Hello guys. So a few days ago, I slept with a high school friend I didn't talk for quite some time.
Basically it happened in 4 dates. Didn't intended to push it quickly as she never saw me more than a friend. Well... Used to.
Pre-date:
I think it started with me sending her my yearly happy bday message to her on fb and asking what is happening with her.
So we talk a bit, and we say it would be good to set a time to talk face to face as its been a long time we didnt see each other
Date 1:
I go take her to her house. We get to a coffee. Note that the "date" wasnt framed as a "date". It was a casual hangout between good old friends. Nothing more. So I set a few frames, setting me as now a sexual guys (my technic #1 besides having good fundamentals). We then go in a secluded location outside close to a lake. I just go to kiss her. She rejects. I play it off as being a habit of mine when I go out with attractive girls. She laughs and says it should never happen as she had boyfriends I knew and we are only friends. No much more relevant things happen before date ends.
Date 2:
Still she texted again and seemed quite eager to meet a second time. I oblige. She wants to grab a drink somewhere close to her house (we both live with parents). We go there, have fun. I build some tension. We get back to her house. She talks about how she wants exclusivity and shit. She basically sets her frames. I close the physical gap by making her sit really close to me on her couch while my arm is on her shoulder. I don't do any move even though I knew she would have accepted. At some point the discussion goes like this
Her: You know, I'd like to makeout with a guy, but I feel I'd just be a number. I don't want to be a number.
Me: Hmm. But what if the guy really cared about you and you just assumed this stuff.
Her: I don't know. How can I be sure he's just not saying this to all girls.
Me: Sometimes you gotta let yourself go. Cause you have much more to win by trying than doing nothing and to never know.
Her: Yea, you're right [looks at me intensively]
I could have kissed her. But we were close to her moms room. And i couldnt have pushed yet to sex. Just built the tension. Then she talked some more about how she'd be interested to have an exclusive fwb for the summer, but no bf. It was late. She offered me to sleep on the couch, but declined and went home.
Date 3:
She finished her semester and wanted to celebrate it by drinking. So we agreed to meet at a park in bike. She made the drinks (and paid for all the necessary stuff). We got there, drank. I should have done a move. I think I had good odds of having sex right there but missed my window. We went for a bike run. At the park later, I kissed her. She didnt kiss back and started to laugh. She said she couldnt do it without laughing cause I'm Mr.Z... We finally made out a bit after a few tries. We got back to her house. I escalated and at some point she said: we can't go further tonight. I didn't care. I told her. I left.
Date 4:
My classic template to close. I took her at her house. Drove to one of my intimate public locations. Walked a bit around. Laid on the ground. Started escalating. When I got to her pussy/her to my penis, she said she couldnt do it. I am just a friend. Im no stranger she could fuck around. We have common friends. Etc. I rationally reassured all her fears while keeping a light and cheeky smile. I kept saying "I know... And thats a very valid point. Really. [then I tell reason why its ok]". She decided we should go back to car. We did. Got into back seats. Then I closed the deal. For some reasons [e.g. low testoterone that day], I couldnt completly get hard especially with those condoms. And when I would get, it wouldn't be for long as the car was uncomfortable. So sex was a bit mediocre for my taste.
In conclusion, I still got it, because I framed it as super casual and no big deal for me. She even admitted after she changed her idea of exclusivity and blabla...
Friendzone is only a concern for those who accept it as such.
Mr.Z
Basically it happened in 4 dates. Didn't intended to push it quickly as she never saw me more than a friend. Well... Used to.
Pre-date:
I think it started with me sending her my yearly happy bday message to her on fb and asking what is happening with her.
So we talk a bit, and we say it would be good to set a time to talk face to face as its been a long time we didnt see each other
Date 1:
I go take her to her house. We get to a coffee. Note that the "date" wasnt framed as a "date". It was a casual hangout between good old friends. Nothing more. So I set a few frames, setting me as now a sexual guys (my technic #1 besides having good fundamentals). We then go in a secluded location outside close to a lake. I just go to kiss her. She rejects. I play it off as being a habit of mine when I go out with attractive girls. She laughs and says it should never happen as she had boyfriends I knew and we are only friends. No much more relevant things happen before date ends.
Date 2:
Still she texted again and seemed quite eager to meet a second time. I oblige. She wants to grab a drink somewhere close to her house (we both live with parents). We go there, have fun. I build some tension. We get back to her house. She talks about how she wants exclusivity and shit. She basically sets her frames. I close the physical gap by making her sit really close to me on her couch while my arm is on her shoulder. I don't do any move even though I knew she would have accepted. At some point the discussion goes like this
Her: You know, I'd like to makeout with a guy, but I feel I'd just be a number. I don't want to be a number.
Me: Hmm. But what if the guy really cared about you and you just assumed this stuff.
Her: I don't know. How can I be sure he's just not saying this to all girls.
Me: Sometimes you gotta let yourself go. Cause you have much more to win by trying than doing nothing and to never know.
Her: Yea, you're right [looks at me intensively]
I could have kissed her. But we were close to her moms room. And i couldnt have pushed yet to sex. Just built the tension. Then she talked some more about how she'd be interested to have an exclusive fwb for the summer, but no bf. It was late. She offered me to sleep on the couch, but declined and went home.
Date 3:
She finished her semester and wanted to celebrate it by drinking. So we agreed to meet at a park in bike. She made the drinks (and paid for all the necessary stuff). We got there, drank. I should have done a move. I think I had good odds of having sex right there but missed my window. We went for a bike run. At the park later, I kissed her. She didnt kiss back and started to laugh. She said she couldnt do it without laughing cause I'm Mr.Z... We finally made out a bit after a few tries. We got back to her house. I escalated and at some point she said: we can't go further tonight. I didn't care. I told her. I left.
Date 4:
My classic template to close. I took her at her house. Drove to one of my intimate public locations. Walked a bit around. Laid on the ground. Started escalating. When I got to her pussy/her to my penis, she said she couldnt do it. I am just a friend. Im no stranger she could fuck around. We have common friends. Etc. I rationally reassured all her fears while keeping a light and cheeky smile. I kept saying "I know... And thats a very valid point. Really. [then I tell reason why its ok]". She decided we should go back to car. We did. Got into back seats. Then I closed the deal. For some reasons [e.g. low testoterone that day], I couldnt completly get hard especially with those condoms. And when I would get, it wouldn't be for long as the car was uncomfortable. So sex was a bit mediocre for my taste.
In conclusion, I still got it, because I framed it as super casual and no big deal for me. She even admitted after she changed her idea of exclusivity and blabla...
Friendzone is only a concern for those who accept it as such.
Mr.Z
