Girls who like me and friend with me but on the brink of auto-rejection

[andersen09]

Whattup gents, I have a question.

Most of the time when I get closer to women, I get the same response.

"When I first met you, I thought you were an asshole.. like you were superior to me or something"
"You have this cocky arrogant aura, but you're not.."

And so on.

Anyway, aside from the confident ones who I go for from the get go, I have problems with the "cute ones" when I decide in fact, I am attracted to them.

For example,

There's this girl who's been chasing me hard for the past 4 to 5 months. When we first met, it was in an acting class.
The first day we acted out the most memorable walk we've ever seen through our life time.
I did the "gangster walk" where it got out a lot of laughs.
Second, there was this Russian blonde girl, who did the model walk you see on fashion runways.
I immediately called out "that was fucking sexy". And the blonde girl blushed, while everyone else laughed as well.

Anyway after the break, let's call the cutie, Angela. Our conversation went like following

Angela: You killed that walk!
Me: Thanks, what'd you think about the other walks?
Angela: They were okay, how bout you?
Me: I like that one girl's model walk. I found it sexy.. she's kind of sexy.
Angela: I used to model for hollister.
Me: Oh cool.
(conversation about random stuff and moments later)
Angela: So if you like her so much, why don't you go talk to her?
Me: I think i will..

And I actually did go talk to her (Angela regretted telling me that as I've come to find out later)
So continuing on the next day I'm talking to the blonde and Angela's listening in to our conversation.

Russian: Can i get your number?
Me: No! I don't even know you! (Playfully)
Russian: (She hits me) Facebook?
Me: How bout instagram?

So from here, long story short. Me and russian girl started getting together, and so on.
During this period Angela had a boyfriend, but I knew it was some chumpy guy, as I met him once.

Fast forward and Angela makes a bold move

It was a day when we were on our last day of acting, and we were all just performing for fun.
Weather at that time was around 65 degrees outside and really freezing cold.

Out of nowhere, Angela shows up in TIGHT booty shorts and very revealing shirt.
She comes sits right next to me and says
"Oh my god.. I was working out and I forgot we had our final today!"

And mind you.. my eyes were set on the blonde until Angela showed up like this. I had no idea she had such an amazing body as she's usually covered up.

Later in the day, it gets obvious she was dressed as such for me.
I go to grab Uber, and she comes along with me cause "she forgot to drive today".
She sits next to me and "drops" her cell phone and bends over right in front of me taking her sweet ass time.

So I just called it out
"You know, I never really knew you had such an amazing ass"
Angela: What! Stop staring at my butt
Me: Lol
Angela: It's freezing!
Me: Here, wear my coat.
Angela: Aw but youre gonna be cold!
Me: (in my head im just like this bitch is being so obvious)
Me: I'm gonna order my Uber.
Angela: Do you wanna try Uber pooling together?
Me: uh where you going?
Angela: I mean I'm gonna go work out, but that's like in an hour or two.

(Here I could've pulled her right then and there, but things were stacked against me)

If the blonde found out, she would immediately cut off as she was already jealous of Angela.
Two, Angela was out for blood. She didn't care I was talking to the blonde/had a bf.

Under these two scenarios, I decided against it as I liked the blonde girl and didn't need drama in my life.
(I avoid hooking up with multiple girls within social circle settings)

So I send her off, and thought that was that

A year later, (right now) we randomly met up again in another class. *By some luck or whatever.

I go into class.

Familiar voice: OMG! Andersen!!
Me: Hey!!

(in this convo she basically tells me out of nowhere, her boyfriend dumped her and she was pretty sad)

It was cause she was looking for other guys lol.

Anyway, here the pattern kind of repeats.
I wasn't really interested her again, but just as friends.
But there's about 2 to 3 women in my class that flirts with me hardcore.

One day I was talking to this red head about another girl who was being really bitchy with me for not dancing with her:
Me: Idk she just started cursing at me outta nowhere! And started being a major bitch!
Red Head: She got jealous. You were dancing with me the whole time and I saw her coming near you cause she wanted to dance with you.
Me: Idk but I fucking hate it when girls act like bitches
Red Head: Trust me, I'm a girl. She really likes you

And while this conversation is going on, Angela is listening in about us talking to another girl in a different class.

Long story short, she saw consistently attractive women being attracted to me and hitting on me.
So I'm not sure if her confidence started going down, or her perception of me change

But lately, I noticed a difference in behavior from very confident to well, not confident.

In acting class she was very fiery around me.
Some examples were

Angela#1: Comes near me and talks to another friend. "OMG did you see Chris today? He's so fucking sexy. I would so.. nvm I have a bf" (subtly looks to me to see my reaction)
Angela#2: One day I was talking to the Russian girl and she straight up abused her verbally
"Ew wtf did you eat? Your breath stinks!" "What? I don't understand your language. Speak english" "Omg you're so fucking cute holy shit, speak english again"
Angela#3: (Comes near me) Yeah so this guy was hitting on me all day, omg, I had to reject him cause he was so clingy
Angela#4: Omg my uber driver's so cute! (Looks to me)
Me: Here let me help you. (I mess up her hair)
Me: There it is, you got that whole "I just got fucked" hairstyle going. It's sexy. Go get him.
Angela: haha..


