Going out in the week

[Dylan]

Hi everyone,

Looking at Chase's post and comments here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-c ... ything-els - he recommends in the comments going out 3/4 nights a week. How many of you do this consistently? How do you balance that kind of commitment with going to work? If you have to be up at 6:30/7am the next morning, how is it possible to do that?

Any experience here would be much appreciated.

Dylan

 

[Franco]

Dylan,

he recommends in the comments going out 3/4 nights a week. How many of you do this consistently? How do you balance that kind of commitment with going to work?

The more time you commit to something on a consistent basis, the faster you will get better at it. If you could easily devote 5-6 days a week toward picking up women, you would likely get very good in a short period of time. But, alas, a lot of us do have commitments that keep us from doing that. So you can only commit as much time to it as you find reasonable (or enough time that you're determined to commit).

I actually only went out twice a week to meet women when I was learning. It was all I could muster up in between other commitments and work. But if I had more time, I would have committed it. It's really up to you how much time and effort you want to put into learning this, but just keep in mind that the amount of time you put in is almost always a direct correlation of how quickly you start seeing results.

To answer your question, however, there is no "hard" rule to how often you should be going out. The more you go out, the faster you learn. The less you go out, the slower you learn.

- Franco

 

[Dylan]

Cheers Franco, I appreciate your advice.

I have a different question - I got completely caught out by the bouncers at this bar I wanted to go to, alone yesterday. They asked me whether I was out alone. I said I was, and then asked whether that was OK. They said "no not really" and then the other guy got in my face, wanting to know whether I knew anyone inside. At this point, I lied and said I did. As it happens, the bar was dead anyway so I left soon after.

This is something that I'd been scared of happening for a long time, told myself it wouldn't happen, yet it did. It really knocked the stuffing out of me - I didn't persuade myself to stay out any longer. I'm going to try again at a different bar tonight.

This really is what scares me about going out alone - not so much the approaching, but getting past the bouncers. They are hired to be intimidating, especially to men. This bar was free to get into as well, so it's not as if you've paid for the privilege. What's your strategy for getting past bouncers? Do you try and make chit-chat with them, or do you just keep walking? Does it make a difference whether you have to pay or not?

 

[Franco]

Dylan,

I got completely caught out by the bouncers at this bar I wanted to go to, alone yesterday. They asked me whether I was out alone. I said I was, and then asked whether that was OK. They said "no not really" and then the other guy got in my face, wanting to know whether I knew anyone inside.

Honestly, my first thought when reading this was, "what the fuck?"

It's none of the bouncers' business as to whether or not you're coming in alone. I have never experienced anything like this before, and I would be rather upset if bouncers did this to me. It sounds discriminatory. As a matter of fact, if that happened to me, I would have asked to speak to the manager. You can even lie to the manager if you don't go there often and say you come here once in awhile to have a few drinks and blow off some steam and that you're upset that the bouncers are giving you a hard time.

Anyway, if you don't want to deal with that, I would just pick another spot to go to. That should not happen, and it has never once happened to me (nor have I ever had to explain myself to a bouncer). If there's any other advice I can give it would be to make sure that you're really handling your fundamentals (i.e. stand up straight, walk slowly with your shoulders back, dress nicely, and clean up well). No bouncer should have to question whether or not I'm there with someone unless it's some sort of private party where they are accepting guest list attendees only.

- Franco

 

[Chase]

Dylan-

Hi everyone,

Looking at Chase's post and comments here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-c ... ything-els - he recommends in the comments going out 3/4 nights a week. How many of you do this consistently? How do you balance that kind of commitment with going to work? If you have to be up at 6:30/7am the next morning, how is it possible to do that?

Any experience here would be much appreciated.

Dylan

Like Franco notes, you'll have to balance it to fit your schedule.

I know a guy who had a full time job and lived an hour outside of town, so he'd pick one day a week that he had off (usually Sunday), and just spend the whole day - about 12 hours - doing nothing but hitting the street, the mall, and anywhere else he could find women doing day game approaches and picking up.

