Thomas,
I'll tell you the truth. I really sky rocketed my success when I started going out alone more. I just never had guy friends who were very good with women and really not even interested in meeting women when we went out. They'd hold me back more than they'd help and tend to stick their nose in and spoil some interactions or get all snipey when I would approach girls myself.
So... I just decided I needed to go it alone more if I really wanted to get better at things.
Anywhere, here's the deal:
- I actually like to do things myself, not just pickup related. I don't understand peoples need to have loads of people around to go outside their house. Sometimes I go with people, sometimes I do things alone. Both are fun and have their advantages.
- Nobody will laugh at you for going out alone. Anyone that does is just insecure and weird. But they won't. Only occasionally someone might notice you're alone... but it's usually a GOOD thing. People will often strike up conversation when they see you're not with people already. No approach needed! You'll meet girls that way, you'll make guy friends for the night.
- If you're worried someone will ask why you're alone. Tell the truth, and own it. If you sound apologetic or embarrassed, it might feel weird. If you just say "I just wanted to go out, my buddies are busy, didn't see the sense in staying at home alone tonight!". If you REALLY are unsure... just pretend you're new in town. People will actually start saying how cool or brave or confident you are! Trust me!
- Some places are better than other for going alone. If it's smaller, quieter. It sort of forces you to interact.
- If it's bigger, busier. You can do what you like. Stand around, walk around. Observe. Approach. If it's a bar and not a club, I actually like to just hit the bar, grab a beer to warm up and watch the game thats on. That'll lead to conversations with those around you and once I'm warmed up I'll get up and have some fun.
- If you can shake the nerves, talk to everyone. It's way more fun than just hanging with the same 2 boring guys all night if your friends are there.
Here's the only way it will be weird:
- I HAVE seen some guys alone at bars. And it's only weird when they just seem miserable and are leering at everyone. You just sort of see them looking sad and staring at people. It's a little creepy.
Just smile, enjoy your own company, laugh at things. Talk to people, just watch the game on tv and get comfortable with being there alone before you even have to approach.
Last things:
- The thing about making friends with bar tenders. I'm 50/50 on this. I know a lot of guys advocate this, but I see few guys actually do it. You can only really do this if you go to quieter bars and quieter times, so it's not conducive to meeting women anyway. If you're the guy propping up a bar trying to make conversation with the bar guy while you're blocking other from getting to the bar so he can earn tips and trying to distract him while he's trying to make drinks, you'll piss him off pretty quickly.
In clubs/busy bars... I'd drop this tactic and just go meet people there having fun.
- Remember everyone is in their own world. Nobody cares about you! And I don't mean that in a bad way, it's a good thing. You're free! Nobody knows who you are. You can swoop in, talk to someone. If for whatever reason it doesn't go so well... just bounce away, no big deal.
- I do like to hit up a few places in a night than stay in one. It sort of depends on the crowd and who I'm meeting. Experiment. If things aren't really happening at one bar, it can get old pretty quickly when you're alone... bounce to the next bar and start fresh.
