Hello, gentlemen!
This is a report I want to share with you because of the great contrast between “what you seem to get” and “what you really get” from women as a man. Even after 100s of approaches and a lot of dates, I still feel surprised by what I think is going on and what is really going on.
On Tuesday 2 July, I was literally on fire. I approached 9 women. 5 of them stated that they were single. All of them gave me their number. With 2 of them I already got out on a date. This report is about one of these 2 women, the one I liked the most compared to the others of that night.
The Approach
That Tuesday I arrived to a bar I like in my home city. A few minutes later, a tall, blond woman with long hair and a short black dress passes by with her friend outside of the bar. I don’t lose time, I stand up, and I go behind them to approach her. I stopped them at the corner, while facing them.
Me: <<looking straight through her eyes>> Hello
Her: Hello
Me: You passed by, as I was sitting inside that bar. Your legs are fantastic and I wouldn’t like to keep that for myself.
Her: <<enthusiastically>> Thank you very much!
Me: My name is Sam (handshake)
Her: Julia
Me: Are you single, Julia?
Her: Yes
Her Friend: <<while silent up to that moment, raises her head up and in loud voice>> Sam, you have craaazyy guts!!! Your name is foreign, where are you from?
Me: Thanks, the name is Arabic
Friend: Can you please teach Greek men how you do it??
Me: Well, I don’t think this skill has anything to do with my Arabic part…
Friend: And with what does it have to do then?
Me: A very simple idea
Friend: Which is?
Me: <<looking at my target>> Which is that either we’ll become lovers with your friend or I will simply be the man who made her day. How bad is either of these two possibilities?
Jaw-dropped. Both of them.
Me: <<addressing my target>> So, Julia, shall we have a drink together?
Her: Sure
Me: <<handing her my phone>> Took her number, said goodnight
The Date
Two days later I text her the usual Chase-type simple message. I let her pick the day. On Friday, date it is. She came in a white summer dress. When I saw her, I liked her even more than the first time. The date lasted more than 2 hours and time elapsed very smoothly, warmly, and romantically charged for both of us. The girl was very warm and giving from the get-go. I will try to give you an overall idea.
Moments of connection with her included:
- Deep dive
- Looking romantically to each other’s eyes
- Pregnant pauses
- Comments on her part that “my eyes penetrate her”
- Comment on her part that “she wouldn’t like to be anywhere else right now but with me”
- Comment that “she was glad that she had passed by that bar, so she could meet me
- Walk hand-in-hand by the sea (my city is coastal) and sitting on the bench
- Extremely receptive to my touch on her thighs, hands, waist
- Romantic, slow, but also fast make-outs later in the night (I know it is against Chase’s advice, but the atmosphere was very good)
- Comment on her part that “before our date she was thinking whether I would kiss her and how it would be”
- Comment on her part that “my kiss is sensual, sweet, but also wild”
Moments of disconnection included:
- I am well traveled. She never got out of the country (so, I changed the topic)
- I am involved in political activities, she reacted enthusiastically, but in an auto-rejected fashion (so, I devalued it by saying “it sounds fancier than it really is")
- I presented myself as a man with little experience in monogamist relationships, while she presented herself as a monogamist with 3 relationships (one described as “great”, one as “sweet, with a guy who gave more than she did”, and one as “oppressing with a domineering guy”)
By that point you are wondering why I didn’t invite her home. Well, I had to wake up early next morning. I had to go on a 3-day vacation with a friend.
I was also so fucking sure that she would want to see me again given the aforementioned points of connection and overall atmosphere…
I told her that “I wouldn’t stop spending time with her, if tomorrow I didn’t have to wake up early”. She seemed to understand.
I drove her home. We arrive.
She looks romantically at me and says “I had such a great time with you tonight”.
Me: I kiss her slowly and say “It has been a while since I had such a great time myself…”
Her: Do you really mean it or you are just saying it?
Me: You know I mean it…
We said goodnight and left.
That was last Friday. On Saturday ,I texted her something simple and cute to show that I had indeed a good time with her. She responded something rather typical. I called her on Sunday after I came back from my trip, she picked up and after a few minutes of flirty-sexy banter we supposedly agreed to meet again last Tuesday. So, I called her on Tuesday to arrange a meeting. She did not pick up. Today, Thursday I decided to send my last text.
Me: How is everything miss Julia? Will you accompany me for some food one of these days?
Her: Hello, Sam. I had a very beautiful time with you when we met, but I feel we don’t have many things in common. Have a good summer
Me:<<I decide that I have no other option than being outcome-independent and light-hearted>>
I am flattered you wanted me only for my body…
I really distinguished you from other girls and had a good time too. Kisses
Is this autorejection at its best, guys?
Did I give off a lover vibe that I did not honour in the end?
Personal thoughts
1)Sometimes, I just wish I could have a normal, linear, date structure where I could pick things up from where I left them. (kisses on the first date, sex on the second). I see that in cold approach this doesn't really happen.
2) It is as if there is a price with cold approach for the fast pace at which you bring numbers, dates, and women into your life...
3) I also see that a great part of me wants more to "test the girl" whether she really wants to see me again, than to have sex with her at any cost.
