FR Gym infield

[average_daygamer]

Right, I gave a girl my number today from a gym approach. This was the gym in my small approaching city where there are many more tourists than my local gym. The key factors of success were

1. She was a tourist, from Greece, European women are more sophisticated than British women

2. I could use a neutral opener (asking where she was from) because she didn't look English

I actually have an audio infield which I can refer to. It's a shame you don't allow attachments posted here otherwise I would post it.

The basic premise is that I opened asking her nationality. She then clarifies she is Greek.

I ask if she is a student but she says she is just visiting a friend in the city.

I say I've never been but I struggle to expand on that, there is a point in the interaction where I realised that I am asking too many questions, so then I stack an assumption upon her asking if she is an athlete.

She states that she does BJJ which is great because I also take an interest in martial arts. I ask what belt she is and she says a blue belt. Maybe that wasn't the best question, too straight forward and logistical. Next time I would ask what she feels when she is training.

I say that I don't like Jujitsu because it involves rolling around on a sweaty mat. However, she elaborates anyway and says she likes it because of how you have to adapt to the situation and the grappel.

I comment that it sounds pretty cool and I then "um and ah" a bit thinking of how I can continue from there. I say something like, "So do you do..." She prompts me and says "competition?" and I just decide to go with that and say "yeah".

She talks about her passion for competing and I add that it is an adrenaline fuelled event and my own experience of competing once in boxing.

I say it is scary but then once you have overcome that, you want to go again and again.

I briefly switch to asking her what her training is consisting of and she says just light weights and cardio.

I expand saying I hate cardio and wanted to get back into the gym to bulk up again.

At the 4 minute mark, I decided that the conversation has run out of momentum and to go for the close before it dies down too much so I suggest I have to get on with my workout.

I ask if she would like to hang out sometime, this wasn't a strong closing line. I have done better in the past but this was my first sniff at a close in many months. She gives a lukewarm blase "yeah, we could do that", to which I say "that would be cool".

For some reason, I talk about coffee instead of suggesting something more congruent like a walk or even maybe a workout in the
same gym together or Jujitsu training.

I also assume that she doesn't drink alcohol go which she corrects me by saying she does. This could have been an opportunity to tease but I missed it. I just say I don't drink alcohol for training reasons.

There is a conflict when I go for the close because I do not have a functional insta and she says she doesn't have WhatsApp. But we all know WhatsApp works off a phone number so I assume she isn't quite comfortable with giving out her phone number.

I think not having an insta was definitely a DLV here. Having an insta would have been really useful for this kind of casual encounter.

Not wanting to look desperate for her phone number, she suggests I give her my number which I do.

I am not holding my breath for her to text but if I see her there again, I will certainly casually reapproach and ask her how things are going.

 

[KJ Francis]

Pretty sweet you have audio and are willing to post.

One option is throw it on bandcamp.com or sound cloud etc

Could also run it through speech-to-text. There's multiple free ones out there if you google search, or I think some AI sites can do it

 

[Wassupmypeepz]

Pretty sweet you have audio and are willing to post.

One option is throw it on bandcamp.com or sound cloud etc

Could also run it through speech-to-text. There's multiple free ones out there if you google search, or I think some AI sites can do it

Or post to YouTube and have it private so only people with a link can access it. If he wants the most help I would hesitate to do speech-to-text as a lot of things like tonality and vocal inflection aren’t captured. But of course it would be better than nothing.

 

[Wassupmypeepz]

Good write-up here @average_daygamer. The one thing that I'm seeing here is that there doesn't seem to be much in the way of flirting here with the girl. It's great that you caught yourself asking too many questions and started making assumptions, thus making the convo more interesting and her more willing to invest into it. But from reading this, it seemed like a perfectly fine convo between two people who have a common interest. Nothing wrong with that. But what I don't get is a man showing interest in a woman.
One of the best things that turns a platonic convo into a more playful man-to-woman dynamic is teasing. I don't know much about martial arts but as an example of what I would have done to add more of a flirtation is this.
If a blue belt is a good rank, I might have said something like:

"Oh okay. So when the bad guys come I'm getting behind you then! I'm valuable property so you gotta protect me."

One it flips the traditional dynamic aligning yourself as the prize and it also compliments her on her achievement. Just in a more fun way. Obviously delivery is important here. It should be said with a smile and an air of lightheartedness.
If a blue belt is not the best, I might say something like:

*Overexaggerated disappointed face* "*her name* Blue belt??? I expected better. I can't be seen with someone that low. You're ruining my street cred around here."

Again it frames you as higher value, but because you're teasing you don't come off as just an asshole. And more importantly, it makes the conversation a lot more lively. And if the girl has any type of personality, it invites her to express it as well.
At the end, you mention you got a blase response to your close, it's likely because of a blase overall conversation.
I also want to ask about your physicality here? Did you incorporate any touch with the girl at all?
Not having an instagram isn't a DLV by the way. If she really liked you, it would add to the mystery. I wouldn't expect much out of this either since you had to give your number. BUT I will say there is one time where I ended up settling giving a girl my number (after doing everything in my power to get her to give me hers) and two months later she reached out and we ended up going on a date. So anything is possible!