But now it's very different.

#1 When I used to go up to her for a hug before, she would excitedly hug me back.
Now, she acts like "she doesn't see me" until the last minute.

#2 Conversation
Before: She would come up to me in class and FORCE herself into a conversation with me.
Now: I go up to talk to her I get a very .. rejected behavior?

Me: Hey Angela!
Her: heey...
Me: Come walk with me
Her: Oh.. i probably can't.. I have to go somewhere..

I recently texted but different response from the ones I get with her in person.

Me: Hey
Her: Hey!
Me: When are you on campus?
Her: Huh? Why?! I have class at X and Z on mondays and wednesdays and that's it!
Me: Oh cool, I was thinking we should get food or something.
Her: Okay!!! Just text me
Me: Cool, I'll text you sometime when the weather cools down a little.

Basically, in person she's cold. (Auto-Rejection)
In text she's excited.



My question is this. I have girls around me (Majority of them being cuties, but not really that sexy type) whom I just stay friendly with and she was one of them.
But there are times when for one reason or the other, I start getting attracted to em and want to pursue em.

How do I go about going from the "friends" thing I did with them, and just turn it around?

Mind you, some of these girls have been my friends for 5-6 months and find me attractive, but seen me with other girls and on the brink of auto-rejection.

Any inputs?
And for this Angela girl, how would I go from friends to -> more?

 

[andersen09]

Basically, when you keep running into women who are near/in auto-rejection how should you respond?

1. Do I stay in auto rejection with them while demonstrating pre-selection and social proof and hope for her to get back to trying to talk to me again?
2. I start talking to her and gradually start being warm with her even though she won't even talk to me.
(The only thing I'm concerned about is that if I'm trying to talk to her while in auto-rejection, my value in her eyes plummets for chasing behavior)
3. If she's close to auto-rejection but still interested, what are the steps to get her back into the same investment level she once had with you?

 

[Michal]

Basically, when you keep running into women who are near/in auto-rejection how should you respond?

1. Do I stay in auto rejection with them while demonstrating pre-selection and social proof and hope for her to get back to trying to talk to me again?
2. I start talking to her and gradually start being warm with her even though she won't even talk to me.
(The only thing I'm concerned about is that if I'm trying to talk to her while in auto-rejection, my value in her eyes plummets for chasing behavior)
3. If she's close to auto-rejection but still interested, what are the steps to get her back into the same investment level she once had with you?

I dont have answers for all your questions but what I can add is that being warm does not necessarily make you look like you chase her. For example: imagine you are at a party, you want to grab a new bottle, so you go to the kitchen and she stands in there going through the bottles of beer. You conclude she is examining the brands or whatever, basically she want to pick one. So.. you walk right next to her, tap her slightly on the arm and tell her: "This one (the one she has currently in her hand) has more bitter taste to it and this other one has a slight sweet after-taste" and you smile at her, pick a bottle of your own choosing and go back to what you were doing. Or something like that. Basically, you could have ignored her but you provided some value. You did not ask some stupid stuff like "cannot decide which one to pick?" Or "so, how is your evening going?" which in and on itself is asking for investment from her.. you actually did the opposite, you gave her something.

I am not sure how providing value to her while being warm without asking for anything from her or supplicating to her when she is almost cold would work in reality to make her warm up again because I have never done that but in my own mind it seems like the best option because auto-rejection is more of a "I cannot have him" or "he does not want me" feeling so suddenly being interested would seem incongruent to her compared to your previous behaviour and also she might think it is you being reactive to her coldness (the second line of thought) while generating more pre-selection shows her there is much more competition than she thought was the case and she might lose hope completely (therefore her interest in you).

 

[andersen09]

I dont have answers for all your questions but what I can add is that being warm does not necessarily make you look like you chase her. For example: imagine you are at a party, you want to grab a new bottle, so you go to the kitchen and she stands in there going through the bottles of beer. You conclude she is examining the brands or whatever, basically she want to pick one. So.. you walk right next to her, tap her slightly on the arm and tell her: "This one (the one she has currently in her hand) has more bitter taste to it and this other one has a slight sweet after-taste" and you smile at her, pick a bottle of your own choosing and go back to what you were doing. Or something like that. Basically, you could have ignored her but you provided some value. You did not ask some stupid stuff like "cannot decide which one to pick?" Or "so, how is your evening going?" which in and on itself is asking for investment from her.. you actually did the opposite, you gave her something.

I am not sure how providing value to her while being warm without asking for anything from her or supplicating to her when she is almost cold would work in reality to make her warm up again because I have never done that but in my own mind it seems like the best option because auto-rejection is more of a "I cannot have him" or "he does not want me" feeling so suddenly being interested would seem incongruent to her compared to your previous behaviour and also she might think it is you being reactive to her coldness (the second line of thought) while generating more pre-selection shows her there is much more competition than she thought was the case and she might lose hope completely (therefore her interest in you)

I agree with the line of thoughts you're having such as being warm and giving value.

Let me dwell on this a bit.