When I was still pretty new, I noticed a trend where most of the guys I knew who were pretty good got VERY good during some period of time when they had large amounts of free time for whatever reason - time off from school, a sabbatical from work or unemployment, etc. It's not a coincidence that if you get a large space of free time you can use however you want, and you largely use it for approaching, picking up, and sleeping with women, you'll advance by leaps and bounds here.

When I was working a desk job full time, going out at night all the time definitely had a negative impact on me at work (though I'd never have admitted this even to myself at the time). I was routinely getting to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning, and waking up at 8:20 to make it to work by 9. Then I'd be so tired I'd spend most of the day napping at my desk, or even falling asleep in meetings (and snoring, according to workmates), despite trying everything I possibly could to stay away (chewing gum, drinking cold water, etc. throughout the meeting). Stick me in a chair under a sunbeam or a heating vent, and I was done for. I wasn't even supposed to be coming in at 9... it was 7:30 originally. But I had a permissive boss who only started getting annoyed if I didn't show up until 10 or later - I thought it best to make sure I got there before 9 if possible.

If you're working Monday - Friday, a good way of scheduling things might be going out Thursday night, but making sure you're out early and in bed by midnight, and then going out Friday and Saturday nights, and maybe Saturday/Sunday during the day, too. Use those days for dates. If you can schedule dates during the week, schedule them right after work so that you're finished with the date by 10 or 11. When I ran my schedule this way, it worked okay. It was when I started going out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc., and drinking and staying out late that I started to have problems... and because I'm a night person, even if I didn't go out on a certain night, once I was used to staying up until 2 or 3, I did anyway on those nights, too.

The biggest thing is just making sure you're getting enough sleep. If you aren't, you'll suffer across the board - so figure that out before you start planning out your schedule.

On the bouncer thing, yeah, like Franco notes, that's pretty unusual. It sounds like these guys just were having a slow night and wanted to mess with you. That's pretty unusual, and if you're dressed well and seem cool, most bouncers will be pretty respectful about you showing up alone. If they're not, well - a million other places you can go. Shrug and leave. I'd be surprised if anything like that happens to you more than once.

Chase

 

[Dylan]

Hi Franco and Chase,

Thank you for the advice and encouragement gents.

Chase - I am also working full-time, and my boss would definitely notice if I was routinely coming in tired. I've decided that Friday night, Saturday in the day and Saturday night are realistic for me (as well as getting approaches in here and there on weekday mornings and evenings, which I'm doing). The thing to do now is to try to leave weekends free to go out and meet girls. It's very tempting to book up your weekend with friends, but I have to resist that and start leaving myself free weekends. I think at first I was a little concerned people would think I had no social life, but now that my new friends/colleagues know me better that's no longer something that concerns me.

Chase and Franco - the bar was very empty, so I think that had an impact. It's a convenient bar because it's free and normally busy, but for whatever reason it wasn't when I showed up. There are plenty of other bars and clubs to choose from, so I don't need to go there. It's a good thing to have a choice of bars, but I think it may be peculiar to my city that they are all very small (often converted from old buildings) and scattered about. Sometimes I think it would be more useful if there were fewer, but larger, bars and clubs. But never mind.

Also, I'm happy to report that my original Friday goal, which was to approach direct 2 girls, was achieved on Saturday at a different club. It took a massive effort to drag myself out after getting shot down in flames on Friday, so I'm proud of myself. My goal was still at a beginner's level, but just getting in line was much more of a challenge than normal and I nearly bottled it. It's also a new spot that I'll be returning to. Going out alone and approaching direct was something that had me stuck for weeks and was seriously draining my confidence, so now that's ticked off the thing to do is to go out again, but stay out a little longer and do 3/4 approaches.

Chase - your article about being a powerful man, when you were also asked to take your business elsewhere, came in handy as I was reviewing the Friday night. Next time, I won't rush my words or to a judgment. I'll just turn and leave if the bar seems unfriendly. Also, I have a suggestion for a future article - often I find that when going out alone, the few hours leading up to 11/12pm when you have nothing but your thoughts for company are often the worst. I've tried different things like watching my favourite TV and going to the gym to pass the time. A short article about preparation to go out (particularly alone) would be valuable to me.

Dylan