going for long term girl or short term option? + need advice

[Brazerprime]

Do people normally go for the short term or long term option with girls? This turned out to be a "neither" but something I am considering moving forward.
..

 

[HoofHearted]

I'm not sure I follow this entirely.

Experience bears out to always take the real option rather than the speculative one.

Deal with what's right in front of you, and what actually 'is'-- rather than what 'may be.'

I remember years ago heading to a classy outdoor club with a group of friends, including a woman I was most interested in.

While on the dance floor, a second woman (random) appeared and she was beautiful. We clicked. The door was open. But I flaked her that night for the original girl. Then got friendzoned the next day by the original girl!

It was a lesson I never forgot. I still think about that opportunity I gave up for essentially nothing, or less than, and how i could have done it better.

Also the pursuit of multiple women by a man does not affect women in the same way as... a woman's involvement with multiple men affecting a man.

Hard to read, I know.

I am telling you to fuck them both, but in proper order.

 

[Magic]

Simply because she is comfortalbe with you does not mean you can sleep with her or if she seems attracted with you does not mean you can have sex. Girl love attention so it could be just that. It is all about IOI or Indication Of Interest. If you think the girl is interested you have to move things forward and see how she react and take it from there.

I hope I do not get banned for saying it but personally I believe PUA or F boy makes you worse. If you are considering long term and gf material. Even then you should not give any indications of it, in fact the girl will run for the hills because she will sense the neediness. You should simply have fun, romantic interation which will make your intentions clear. Do complaince test, check for IOI and keep moving forward accordingly. If you just want to get laid then indirectly you will have to give the F boy vibe once her IOI is 8 or 9 and make it seem normal. So literally she knows what coming when you take her to your place. If you think she is awesome girl and want a long term realtionship then also you still need to create sexual tension, kiss her and you have to make her chase you. Do not worry about sex it is all but guaranteed if you can get her to chase you. Unlike what PUA coaches try to tell you. Going for sex on first date or prematurely will ruin your chances.

It is upto you to decide there are both types of girls out there.

 

[Brazerprime]

Experience bears out to always take the real option rather than the speculative one.

I remember years ago heading to a classy outdoor club with a group of friends, including a woman I was most interested in.

While on the dance floor, a second woman (random) appeared and she was beautiful. We clicked. The door was open. But I flaked her that night for the original girl. Then got friendzoned the next day by the original girl!

It was a lesson I never forgot. I still think about that opportunity I gave up for essentially nothing, or less than, and how i could have done it better.

I guess my assumption was that one of them lived where I did/studying here (so it was a long term reward potentially) whereas the other was just visiting for 2 more weeks or so. So if I went for the one just visiting, it wouldn't lead to anything long term.

Had I known both were about to leave in 2 weeks, I would have 100% pursued the girl who seemed more interested from the beginning. But tbh it seemed like my issue was more texting too soon plan afterwards imo, but that's getting into semantics.

In your case it seems like both of them lived where you were at and it was just a matter of who you wanted to go with.

 

[Brazerprime]

Simply because she is comfortalbe with you does not mean you can sleep with her or if she seems attracted with you does not mean you can have sex. Girl love attention so it could be just that. It is all about IOI or Indication Of Interest. If you think the girl is interested you have to move things forward and see how she react and take it from there.

again the issue was logistics bc I thought one lived/studying here for another 4-5 months while the other was leaving in 2 weeks. Turns out both were leaving in 2 weeks, I didn't realize some international students only do 1 semester in college in the states.

 

[HoofHearted]

I guess my assumption was that one of them lived where I did/studying here (so it was a long term reward potentially) whereas the other was just visiting for 2 more weeks or so. So if I went for the one just visiting, it wouldn't lead to anything long term.

Had I known both were about to leave in 2 weeks, I would have 100% pursued the girl who seemed more interested from the beginning. But tbh it seemed like my issue was more texting too soon plan afterwards imo, but that's getting into semantics.

In your case it seems like both of them lived where you were at and it was just a matter of who you wanted to go with.

I think I'm starting to understand a little more. Maybe there's some bad assumptions here on your part.

First of all, it occurs to me to say... we never really know where a door goes until we crack it.

Second of all, the fixation on 'longterm' is strange to me, though I may be misinterpreting this part of your post. The aim of keeping a woman around is far far less functional then the aim of meeting new women.

IOW a mindset that really helps is rather than same girl over and over... to prefer the take of a new girl. And in a strange way, the process it takes to meet new women. This seems to make something classically right in a man; to think 'next girl,' instead of 'same girl.' To accept uncertainty, and your own utilities to acquire the things you want or desire...

(spoken from experience. To curl up in a woman's attention and get consistent and easy sex and affection is so alluring, and comforting, like staying indoors all day. But we're men, we're built rugged to go outside and get fucked up, even in the pursuit of women... it's good for us IMO).

so i cannot help but feel some of your base assumptions are yet ill informed. again, i'm not sure i understand your post entirely, and i certainly have zero context on who you are as a person. Is fucking one of these girls in a one night stand something you would regularly do, or would such an action be a notable event for you? questions like that.

Maybe you had zero chance with either. It's all just like golf, anyway, it's all just a percentage shot and we curve the numbers as we get better...

 

[Brazerprime]

Second of all, the fixation on 'longterm' is strange to me, though I may be misinterpreting this part of your post. The aim of keeping a woman around is far far less functional then the aim of meeting new women.

IOW a mindset that really helps is rather than same girl over and over... to prefer the take of a new girl. And in a strange way, the process it takes to meet new women. This seems to make something classically right in a man; to think 'next girl,' instead of 'same girl.' To accept uncertainty, and your own utilities to acquire the things you want or desire...

(spoken from experience. To curl up in a woman's attention and get consistent and easy sex and affection is so alluring, and comforting, like staying indoors all day. But we're men, we're built rugged to go outside and get fucked up, even in the pursuit of women... it's good for us IMO).

so i cannot help but feel some of your base assumptions are yet ill informed. again, i'm not sure i understand your post entirely, and i certainly have zero context on who you are as a person. Is fucking one of these girls in a one night stand something you would regularly do, or would such an action be a notable event for you? questions like that.

Maybe you had zero chance with either. It's all just like golf, anyway, it's all just a percentage shot and we curve the numbers as we get better...

By long term I mean my goal is to get a girlfriend. ... if one girl is just available for 2 weeks to "hook up" w meanwhile her sister could potentially be around as a longer term thing for a months (granted she lived a bit further away, but still in the same general area) than that's what I mean by long term.

I am NOT into one night stands if that answers your question. I do not see the benefits of that if I do not intend to see her again in the future, that is just my mindset currently given where I want to be emotionally and in my life romantically.

I had def. a more than non zero chance with the other girl, but again she did not live here. HAD I REALIZED both were leaving after 2 weeks, then yes my plan would have been to focus on the one more interested and that would have def. increased my odds

Ex) I only got the girl's number who "lived here" as she had an American number rather than getting both of their numbers for Whats'App, in future if this situation happens I'll just get both numbers and go from there