance or mingle with others there is added social pressure from both sides.. I get it they want "safety".

There is a shop where I frequent with a cassiere.. she is one of these chicks and I always sensed she is interested. One day I went to the shop and just did my thing (I too have to do groceries).. At the counter she went nuts coming across as rude but I knew it is nervousity. At that moment I decided to backburn her and just engage with the other counters... Her colleagues are all chicks and most of them receive me very well. One of them was prolonging the conversation we had just 2 days ago not letting me leave haha.. Usually I am very well received by women.

Anyway the reason I disengaged this chick and started hardcore ignoring is not because of vengefulness or feeling rejected. It was because I wanted to shake her up and give her a feeling of loss. Today after I visited said shop, went outside and to my surprise she finally gave me proximity and I closed for the number. But I am very certain if I didn't give her the cold shoulder she would keep doing silly nervous shit.

Another case: I was in a busy city and there were these sales people around. One of them was a hot blonde in a miniskirt. I immediately noticed she was interested... but again she too acted very nervous. I caught her staring at me more than once.. but she kept mingling among her own group or approaching other people. At one point I wanted to make it easy for her and get close so she could use making sales as an excuse to talk to me.

Nope too nervous.

After 3 minutes of hovering I went to sit somewhere and caught her staring again but I knew the logistics of the situation is absolutely shit and she is not helping


Long fucking story short: I have issues with super nervous chicks who go nuts when I talk to them. I am 100 percent certain these are chicks who are attracted since I am not doing anything weird or carrying a red stained knife. How do you guys calm these chicks down. Some of them are really hot but fucking timid. My attraction game is really on point, but like Teevster said in one of his articles. Attraction doesn't necessary mean good game.

I even had that some girls were always standoffish until I showed vulnerability one way or the other and they suddenly opened up and became closer.

 

[Fuck This]

I know what you mean. Nervous laughter from them gets to be grating....Sometimes you have to take the pressure off them by disengaging. I think sometimes this will make them chase a bit. Also your body language has to be non confrontational. Stand along side them as you converse and not eye to eye. You have to create a bubble with you where she feels like she isn't going to be judged. Often she doesn't want her friends to tease her about "talking to a boy" and that just accelerates her nervousness. Your calmness and confidence actually settles her down.

You create an "us against the world" bubble and find a common subject and you will be amazed at how she hooks.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Bacchus, I have to say you are stern teacher who shows no mercy, but I appreciate you taking the time for such eloquent responses.

About social frame issues being heightened when engaging their sexuality, I always considered it as pretty static. Now I know better. In retrospect ... with other girls in the past I did take it personally. Your retorical question clears a lot up.. I lost some very great girls because of this.. especially one super memorable one, one which did haunt me for some time. I blamed her for the wrong reasons it seems..

Cool I will try to become "relatable" ... since that seems to be my acchilesheel in this scenario.

You have to know I take your posts really seriously. Since my last post about me ego tripping due to a stung pride, your comments have stopped me from autorejecting in numerous occassions. The biggest reason for this is because my interactions have taken an empirical character instead of a relational one. I am trying to see what lies beyond.. and pretty much blindly follow some of your instructions so I get the reference experience which is now omitted.

as always I will have to meditate on this... and am going to read the other board post.

 

[Glow]

i tend to be fun-loving and carefree around them. Uncomplicated and Chatty.

why?

Cause it impacts her and brings her guard down, no pressure from me at all, non-dangerous, relaxing. Smile pulling.

and i might boost her a lil, on somethings she does well - by making her undrstand shes cool herself. This can lift her out of the nervousness.

smoothly move her in a better direction a lil step at a time

 

[DarkKnight]

Glow great response... I can be a bit too intense and too stern..... Even when being nice, lol. Being wiry muscled doesn't help..

So how would you tangle a chick..... who moves into her friend group. Basically seeks "safety" because she is shy. It's quite a messy situation. @ZacAdam posted a cool link about it a couple of hours ago.. I still have to review that

 

[Mr STIF]

This should be an 'attainability' problem. Usually, I find girls who are sexually or socially inexperienced to be shy especially if you're more experienced than she is. So, relatability is very key here.

Your conversations with this type of women should not come off as you showing off more value as you already seem high value to them. Don't use big words instead use easy to understand words.

Instead you wanna meet them at their level. It's just applying more social grace and humility. Think of how you'd talk to your kid sister. You pat her on the back with a facial expression that says all will be well.

Talking about your childhood experiences is another thing that brings the other party out of their shells. I do this with old people and it makes their day, I make them tell me something that happened when they were teenagers. It creates a vibe I can't type over the keypad. I do this with the nervous women too.

I believe every adult was once a kid, so my intent is to have us behaving like babies. Remembering those old days: I make them narrate it then they become animated by their passionate memories. Sometimes, I find out about a petname her Dad called her. Now. I have something to tease her with.

The key to these women is showing your vunerable side so that they know that that high status part of you they are seeing has a human part to it, no-one is without flaws.

 

[Skills]

in this one bacchus and glow are correct...

Bacchus is correct that you are causation = correlation (i have been sharing stories pm with dark)

and the thing is you are coming a bit Strong (this needs to be calibrated a bit more)

So at some point this is a pattern that i am speculating (please bare with me)

- You correctly sense the girls are liking you (good)

- then at some point is coming across to them that you are coming a tiny bit direct/strong (this is were i like glow approach)

- they are getting nervous and/or intimidated...(here in some cases they may back off, this is were i think bacchus right)


^ again i am just speculating, my apologies if i am wrong (based on our private convos and this)...

