FU gym // persian cutie

[stratvm]

i decided to make an FU from this story. my social awareness is at about the same level as two freshly demolished buildings.

Last week:

today in the gym i wanted to say hi 3 superfit girls but i didnt find a chance for 2 (good excuse) - the 3rd though was just about at hand. i noticed her checking me out while doing her workout with her personal trainer - natural tan, superfit body, probably highly paid finance girl. im not exaggerating, i almost shitted myself so the interaction was like:

me - turning around as i knew she was coming behind me - hi... you have a sec? lets stand over there
... i think i came across as intimidating and i felt was facing her too direct and she was probably a bit scared but nevertheless
me: youre so exotic i just HAD to say hi... im stratvm
her: hi... im (i forgot of course)
me: you work out here a lot? havent seen you before?
her: havent seen you before, you work out a lot (at the same time)
me: im a regular but usually come at 8, so your are around all the time huh? (i was totally nervouse so looked to the right and breathed in once heavily smiling and pointing this out)
her: pretty much yes
me: (not seeing any point in continuing as she was feeling awkward or something like this) well then see you around!
her: bye

i would describe her as
- felt intimidated as i came across too hard
- feeling awkward because i was nervous but open for a chat and know more about me. also here its not customary to do this. she wasnt friendly or reassuring or nice which i think is good
- nervous but certainly much less than me
- interested
- and liked i called her exotic and opened direct

me as:
- nervous as fuck, didnt even think just went into the convo

*** i saw her looking after me long i left back to the machines so either she was looking like: "wtf?" or was disappointed i ejected from the conversation. i just couldnt bear the pressure. next week i continue. i know its not a good idea to push for a meeting the 1st time with regulars in gym so this might even be a good start but it was so awkward i just have to laugh at myself. im imagining successful interactions with them and pushing myself to at least say hi/bye to see their faces.

i think just getting out of the comfort zone is not enough, we need success to get more confident.

TODAY:

i went to gym today earlier than usual just to meet her `accidentally.` i decided to ask her out but i didnt make any plans, i was about to improvise. i saw her with her personal trainer. she noticed me but avoided eye contact. i didnt care about this fact. when she finished i was about to take a break from the workout and was walking up and down and she came just in the way so it was basically zero effort to start a conversation:

me: hello miss *** she notices me ***
xxx: hi
m: did you cause any trouble this week?
xxx: no... why would i have? ** suprised face, faint smile, she was really cute looking like that ** ( she didnt get the point of the question, interesting, everyone knows the point)
m: youre cute (i meant it at that situational moment)
m: are you single?
xxx: mmm (indicated with her face not really but yes think she just wanted to brush me off)
xxx: where are you from? (she asked me the same time when i said - so i couldnt really answer her question):
m: because we could cause some trouble... *** showing with my hand im referring to create a social excuse to meet up ***
xxx: noooo...
*** me looking like before not taking it seriously indicating "ohh come on" without saying it - seeing she indicated a no with her expression
m: but it worthed a try!
xxx: sorry?
m: it worthed a try! *** smiling and saying `see you` nonverbally -- so did she

she liked me initially, i saw her checking me out multiple times in the mirror. she did like me, i have no doubt about that.

now where it could go wrong in my opinion:
- being very nervous the first time, ejecting from the conversation - though she did try to do something i think leaving her wondering wtf that was about was the point i blew my chances
- she misinterpreted my `because we could cause trouble together` sentence as a question equal to DTF?
- i shouldnt have said `but it worthed a try` indicating i give up but recover from the blow by answering her question and continue the convo
- not having a longer conversation despite the fact she wanted to know more about me more but her question came the same time as my attempt to ask her out
- she wasnt interested at the first place im just a vivid guy in the gym with all those functional exercises and flashy compression garments this is why she checked me out

the pros though:
- i felt i was totally smooth this time, i mean i wasnt nervous, i didnt say anything preplanned but i felt was appropiate (probably not)
- i say hi to more and more girls, having small talks and see them responding nervously (not the intimidated way) and actually improving while not engaging in high risk situations

but other than that i have no idea. i do feel my social awareness is terrible. i got used to trading highly volatile rate products, i dont even flinch with ukrainian bonds at the verge of collapse, i laugh on venezuela and buy their bonds, when everybody is panicking im on the market, i know no fear in the dodgiest situations i can imagine and these girls just make me wondering where it all could go wrong. funny and disasterous at the same time. cancelled my tomorrow tinder date, i need to recover.

 

[maximus6004]

It's awesome you can see the habits you want to change! It is also good that you set goals, and have picked out your strengths!

Keep up the good work!

Maxmils

 

[Marty]

Stratum:

I've looked at this in detail as well as briefly reviewing your other gym FR from December. Your style is so different than mine, I'm hesitant to comment.

Personally, when I rejoined a gym a month or so go, at the advice of Drck, to build up some muscle (prior to that I'd just been running outdoors and doing pull-ups etc. at home), I took a decision to pretty much leave the girls there alone, no matter how pretty, unless I was blatantly tempted into it by a girl first. (The latter happened once—a girl giving me what seemed like obvious signals; she appeared to receive me well, too, and I got her number but she didn't respond.)

I just felt that by that point I was doing so much in the streets, stores, parks and coffee shops that I ought to concentrate on physique while at the gym—just as I concentrate on girls whenever I'm in the field, which is a good 5 to 6 times per week.

Also, because some people visit the same locale regularly (and the duty staff presumably observe proceedings), I felt like it wasn't a true cold-approach environment; it could have social consequences for either party.

Sounds as if you've got some good momentum going though. Can you work the streets where you are, or are the climate or cultural milieu unsuitable?

-Marty

PS I seem to remember Ross is good at gym game; have a look at some of his FRs if you think that's a comfortable environment for you.

 

[stratvm]

thanks guys!

Marty, this gym is a bit different because those girls frequent it mainly who work a lot and dont go out... well pretty much at all and as we all work nearby they are more open and as i dont go out either i consider this place a valid target. its not a cold approach place youre right either. ill experiment a bit to take things slower as i get too much shxt from girls nowadays to see if that works better.

took a look at Ross` posts on this will try it with new girls definitely. well as for momentum i get loads of dates from tinder but im stepping out of my comfort zone gradually as i do feel i need real successes to get more confident in real life and go forward. yes daygame here is much harder than anywhere but not impossible just have to know the limits.

tinder must be awesome in big us/uk cities though, professional photos + a brief to-the-point tagline and matches/dates are flowing like hell. must be full of girls who want to hookup too.