Okay so I hope this never happens to you guys. I'm kind of surprised that I could run into this while opening girls in broad daylight, though I can imagine it's a risk associated with night-street game when the bars are closing, etc. I want to emphasize that I'm a very socially liberal, non-judgmental guy, but this is just not what I want right now... or ever, for that matter.
Around noon Friday I saw a girl with an excellent figure, sassily dressed in a sober gray skirt, about to cross the street. The timing was off versus what I would normally want for a cold approach, because if I crossed in the opposite direction I'd meet her in the crosswalk, where I hardly want to open (this is our city's flagship street, with a good deal of traffic); if I keep walking, I'll miss her; and I don't know what direction she's going to go once she crosses, as there are three possibilities at this intersection.
Normally I might pass it up altogether, but she looks really pretty, as well as somehow open to meeting people... smiling, etc. I hang around casually a few paces farther down the block, then turn and follow her as she reaches the curb. I catch up and open from the side. I'd noticed she has long red hair, which is normally a great prop for a direct compliment, if it is natural, but as I get closer I see that it is dyed.
Now I know a lot of women dye their hair, but dying it blond is one thing (in my book), dying it red is another. This should have set off my first alarm bell. Nonetheless, I go with my original opener and she opens easily. She actually stops to talk to me, rather than walking on with me as most women do. At one point I ask which direction she is headed, and she says she's going to the tanning salon. I reply that she hardly seems to need it (she's really great-looking and has a very provocative cleavage; she also smells good).
She keeps calling me "honey", compliments my shoes at one point, I'm very relaxed and we shoot the breeze. I try to move her... we are legitimately in a stupid place to stand with men unloading trucks onto carts etc. She says she has to go but is very compliant when I continue the conversation. She keeps asking for my business card... I do give it to her at the end, but insist on getting her number too.
There are a couple other things that should have been signals for me. I ask her out and she says she's been in a relationship for 3 years, but her roommate is single. She insists on showing me a picture of her blonde roommate on her phone (the girl I'm talking to is sexier, and I say so). I resist her efforts to matchmake me with her roommate, quite apart from anything else because I am not an eligible candidate for matchmaking of any sort. Also I am getting the sense that it might be a case of "you're too nice for me, but you'd be PERFECT for my friend" which always ends in tears from what I've heard! ;-)
I point this out to her subtly, saying "I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship as such..." which elicits a knowing smile and an inquiry as to my marital status. When I ask what led her to this conclusion, she replies sardonically: "I've danced..." which could mean a lot of things. Earlier when I had asked about her career, she said that she was between jobs right now, but generally worked in bars, waitressing etc.
Now I'm generally quite a naive guy but I'm starting to put two-and-two together and have reached the following tentative conclusions:
I cheek-kiss her as we finish our conversation. Later I text with the obvious reference to her freshly-bronzed skin, etc. When I suggest meeting soon she writes "For sure
" and I ask about her schedule. She proposes Monday lunchtime.
At this point I start to think logistics and ask what part of town is convenient. To my surprise (with hindsight, I should've seen this coming) she invites me to her apartment and specifies the neighborhood. I offer to bring lunch and get no reply.
Over the weekend I grow increasingly concerned about her sexual health. Like I said at the beginning, I'm non-judgmental but I really don't want to get myself into difficulty with a girl with a very uncertain history.
Anyway, when I text Monday morning to check that my message Friday afternoon was not sent too late, so as not to get her into trouble with her BF, she texts back immediately that she's got it all discreet and under control, and doesn't need lunch, but "would appreciate help with her bills". She actually specifies a number.
Needless to say I immediately decline politely. I have no idea where exactly along the scale she falls, and I'm all for openness and relaxedness about sex, but this is not what I want AT ALL. I am trying to hone my skills with quality women and while I realize I may need to gain experience with a few less conservative ones to get myself into the swing of it, this will teach me nothing!
