- Joined
- Jul 13, 2014
- Messages
- 2
Okay, so admittedly I have never pursued "game" with any real intent or vigor. I've always been an easy-going guy, with on days and off days like anyone else. My philosophy has been: only pursue women when you're feeling sharp and confident. And generally speaking that strategy has worked for me, but lately I've fallen into a bit of a slump. Here's my latest tryst for illustration:
I'm a 27-y-o scientist/researcher and I live communally during the summer with other young field techs. Last week (4th of July) we had a large BBQ/party, and later on a swing dance at the local barn. Well several crews working at different houses in the area unexpectedly showed up, and before long I found myself next to a very cute redhead, talking about wolf research and genetics (we're both fairly outdoorsy and nerdy). All the signs that she was interested were immediately there: her eye contact, touching my arm, etc. She even changed her outfit to better impress me (I was sporting a pretty handsome cowboy costume -- this is in California -- and her small-town rural, genuine cowgirl mentality kicked into gear I think). Well during the dance I played it pretty cool. I danced with this chica for awhile, and danced with another girl (who has a boyfriend) for awhile. And during the slightly drunk walk back to our field house, we talked, ran, and laughed together quite a bit. She thought my voices (I do some spot-on impersonations of certain accents, e.g. British/Scottish/German) were hilarious -- it was at this point she stopped me and kissed me. Most other people in our party went directly to the river for a refreshing nude swim, but we *accidentally* missed them and got to the river as they were leaving... so we skinny-dipped together, talked a bit, and made out some more. And later that night we even slept together! (She had to be up in a matter of 2-3 hours after we got to bed, so I didn't push sex -- but we made out heavily, felt each other up, and spooned).
Well I'm certainly no genius with regard to women, but I was pretty sure this girl was mine if I wanted her. And believe me, I did want her. And I'm not just talking about sex, this girl seems like Grade A relationship material. She's energetic and has many irons in the fire jobwise, intelligent and wants to get her PhD (I'm currently getting mine), loves the outdoors and animals as I do, ...you get the picture. Well copious texting ensued over the next week, some of it flirty, and I devised a plan to get her outside during her next break from work. Based on the smiley faces and amount of punctuation (!!!!!) in her texts, she was very excited about this trip, and she said something to this effect, said that I was cute, etc. Okay, so here's where the axis shifted and I became confused. So even despite everything I just said, despite hiking in a feast over 3,000 vertical feet in the dark for our little overnight backpack (and yes we were both exhausted after this hike), somehow we didn't fool around in the tent that night. We didn't have sex the next morning. When she suggested we swim in the lake, I was the only naked one (this is a very remote place, and her excuse of being seen was overtly a cover). And by the time we climbed to the top of a little mountain, she was hugging her dog and making more conversation with it than me. She seemed thrilled to be there, but hardly seemed to want to be there with ME.
A little bit of side-story: she apparently found out only 2 weeks earlier that her long-distance partner was cheating on her (in spirit, if not in reality ... i.e. dumped her so that he could be with someone else). And she already some trust issues.
Now that we're both home again, she has barely communicated with me, and doesn't seem flirty anymore. WHAT HAPPENED?! I know you don't have ALL pertinent info here, but did she (a) friend-zone me because the conversation was boring or I wasn't being assertive enough, (b) put her walls up due to insufficient alcohol and recent dumping, (c) really just want to hook up once, the first night, and then go separate ways, or (d) just get really tired from the hike? Tired enough to last days later...
What did I do wrong here if anything? What should I specifically do next? What should I change about my general strategy? Any thoughts welcome!
I'm a 27-y-o scientist/researcher and I live communally during the summer with other young field techs. Last week (4th of July) we had a large BBQ/party, and later on a swing dance at the local barn. Well several crews working at different houses in the area unexpectedly showed up, and before long I found myself next to a very cute redhead, talking about wolf research and genetics (we're both fairly outdoorsy and nerdy). All the signs that she was interested were immediately there: her eye contact, touching my arm, etc. She even changed her outfit to better impress me (I was sporting a pretty handsome cowboy costume -- this is in California -- and her small-town rural, genuine cowgirl mentality kicked into gear I think). Well during the dance I played it pretty cool. I danced with this chica for awhile, and danced with another girl (who has a boyfriend) for awhile. And during the slightly drunk walk back to our field house, we talked, ran, and laughed together quite a bit. She thought my voices (I do some spot-on impersonations of certain accents, e.g. British/Scottish/German) were hilarious -- it was at this point she stopped me and kissed me. Most other people in our party went directly to the river for a refreshing nude swim, but we *accidentally* missed them and got to the river as they were leaving... so we skinny-dipped together, talked a bit, and made out some more. And later that night we even slept together! (She had to be up in a matter of 2-3 hours after we got to bed, so I didn't push sex -- but we made out heavily, felt each other up, and spooned).
Well I'm certainly no genius with regard to women, but I was pretty sure this girl was mine if I wanted her. And believe me, I did want her. And I'm not just talking about sex, this girl seems like Grade A relationship material. She's energetic and has many irons in the fire jobwise, intelligent and wants to get her PhD (I'm currently getting mine), loves the outdoors and animals as I do, ...you get the picture. Well copious texting ensued over the next week, some of it flirty, and I devised a plan to get her outside during her next break from work. Based on the smiley faces and amount of punctuation (!!!!!) in her texts, she was very excited about this trip, and she said something to this effect, said that I was cute, etc. Okay, so here's where the axis shifted and I became confused. So even despite everything I just said, despite hiking in a feast over 3,000 vertical feet in the dark for our little overnight backpack (and yes we were both exhausted after this hike), somehow we didn't fool around in the tent that night. We didn't have sex the next morning. When she suggested we swim in the lake, I was the only naked one (this is a very remote place, and her excuse of being seen was overtly a cover). And by the time we climbed to the top of a little mountain, she was hugging her dog and making more conversation with it than me. She seemed thrilled to be there, but hardly seemed to want to be there with ME.
A little bit of side-story: she apparently found out only 2 weeks earlier that her long-distance partner was cheating on her (in spirit, if not in reality ... i.e. dumped her so that he could be with someone else). And she already some trust issues.
Now that we're both home again, she has barely communicated with me, and doesn't seem flirty anymore. WHAT HAPPENED?! I know you don't have ALL pertinent info here, but did she (a) friend-zone me because the conversation was boring or I wasn't being assertive enough, (b) put her walls up due to insufficient alcohol and recent dumping, (c) really just want to hook up once, the first night, and then go separate ways, or (d) just get really tired from the hike? Tired enough to last days later...
What did I do wrong here if anything? What should I specifically do next? What should I change about my general strategy? Any thoughts welcome!
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