Guidance needed

[Wismalliesat]

Wanted to start off by saying thank you; a forum like this is exactly what I'm looking for. Do not misinterpret what I say as bragging, merely painting the picture and looking for help. I'm 27, 5'11, 186lbs, workout 6 days a week, 8% body fat, college athlete, firefighter/paramedic, own a house, truck, and boat. On paper it's great, because I've heard that countless times. I enjoy everything that is Mother Nature, beauty at it's purest and simplest. When I'm not working I fish, backpack, swim, workout, rock climb, anything to keep busy. I love my Dad; growing up my mother had the pants. No doubt about it because she still does, he said to "be nice" to woman and always put other people first. Growing up I was introverted throughout high school and became a bit more extroverted during college. Had girls walk up to me in high school, asking what I was doing on the weekend, didn't know what to do despite them handing me their numbers. In college I had some fun being an athlete, alcohol was my crutch. Met about 20 girls in my college time with absolutely zero effort. Dated the same girl since just after college and started my career as a firefighter/paramedic. We recently split on my terms, she wanted to move in. After going out for the last 3 months, I've noticed a few things. I thought it was normal just about every girl smiles at you, I get approached frequently (sometimes unattractive and sometimes cute), get compliments with some being very direct, some just that I'm "hot, sexy", get bumped into, questions about the venue, grabbed on various parts of my body, etc. One girl asked me if I was a model and body builder, ha. A few girls have mentioned their place is nearby within 10 minutes of talking. My friends wives/gfs have said some straightforward compliments with my friend right next to us. I know I'm attractive but never mention anything about it. ABSOLUTELY fed up with hearing "Dude, what happened?! How did that go wrong?" from my friends as the girl(s) walk away. I can literally see the second she becomes disinterested. I've started reading articles for the last 3 weeks in an attempt to increase that percentage. I'm extremely outgoing, life is precious, and I LOVE my job. From work experiences I have realized that you don't know when it will end, enjoy each moment. I lay it down in the bedroom but being sexual to a girl I've not had sex with is a new concept for me,very rarely compliment, and almost never approach. Did the dating website deal and was overwhelmed, spent too much money on drinks. Looking to have a lot of fun but frustrated due to my lack of game. Any advice/help is appreciated, thanks.

J

 

[ray_zorse]

Your conversation is too boring and you are not being your authentic self, e.g. talking to a hot girl who has approached you and saying "how about this hot weather?" while thinking "OMG I want to fuck this bitch so bad" --> just say it to her. Take risks. Also, post some detailed FRs to get specific advice.
Ray

 

[Drck]

Not sure if I fully understand, when do they walk away? Are you saying that you can get a girl to yours or hers place fairly easy and fast - but you don't try having sex with her? That might be an issue, you appear like a sexy and fast moving guy, who is outgoing and interested in girls, so she goes with you to your place, and you - do nothing.... She gets disappointed, leaves, never wants to hear about you again...

You also have lots of provider traits: good job, good income, house, boat... You might have lots of Nice Guy traits...

There is not enough details in your text, but I think there is some issue with incongruence.

Let's simplify it into two kinds of guys:

One is a provider, Nice Guy. He has a great and stable job, he's got money and house, he is stable, he is there for long term. Unfortunately this guy is usually very slow as far as dating and sleeping with girls. He takes long time, he dates girls for long weeks or moths before he tries to have sex with them. In her eyes he is not that exciting (if at all), he is actually very boring. This is the guy she wants to marry though, because of his stability and income.

The other guy is a lover, seducer. He doesn't really want to date at all, he wants to sleep with the girl as soon as possible, perhaps the very same day he meets her. He is sexy, he is not really much of a Nice Guy, and he is very careful to appear as a provider. Some guys here even pretend to be homeless, LOL. She knows that won't be providing for her, she knows there is no future with him, that he will only sleep with her. That's very exciting to her, she doesn't want to live with her but she could have great sex with him.


In real life there is of course lots of variations, but in essence this is it.

Based on what you wrote, my thinking is that you APPEAR as a lover - fast and sexy outgoing guy who wants to have sex with her on a first date. She gets quite excited, she wants to see how fast you will move... But then you start talking more about yourself, and now she realizes that you are the other type of a guy, the slow moving, perhaps boring provider... She knows that now she's got to date you for weeks before she can allows you to have sex with her... she wants you to invest a lot of your time a and emotions into her, she knows that you are a Nice Guy from good family, and she just can't risk that you will judge her for sleeping with her fast... So her excitement drops on her spot, she gets disappointed and walks away...