With that being said a girl nervous around you IS GOOD (in the sense that she likes you)

I never seen a girl from nervousness acting rude what i have seen rudeness from autorejection

p.s. i forgot to mention this concept take a look at it

A common mistake seducers make (Overreaching) - The Skills Method

Overreaching dictionary definition: To defeat (oneself) by overdoing matters, often by excessive eagerness or cunning: In trying to promote disunity he had overreached himself. Over gaming is when you have … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[DarkKnight]

Thanks for the feedback Skills.. You guys sure gave me some stuff to think about.... I really have some things to digest... And you are probably right about me coming a bit too strong... I am not needy/or portray neediness in any sense but I can be... going for what I want in a sense.. And I have a big feeling I give that away... even indirectly

But I have to say.. chicks can be nervous without me gaming or being focused on them too....

Maybe I have to work on my overall vibe... Because it's intense. I probably have to soften up a bit among timid chicks... Thats where I really like Glows comment.. About being more chatty and whatnot. Basically show that I am "safe" instead of being Geralt of Rivia on a monsterhunt.

PS the cassiere was not purposely rude... she just came across as such because she lost her coherence.


Lol yeaaaaah I would have been a liar if I never have overreached before... Haha... But that was not the case with these recent girls lol


DAMN the chicks in the dumb and dumber clip are HOT.

 

[Glow]

Glow great response... I can be a bit too intense and too stern..... Even when being nice, lol. Being wiry muscled doesn't help..

So how would you tangle a chick..... who moves into her friend group. Basically seeks "safety" because she is shy. It's quite a messy situation. @ZacAdam posted a cool link about it a couple of hours ago.. I still have to review that

Youre being to dark-seeing about the situation. consider it no big deal. Ok she swoops into set hiding. just laugh a lil about it.
Often these girls just need to collect themselves, so give her a lil time to take you in and collect her courage. She gets that in her group.
Take your time, use the room - i would let her see me and take me in a lil, let this vibe hit her but no direct display of interest from me. let the attraction grow by itself if you sensed its there. Enjoy yourself and focus on enjoying things, Smile. especially before you catch eyes w her so that you are already smiling genuinely if you do. etc
Then move in either engaging the set, materialising next to her, mingling in or intercepting her dependent on the setup.
she might be a lil stif and neutral in the beginning, dont take the attraction for more than it is - se the whole of her, shes attracted but also nervous, and maybe also fun wanting etc etc.
keep cool and take her down a new path.

 

[DarkKnight]

Glow... very articulate.. especially about the girls needing to recollect themselves .

 

[Glow]

just a pointer since you pay good attention to the specific of girls - here that she appears nervous. It is great to see this attentiveness to things - super important. .

When you connect with a girl she will respond either to your vibe or due to her own inner world. + typically shes used to various degrees of dick-party-type-guys with superficial notions of sexuality engaging her in manners not attentive to what most girls are really seeking.

Letting her just sorta feel that will give her space to adjust her own emotions - girls are not caught by their initial reaction, give them time and youll see the attraction will rise and take form. The immediate response might be nervous - but girls can and will often change that. Doesnt mean anything nessecarily especially if shes nervous but other states will make her engage in the ways girls do which is more detailed than whats described in most pu theory.

A key is to slow down and give her time to be a human being in the interaction. Give her time to feel, contain your engagement so that you dont overreach which is what most guys do. realise more nuanced how her emotions flow. The reality of how women thinks. You wanna ground yourself and continue the interaction around the attraction as a sissle in the back ground. itll take form if you do. ijjji wrote a great post on containment on nextasf. maybe check that out. Note its not passive but its playing with more subtle connects which is what we use in micro-escalation and more smooth forms of escalation working it as a momentum.

just lay back and be tempting, let the space do some work, keep and eye on her and adjust your vibe. Potentially send in vibe bombs.

its more like a crack in her immediate reaction you wanna look for when the reaction is seemingly bad like nervous. itll come if you start paying attention to it. Or its lingering in the back. Start noting it and youll see the avenues you can better take her down. Then you can also route it down these FASTER right of the bat rather than reacting to your own insecurities around her being nervous or agressive or whatever guys complain about.

i think if you think a lil more in a sorta slow gravitation towards one another like you see in romantic movies but without a clear interest display from her youll add another view around how attraction truly arise. Add that layer to more punch like engagements and youll see your results increase drastically. But it demands more confidence and patience which is something eg @Bacchus and i use a lot. we calmly await opportune moments while also being proactive in creating them. Our doings are way more detailed than what you guys discuss in here if you note our discussion around. Cause when you slow down like this you see more of the reality at play.

Maybe a lil advanced but hope it provides some perspective for what i consider the more interesting levels of attraction and intimacy. Look for this and maybe use the perspective to start seeing these things in a different light. Try to get into a sense of her and think a lil more why she acts as she does and know there is more emotions at stake. Just like most guys wants a girl but also feels AA at the same time. Not to use that as a model since female world is different and these things are more complex, but just to provide a relatable reference.

 

[DarkKnight]

I'm just gonna try to digest what you wrote Glow. You're right.. it's really advanced but not futile to write about.

Hell there was a time I thought getting the girl would be as simply as looking like my 80's aftion heroes.

I will reread this on different occasions..