Guys who STILL aren't getting results.

[Zoro]

Hey fellas,

I've been a reader of GC since before the boards existed and part of the boards since the end of the world (Dec. 2012.)

I have learned and experienced so much from this site. My problems with women are much lessened and no longer stem from confusion, but from inaction. I have a pretty good idea of what went wrong when things go south. This is from a combo of experience and consuming (way too much) information from sites like GC.

I just want you guys to know, if you are still struggling despite the time and effort you are putting in. You are not alone.

If you are like me, you are far from discouraged. You are examining what is going on and want to know why you are still struggling. You probably know why too.

I am in the best shape of my life and continuing to look even better. I have confidence (and now arrogance (thanks hector)) like never before. I have had lots of awesome experiences with women over the years and feel there are lots of areas of socializing and seducing that I am above average in.

Yet I am still a beginner of cold approach. I definitely do it, but I suck. And I have dissatisfaction with life and social circle. I have goals and I have plenty of friends, but few who push me and who I can adventure with.

There are several things I need to work on, but since we probably have different issues and Don't want to have a crazy long post I will mention the one I think many people deal with.

Comfort zone. I see lots of people living in it and they lack passion in their eyes, just like me. And when I leave that comfort and make it a habit I am inspired and progress as a man in many ways.

Goodlookingloser has a great post on this. Check it out. He doesn't really offer advice with how to break out of that. I want to provide my experiences with breaking out of my own comfort zone that results in real progress and results for me. I stopped doing these things over winter and saw a steady decline in life satisfaction. I'm bringing them back into my life and already feelings changes

1.) Seek out challenges that inspire you or are part of your goals. Just being here on GC already means you have challenges on your plate. You need more challenges because modern life lends itself to comfort. When I was a kid I skateboarded and played drums and those always pushed me to grow and I had great life satisfaction and still do from those pursuits. Now that I am older and I started to lose hope at times about the practicality of these I stopped pushing myself. As an adult things like building a business and learning a language are more practical.

2.) Cold showers - This is something that has tremendous benefits and in my experiences builds up my discipline immensely. I notice that starting out the day with one will lead to more instances when I leave my comfort zone.

3.) Quit Porn - There are differing opinions on this and I think it varies in importance for each person (regarding their history and frequency of usage) For me, it helps tremendously.

4.) Go out when you don't want to. I went out the other night tired as shit. It was a blast. Chase mentions some of his best nights out were nights he didn't want to go out at all.

5.) Working out

6.) eating well strictly (Westonaprice.org)

7.) There are plently more ways to challenge yourself that encourages growth and learning.

Arrogance is a boon to challenges because you just go and do that damn thing and attempt things at levels that may be outside your skill level.

Another important part of challenges are something I picked up from NoFap Academy.

1.)Keep the pain of the challenge in your awareness (on your mind)
2.)keep the goals and benefits in your awareness (on your mind)

Do both. If you fail to do both at once during times of weakness the experience goes into the subconscious which just loves the comfort zone.

I am running out of time so no nice closing

-cheers
Jwick

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

damn, really need to start going out when I don't feel like it

 

[Zoro]

FeelIWastedMyYouth,

It's not always a good time, but it's always possible something awesome and unexpected happens.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

do you agree with the analogy, that even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while?

 

[Chase]

damn, really need to start going out when I don't feel like it

A good way of thinking about this is "If I'm only going to do what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it, I'm probably not going to improve much."

Improvement comes from doing things you don't want to do or don't know how to do, or doubt you even can do. That's when your brain is forced to switch on problem-solving mode and commit to learning.

Everything else is just comfortable feelings and an uninvolved mind.

Nice summary of lots of great (and productive) ways of "getting uncomfortable", J Wick.

Chase

 

[Lotus]

Thank J Wick, I really like this post and it resonates as it is something I struggle with also.

I have a note on my desk that reminds me of "self-control", as a way to be disciplined to eat healthy and work out and get tasks done.. Self-control though feels like it has such negative energy attached to it. Where as leaving your "comfort zone" has more of a positive/challenging connotation. I'm going to start looking at it this way and see how it helps my improvement!

Another note on the comfort zone, I noticed when I travel I am much more likely to approach anyone and everyone to spark up a conversation then in my home town. I used to think it was because people where nicer in those areas, but now it clicked. I was already out of my comfort zone and as you said once you're out it's much easier to stay out( kind of like getting out of the wake on a wakeboard or water ski's). Once I leave my comfort zone I do notice a change to my vibe and energy as well.

Anyway, glad I ran into this today. Going to make it a goal to leave my comfort zone more often.

Thanks,
Brum

 

[ocantu1987]

great post j wick, I have been working out 5 days a week, eating healthy, making gains, do cold showers, and have also been on nofap for 10 days! I feel good and im approaching women again lol I made it my goal to approach women everywhere I see and also go out friday nights for nightgame and saturday daygame. Hopefully add my first LR on girlschase soon

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

and I need to stop fapping, my current recent record is 9 straight days of no fap, I want to see if I can surpass 2-weeks

 

[Zoro]

and I need to stop fapping, my current recent record is 9 straight days of no fap, I want to see if I can surpass 2-weeks

You most definitely can.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com and no fap academy for helpful resources and of course you come here for support anytime.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

and I need to stop fapping, my current recent record is 9 straight days of no fap, I want to see if I can surpass 2-weeks

You most definitely can.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com and no fap academy for helpful resources and of course you come here for support anytime.

I heard that no fap for a full month is when you really start to notice changes about yourself, like your mindset, vibe, energy you give off, etc.

 

[ocantu1987]

and I need to stop fapping, my current recent record is 9 straight days of no fap, I want to see if I can surpass 2-weeks

You most definitely can.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com and no fap academy for helpful resources and of course you come here for support anytime.

I heard that no fap for a full month is when you really start to notice changes about yourself, like your mindset, vibe, energy you give off, etc.

Also makes you more attractive to women, not always but it happens. I got a "Deer-in-the-headlights" from a sexy girl on day 30 of nofap. This of course never happened to me before nofap...maybe pheromones...maybe because you become more confident.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

and I need to stop fapping, my current recent record is 9 straight days of no fap, I want to see if I can surpass 2-weeks

You most definitely can.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com and no fap academy for helpful resources and of course you come here for support anytime.

I heard that no fap for a full month is when you really start to notice changes about yourself, like your mindset, vibe, energy you give off, etc.

Also makes you more attractive to women, not always but it happens. I got a "Deer-in-the-headlights" from a sexy girl on day 30 of nofap. This of course never happened to me before nofap...maybe pheromones...maybe because you become more confident.

you mean, women can sense when you haven't masturbated in a very long time?

 

[Zoro]

you mean, women can sense when you haven't masturbated in a very long time?

In my unscientific opinion, sexual energy is very potent and vital. I mean come on, the stuff creates life. So when you fap to the moon and back, you release tons of vital energy that could have been channeled for productive pursuits.

Your body thinks you're completing your ultimate biological goal and let's you slack off (or rather needs to recover that energy).

So, can a woman discern from a man full of vital sexual energy vs. A man who depletes his stores on the regular? I would say that if comparing the same man "depleted" and "full" it would be pretty clear to see a difference.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

while i'm sure that masturbating makes you lazy and less sexually aggressive, reduces testosterone, it makes you more likely to go out there and take action, but just because you are more sexually aggressive by no fap for a while, taking action is one thing, knowing how to do it is another, because when you approach a girl, start talking to one for the first time, you gotta know how to flirt, gotta know what to say and when and how to say it, know how to escalate.