- Joined
- Jul 30, 2020
- Messages
- 63
My texting game is weak, so she could get cold feet, but here's the report. This afternoon I approached a 26 y.o. seated in an outdoor plaza at a shopping center. I was there killing time for the second time in a week and had seen her the time before as well. I was dressed well, have a fresh hair cut, and was in a social mood. I got up from the spot I had chosen and walked over to her intending to express attraction, inquire about her afternoon, and ask her to an impromptu coffee date-- all of which I did. That part was pretty smooth. I was focusing on being calm and using non-threatening body language. I didn't worry too much about "performing" because I had a feeling she wasn't up to anything and thought my best play was just to be direct. Her initial response was basically repellent. I persisted by asking her what she was doing and stupid questions like if she comes there a lot. To my surprise, after a minute or two, it seemed like she became comfortable with my presence, and at that point I asked if I could sit down beside her. Then we had a conversation about random stuff, not too stimulating, but perfectly pleasant. She said she was feeling restless because she had just drank a large cup of coffee (empty cup sitting out the whole time ha ha) and at that point I thought, wow she feels really at ease now. I asked her if she wanted to use up some of that energy and walk around the shopping center with me. She did not respond so I asked again. Did not respond again, so I asked a third time. I could tell she was squirming. Did she want to invest? It was inevitable and she stood up and I followed. From that point forward it ran like a first date. I got a couple running jokes going and furnished change to toss into a koi pond. She grabbed a quarter and I was like, "A quarter?!" and she put it back and took a dime (!). She was basically my type-- petite, brunette, well-dressed, very little makeup, big brown eyes and thick sanguine lips. She was obviously shy and seemed like a bit of a loner. I think she emigrated as a kid or young adult from Syria, based on her accent and a couple things she shared, including that she speaks Arabic-- but she claimed that she is from Chicago and denied having an accent. Too funny! A little into the walk, she was talking about her sister's kids and showed me pictures, and she said, "Look at us, we are becoming friends." I was quick to agree and smiled broadly. I think her expectation is that continued contact is going to lead to dating. I didn't flirt with her overtly, but did flirt in an indirect way and ultimately got her to say she found me attractive. Upon reflection, I think one opportunity to frame the interaction in a sexual frame would have been when she said she was grossed out by things guys said to her on dating apps. I kind of froze, but I could have said something like, "Just because they lack manners, it doesn't mean that there is no reason for them to think that an attractive girl such as yourself would like to hear those things." I could then nudge toward talking about how sexuality is natural and there's nothing wrong with expressing it. I'm actually quite impressed with myself for spotting that opportunity after the fact. I am also pleased with how easy the whole thing felt. I wasn't trying to do everything at once. Looking for opportunities to supply her with plausible deniability. Trying to counteract my reflex to chase intellectually or emotionally when I saw it arise. My disappointment is that I did very little overt flirting. I didn't want to force it, and it wouldn't come naturally due to my nervousness. She asked for my number and I asked her to hang out again and she seemed enthusiastic. We are texting. Oh btw, she asked me my age (39) and I told her, and she was like, "Is that a problem?" Couldn't have asked for a better response!
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