Girls who mention male friends

[Flames]

I seem to be going through the dating checklist ATM but anyway I've read what the 'rest of the net think'.

But as usual ill ask the the people in the know.

What does it mean when a girl mentions other guys while she's talking to you?

 

[trashKENNUT]

What does it mean when a girl mentions other guys while she's talking to you?

Depends. She wants to know if you needy or not. She also thinks he is cool too, somewhat or important. She wants you to know she's valuable. She might also draw the line so that you won't chase her.

lot of things, See where she's going and the emotion behind the sentence. Sometimes it's a passing, or you cut thread and his name will still pop up. and if a girl does it too much, she probably doesn't have guys chasing her that much or he's somewhere important in her life.

Zac

 

[Flames]

Thanks Zac,

I suppose I better give the exact situation in question.

I was making small talk with the girl I'm mainly interested in at the moment, and she asked if "is x in work today", she already has his number and presumably would be in regular convo with him anyway, also I'm not particularly friends with this guy, although we do work in the same dept. She's done this before, using other guys in a small talk way. There wasn't any noticible emotion behind it, and believe me if I thought there was anything to worry about with this guy I'd be able to tell.

It just felt as if she was testing me, and I don't get tested that often these days (or rather I do but I usually just sail through them).

 

[trashKENNUT]

I don't get tested that often these days (or rather I do but I usually just sail through them).

IF there's something i notice with myself too, when you get tested on certain things in your life and it's recurring, there's something you projecting, some cracks in your frame (approach/conversation/value)

what do you think about it?

Zac

 

[Flames]

I don't get tested that often these days (or rather I do but I usually just sail through them).

IF there's something i notice with myself too, when you get tested on certain things in your life and it's recurring, there's something you projecting, some cracks in your frame (approach/conversation/value)

what do you think about it?

Zac

Yes, exactly I think so too. Its like anyone who had the same problem over and over it's a case of its not everyone else it's you. A lot of the stuff you learn on this site is about self-improvement.

I have a few women friends who used to test me on a regular basis just for their own enjoyment until I just smiled one day and told them to fuck off

 

[trashKENNUT]

I have a few women friends who used to test me on a regular basis just for their own enjoyment until I just smiled one day and told them to fuck off

Telling people to fuck off can be fun. However i think the most important thing is knowing if this people can contribute to your life and why things happen prior to that. I mean you can smile while slowly withdrawing yourself and change yourself, and once they see you with other girls, they get jealous and they come after you.

Then, your job is to finish her off with some great sex. You can leave no contact on those girl friends after that. That's the best revenge if one person ever want to call it revenge.

Zac

 

[Flames]

I have a few women friends who used to test me on a regular basis just for their own enjoyment until I just smiled one day and told them to fuck off

Telling people to fuck off can be fun. However i think the most important thing is knowing if this people can contribute to your life and why things happen prior to that. I mean you can smile while slowly withdrawing yourself and change yourself, and once they see you with other girls, they get jealous and they come after you.

Then, your job is to finish her off with some great sex. You can leave no contact on those girl friends after that. That's the best revenge if one person ever want to call it revenge.

Zac

Yeah, they're actually good friends they did it because they knew how 'bad' I was, to toughen me up, not out of anything malipulative. When I told them to fuck off it was more as I sign that I had improved and knew what they were upto.

 

[Richard]

Changing the tempo a little bit but still in line with Zacs theory that there is a "crack in your frame." Usually when a woman mentions another guy in passing, in a nonchalant sort of way, it can mean a few things, but is probably along the lines of the situation I'll outline below:
Friends of mine who are girls have done this to rev guys up, here's an explanation text from my friend Maria who actually just texted this to me earlier today while I was out
Her "Hey Richard =) As always, I need your advice on something =/"
Me "As ALWAYS Maria, fine lol, I need to start charging you for this"
Her"Oooohhh please no! I don't work enough for that lol"
Me "Definitely! So what's the problem?"
Her "Well, I have guy problems... Remember that nigga Brian with dreads that I liked? Well him n I were talking or whatever, and you know how his whole team been trying to fuck with me? I was talking to him anyway, and was mentioning his friends whether they were by his crib or not, and he was getting mad n asking me why I wanted to know and sht like that. It seems like ever since I talked to him he been trying to fuck with me even more, this niggas getting too clingy !!! What can I do =(?
A little out of context at first, but, Maria generally doesn't do this on accident, for her, when she mentions other guys, it gets the guy she actually wants moving for her, and it's usually too an extreme which ends up turning her off. So, if she's mentioning other guys around you and knows you are interested, then she's probably testing how you handle it, whether you qualify yourself, and try to put the other guys down and assert yourself, or you briskly and smoothly handle it in a socially dominant manner.

 

[Flames]

Thanks Zphix,

So it's a shit test, plain and simple. TBH she's really been ramping up the interest (or at least apparent interest) recently, and maybe I haven't been giving a lot back, or maybe giving enough back. She's really changed over the last few months from playing hard to get, to being pro-active.

In which case I probably handled it ok, (not great but enough)I showed enough emotion for her to know that I had to think about the question, but not so much as to be entirely bothered by it.

I move too slow I know this, maybe this her kicking my ass for it?

 

[Richard]

-You mean she's been ramping up her interest in you?
-And I would imagine she's not kicking your ass for it, girls even complete bitches won't kick your ass over something as small as this.
-As far as giving interest back, reward her for the interest she shows! Let her know that you're fully aware of her indicators of interest (not by directly stating of course).

 

[Flames]

-You mean she's been ramping up her interest in you?
-And I would imagine she's not kicking your ass for it, girls even complete bitches won't kick your ass over something as small as this.
-As far as giving interest back, reward her for the interest she shows! Let her know that you're fully aware of her indicators of interest (not by directly stating of course).

Yes, I meant me. and I am at least trying to reward interest she shows, it's just that sometimes I miss my cue. And yes I long ago realised the power of not directly stating anything

 

[Richard]

Sounds like you have everything under control then =) Keep doing what you're doing and you should be able to pull her.
Have fun and enjoy
Richard

 

[Anonymous]

How do you reward interest that a girl shows you?

 

[Flames]

How do you reward interest that a girl shows you?

It can be a simple thing like.

Girl waves, you wave back.

Not waving would be not rewarding interest.