Girls with on and off again Ex boyfriends

[Shroud]

The girls that I meet, and obviously ignorant of this fact when meeting them, have an ex boyfriend lurking in the background that they are still attached to in some shape or form. The problem I have is I will really start to like this woman, but I am unsure about how to act whenever she mentions her ex wants her back or something similar. They always want me in there life, they call me or text me but as my experiences have shown, they go back to their ex, but are still attached to me.

The question is, I do not know how to act in this situation, obviously I enjoy talking to them and spending time with them, but I do not want to be in their backpocket mentality as I've read countless articles on this site. Sometimes I have had to walk away in some situations, but I want to know if there is anything I can do to steer the woman wanting me more then her usual prick of a ex-boyfriend.

I realize when talking to any woman there is another guy in her life, I get that, but I do desire a relationship. I've hooked up with women, I have a lot of confidence in my abilities, and work hard to perfect myself. But I ALWAYS fumble when it comes down to a girl I want to be in a relationship, and I have to deal with this tug and pull mentality this woman is putting on me. I do have to admit there is lingering bitterness in this type of situation, I felt like i've "lost" many girls that I really like to a very inadequate men. One girl I lost because the guy threatened to kill himself, and had 'anxiety' attacks. Another, cheated on her countless times.

What the fuck is wrong with me honestly

 

[Shroud]

Yeah it does actually, thank you. I believe I am a challenge at first and I do attract a lot of girls, but that does not matter if you cant close, or hold on to them. I guess I really need to work on my fundamentals to be a challenge. I have this knacking fear in my head that ill lose them if I don't show how great of a man I am...and It's a horrible habit. I know its completely wrong to do, and I think I give into the girl to much. I remember one time she got paranoid that I wasn't committed to her, and to my ignorance, I gave in.

I just need to make a frame for every girl I approach from now on, and have a legitimate plan on how to act once I get past the initial barriers. I believe the times I have hooked up with women is I could careless what they thought of me, I didn't put them on a pedestal. But the girls that I really do like...I fall into that trap, and I need to get out of that habit.