Around noon Friday I saw a girl with an excellent figure, sassily dressed in a sober gray skirt, about to cross the street. The timing was off versus what I would normally want for a cold approach, because if I crossed in the opposite direction I'd meet her in the crosswalk, where I hardly want to open (this is our city's flagship street, with a good deal of traffic); if I keep walking, I'll miss her; and I don't know what direction she's going to go once she crosses, as there are three possibilities at this intersection.
Normally I might pass it up altogether, but she looks really pretty, as well as somehow open to meeting people... smiling, etc. I hang around casually a few paces farther down the block, then turn and follow her as she reaches the curb. I catch up and open from the side. I'd noticed she has long red hair, which is normally a great prop for a direct compliment, if it is natural, but as I get closer I see that it is dyed.
Now I know a lot of women dye their hair, but dying it blond is one thing (in my book), dying it red is another. This should have set off my first alarm bell. Nonetheless, I go with my original opener and she opens easily. She actually stops to talk to me, rather than walking on with me as most women do. At one point I ask which direction she is headed, and she says she's going to the tanning salon. I reply that she hardly seems to need it (she's really great-looking and has a very provocative cleavage; she also smells good).
She keeps calling me "honey", compliments my shoes at one point, I'm very relaxed and we shoot the breeze. I try to move her... we are legitimately in a stupid place to stand with men unloading trucks onto carts etc. She says she has to go but is very compliant when I continue the conversation. She keeps asking for my business card... I do give it to her at the end, but insist on getting her number too.
There are a couple other things that should have been signals for me. I ask her out and she says she's been in a relationship for 3 years, but her roommate is single. She insists on showing me a picture of her blonde roommate on her phone (the girl I'm talking to is sexier, and I say so). I resist her efforts to matchmake me with her roommate, quite apart from anything else because I am not an eligible candidate for matchmaking of any sort. Also I am getting the sense that it might be a case of "you're too nice for me, but you'd be PERFECT for my friend" which always ends in tears from what I've heard! ;-)
I point this out to her subtly, saying "I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship as such..." which elicits a knowing smile and an inquiry as to my marital status. When I ask what led her to this conclusion, she replies sardonically: "I've danced..." which could mean a lot of things. Earlier when I had asked about her career, she said that she was between jobs right now, but generally worked in bars, waitressing etc.
Now I'm generally quite a naive guy but I'm starting to put two-and-two together and have reached the following tentative conclusions:
- - Her boyfriend is paying her bills while she's out of work
-That's how she can afford to do stuff like tanning and getting lunch at cafes
- She doesn't live with him though, she has a female roommate... I'm unclear at this stage as to the reasons for this
- She is potentially open to doing stuff outside the boundaries of her relationship (as a matter of policy I never use loaded words like "cheating" or "unfaithful"): this is clear from her body language
- Her professional background, if you can call it that, runs along the lines of cocktail waitress, stripper etc. with some room for maneuver in various directions ;-)
I cheek-kiss her as we finish our conversation. Later I text with the obvious reference to her freshly-bronzed skin, etc. When I suggest meeting soon she writes "For sure
" and I ask about her schedule. She proposes Monday lunchtime.At this point I start to think logistics and ask what part of town is convenient. To my surprise (with hindsight, I should've seen this coming) she invites me to her apartment and specifies the neighborhood. I offer to bring lunch and get no reply.
Over the weekend I grow increasingly concerned about her sexual health. Like I said at the beginning, I'm non-judgmental but I really don't want to get myself into difficulty with a girl with a very uncertain history.
Anyway, when I text Monday morning to check that my message Friday afternoon was not sent too late, so as not to get her into trouble with her BF, she texts back immediately that she's got it all discreet and under control, and doesn't need lunch, but "would appreciate help with her bills". She actually specifies a number.
Needless to say I immediately decline politely. I have no idea where exactly along the scale she falls, and I'm all for openness and relaxedness about sex, but this is not what I want AT ALL. I am trying to hone my skills with quality women and while I realize I may need to gain experience with a few less conservative ones to get myself into the swing of it, this will teach me nothing!