4) This girl was definitely "girlfriend material"
Your comments are welcome,
Sam
This is a report I want to share with you because of the great contrast between “what you seem to get” and “what you really get” from women as a man. Even after 100s of approaches and a lot of dates, I still feel surprised by what I think is going on and what is really going on.
On Tuesday 2 July, I was literally on fire. I approached 9 women. 5 of them stated that they were single. All of them gave me their number. With 2 of them I already got out on a date. This report is about one of these 2 women, the one I liked the most compared to the others of that night.
The Approach
That Tuesday I arrived to a bar I like in my home city. A few minutes later, a tall, blond woman with long hair and a short black dress passes by with her friend outside of the bar. I don’t lose time, I stand up, and I go behind them to approach her. I stopped them at the corner, while facing them.
Me: <<looking straight through her eyes>> Hello
Her: Hello
Me: You passed by, as I was sitting inside that bar. Your legs are fantastic and I wouldn’t like to keep that for myself.
Her: <<enthusiastically>> Thank you very much!
Me: My name is Sam (handshake)
Her: Julia
Me: Are you single, Julia?
Her: Yes
Her Friend: <<while silent up to that moment, raises her head up and in loud voice>> Sam, you have craaazyy guts!!! Your name is foreign, where are you from?
Me: Thanks, the name is Arabic
Friend: Can you please teach Greek men how you do it??
Me: Well, I don’t think this skill has anything to do with my Arabic part…
Friend: And with what does it have to do then?
Me: A very simple idea
Friend: Which is?
Me: <<looking at my target>> Which is that either we’ll become lovers with your friend or I will simply be the man who made her day. How bad is either of these two possibilities?
Jaw-dropped. Both of them.
Me: <<addressing my target>> So, Julia, shall we have a drink together?
Her: Sure
Me: <<handing her my phone>> Took her number, said goodnight
The Date
Two days later I text her the usual Chase-type simple message. I let her pick the day. On Friday, date it is. She came in a white summer dress. When I saw her, I liked her even more than the first time. The date lasted more than 2 hours and time elapsed very smoothly, warmly, and romantically charged for both of us. The girl was very warm and giving from the get-go. I will try to give you an overall idea.
Moments of connection with her included:
- Deep dive
- Looking romantically to each other’s eyes
- Pregnant pauses
- Comments on her part that “my eyes penetrate her”
- Comment on her part that “she wouldn’t like to be anywhere else right now but with me”
- Comment that “she was glad that she had passed by that bar, so she could meet me
- Walk hand-in-hand by the sea (my city is coastal) and sitting on the bench
- Extremely receptive to my touch on her thighs, hands, waist
- Romantic, slow, but also fast make-outs later in the night (I know it is against Chase’s advice, but the atmosphere was very good)
- Comment on her part that “before our date she was thinking whether I would kiss her and how it would be”
- Comment on her part that “my kiss is sensual, sweet, but also wild”
Moments of disconnection included:
- I am well traveled. She never got out of the country (so, I changed the topic)
- I am involved in political activities, she reacted enthusiastically, but in an auto-rejected fashion (so, I devalued it by saying “it sounds fancier than it really is")
- I presented myself as a man with little experience in monogamist relationships, while she presented herself as a monogamist with 3 relationships (one described as “great”, one as “sweet, with a guy who gave more than she did”, and one as “oppressing with a domineering guy”)
By that point you are wondering why I didn’t invite her home. Well, I had to wake up early next morning. I had to go on a 3-day vacation with a friend.
I was also so fucking sure that she would want to see me again given the aforementioned points of connection and overall atmosphere…
I told her that “I wouldn’t stop spending time with her, if tomorrow I didn’t have to wake up early”. She seemed to understand.
I drove her home. We arrive.
She looks romantically at me and says “I had such a great time with you tonight”.
Me: I kiss her slowly and say “It has been a while since I had such a great time myself…”
Her: Do you really mean it or you are just saying it?
Me: You know I mean it…
We said goodnight and left.
That was last Friday. On Saturday ,I texted her something simple and cute to show that I had indeed a good time with her. She responded something rather typical. I called her on Sunday after I came back from my trip, she picked up and after a few minutes of flirty-sexy banter we supposedly agreed to meet again last Tuesday. So, I called her on Tuesday to arrange a meeting. She did not pick up. Today, Thursday I decided to send my last text.
Me: How is everything miss Julia? Will you accompany me for some food one of these days?
Her: Hello, Sam. I had a very beautiful time with you when we met, but I feel we don’t have many things in common. Have a good summer
Me:<<I decide that I have no other option than being outcome-independent and light-hearted>>
I am flattered you wanted me only for my body…
I really distinguished you from other girls and had a good time too. KissesIs this autorejection at its best, guys?
Did I give off a lover vibe that I did not honour in the end?
Personal thoughts
1)Sometimes, I just wish I could have a normal, linear, date structure where I could pick things up from where I left them. (kisses on the first date, sex on the second). I see that in cold approach this doesn't really happen.
2) It is as if there is a price with cold approach for the fast pace at which you bring numbers, dates, and women into your life...
3) I also see that a great part of me wants more to "test the girl" whether she really wants to see me again, than to have sex with her at any cost.
4) This girl was definitely "girlfriend material"
Your comments are welcome,
Sam
