Goals for conversation?

[Jano23]

Over the past few days I've been thinking to myself one thing I want to work on is my deep diving and conversation skills. Right now I don't have many ways to pick up girls on my own due to no car.

And honestly I want to get my car so I can be more indepedent instead of having to depend on getting an invite to a party or go out with a group to a club. So, as of now my goal is build my convo skills.

So, my question to you all is.. Is there any one thing you focus on to engage in deep diving?

Like for example do you ever say to yourself "for every person I talk to I'm going to learn at least one thing from them" or "every girl I talk to I want to talk about their dreams?"

I mean those are some really hazy ones but I'm just interested in hearings some of your goals in a conversation. Something you use to keep yourself interested in the woman so that you can connect and qualify her?

I ask because I just don't know where to start anymore.. Lol

 

[skin_man]

Hi Jano23,

When talking to strangers, it's best to give them a hint of why you're talking to them even if it's just for conversations sake. This is because you don't want a situation where a stranger begins to feel like he/she has gotten into some unending convo with a total stranger.

I ask because I just don't know where to start anymore.. Lol

You could start with compliment. Whether it's a guy or girl. People love compliments. Tell them wht you like about their dress or shoe, or maybe an accessory they have on. After they accept the compliment, you can begin asking them to give you a history about the item, and then you can go from there to other aspects about their motives for picking the item for use that day, and then find out where they are headed to and then what they do for a living...etc. it just begins to flow from there. This way they can always look back and think that you began speaking to them because you found something on them that interested you.

So, my question to you all is.. Is there any one thing you focus on to engage in deep diving?

Like for example do you ever say to yourself "for every person I talk to I'm going to learn at least one thing from them" or "every girl I talk to I want to talk about their dreams?"
I mean those are some really hazy ones but I'm just interested in hearings some of your goals in a conversation. Something you use to keep yourself interested in the woman so that you can connect and qualify her?

If you're in a queue for example, you could say something about the place where you are. Mind you, people would not always respond the way you expect them to.

Two nights ago, I was in Nando's and the queue was ridiculous. So while I was getting in line, I noticed these groups of girls in dinner dresses waiting also. As I sat, i said to the one nearest to me. Here's how the convo went.

"What's going on here with these pretty dresses?" (with a little smile of course)

Girl: "it's her birthday" (pointing at the celebrant)

{everyone in the group turns to look at me as I take my seat in the queue]
[i remain focused on teh girl and say]

"Oh, why don't YOU tell me about this party then. How old is she turning?"

Girl: 18 years old.

"How old are you?"

Girl: 18.

"where was it you did your 18th bithday"

Girl: "In bahamas. This was in August"

"Hm.. what made you pick Bahamas? What about Miami?"

Girl: "It was my parents who chose the place"

She goes on to tell how long they'd been on the queue for the night and then why they chose the place for the day. Before long she gets up cuz the waiter says their table is ready.

My goal: Just keep conversing and making the topic about her and the environment. I wasn't planning on hitting on her either.

So to answer that question: No. The focus is nothing rigid. It varies depending on the environment and the person you're speaking to.

Hope this helps.

Enjoy!!

 

[PinotNoir]

My goals are usually more idea-oriented rather than concrete subjects.

Goals for direct approach:
1.) Find something that really stands out about her or that makes her unique. If you just go up and tell a girl she's beautiful (this does work and has worked for me, but not as high success rate), then the girl is thinking, "So his criteria is beautiful, a woman, and living?" You chose to speak with her over the hordes of other girls around her for a reason. Figure out what it is and tell her. What about her fashion is striking? What about her face is beautiful?

This can also spawn natural conversation. "I love your look. Those loop earrings and eyeshadow reminds me of Cleopatra. Are you big into Egypt?"

2.) Figure out a way to say it in a unique way or with words not used as often. Striking features. Riveting. Captivating. Exquisite. Appealing. Delicious (more metaphorical). Etc.

Goals during initial conversation:
1.) Try to talk about emotions or exciting/dangerous stuff more. "How did that make you feel?" Try to steer away from logical and statistical "guy" conversation.
2.) Again, unique words and phrasing if can.
3.) Deep-dive to Find something you have in common or love about women. Tell her when it comes up.
4.) Try to maintain focus on her and think of questions to ask based on her answers. Really try to remember/soak up what she's saying. Don't make this too "interviewy" though and reveal a little about yourself every now and then.
5.) Tease/flirt with her. Is this a chance for me to make a subtle innuendo?
6.) Make her be the one chasing you. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Gosh, already trying get a date out of me. "

Goals when conversation is going well:
1.) Find out if single if you haven't already. If she has a boyfriend, don't let it deter you.
2.) Get her number.
3.) Get a quick date that day.

Goals for non-verbals during conversation:
1.) Make bedroom eyes (search GC articles for this). See if you can make her smile.
2.) Lower/slow voice down.
3.) Make a pause and lock eyes with her. Create sexual tension.
4.) See how close you can get to her without ever kissing her.
5.) Get an opportunity when can whisper into her ear.
6.) See if you can get her to touch you.
7.) Create an opportunity to touch her. Bracelet? If so, touch hand to look and hold it there. Perfume? Ask to smell and lean in and touch your cheek to hers to do a small sniff -- be extremely careful as this can come off as super creepy if don't do right way or if do at initial conversation.


Just choose 1 or 2 of these in each categories to make a goal. This is just a brain dump. Hope it helps. I find goals really helpful; it keeps you moving forward.